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Awkward Moments....

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    #272
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    I was visiting my gran and having a surf through her TV channels (she has Sky Digital even though she only watches Telly Bingo) - it was a couple of years back, shortly before her 90th birthday. She is an extremely devout catholic.
    I suppose once I reached the first adult channel, I should have "turned back" but I didn't see the harm in just speeding through them so quickly that nothing would even show, in case there were any interesting channels (e.g. music ones) after them.
    This proved to be a particularly bad idea - because the remote control "froze" at one of the sex channels (it was girl-on-girl rim-job action for anyone who's interested).

    I made up my mind not to make eye contact with her, not even to look at her. And I'm not normally a praying person, but I prayed and prayed that she was engrossed in whatever she was reading (possibly a prayer book). I dashed over to the TV and switched it off, muttering something about how rubbish television has become these days.

    Nothing was said - and I'll never, ever know whether she saw it... but some things are better left unknown. :eek:


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    #273
    Vinta81
    Registered Users Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    Hypothetically speaking, if your crush asks you to dance for him while you're erm having a bit of fun, take the music off of shuffle because you might end up "dancing" to Peter Andre's "Mysterious Girl"....cringe.


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    #274
    sean0
    Registered Users Posts: 141 ✭✭sean0


    When you go for a piss in a urinal and then all a sudden your body decides your not allowed and you end up just standing there....

    When you send a text to the wrong person.
    Your talking about a certain person and you find out they were walking behind you


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    #275
    QOTSA90
    Closed Accounts Posts: 492 ✭✭QOTSA90


    When you are with your OH, someone asks you a question, you put on the *hmm.. im thinking* face, and as you do, your OH starts to kiss you.. you kiss back.. while still making the face and/or eye contact with the person who asked you the question lol


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    #276
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    sean0 wrote: »
    When you go for a piss in a urinal and then all a sudden your body decides your not allowed and you end up just standing there....

    Jesus this happened to me last week. The worst thing is the guy who was in the next urinal came in at the same time as me so there was no chance that I was just 'finishing up' as he came in. I stood there, dick in hand for a minute thinking "this will be the moment". I ended up just walking out like a retard. Went back a couple minutes later, got a cubicle and of course I nearly pissed on me hands it gushed out so fast... **** you body


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    #277
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    Dudess wrote: »
    I was visiting my gran and having a surf through her TV channels (she has Sky Digital even though she only watches Telly Bingo) - it was a couple of years back, shortly before her 90th birthday. She is an extremely devout catholic.
    I suppose once I reached the first adult channel, I should have "turned back" but I didn't see the harm in just speeding through them so quickly that nothing would even show, in case there were any interesting channels (e.g. music ones) after them.
    This proved to be a particularly bad idea - because the remote control "froze" at one of the sex channels (it was girl-on-girl rim-job action for anyone who's interested).

    I made up my mind not to make eye contact with her, not even to look at her. And I'm not normally a praying person, but I prayed and prayed that she was engrossed in whatever she was reading (possibly a prayer book). I dashed over to the TV and switched it off, muttering something about how rubbish television has become these days.

    Nothing was said - and I'll never, ever know whether she saw it... but some things are better left unknown. :eek:
    But those channels are all PPV:confused:
    Sounds like more to granny then devout catholisism :pac:


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    #278
    c4cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭c4cat


    Falling asleep naked on the floor in the front room after sex with girlfrend and she is holding onto my plonker, my Ma walks in and turns the light on...........


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    #279
    Spore
    Registered Users Posts: 1,121 ✭✭✭Spore


    c4cat wrote: »
    Falling asleep naked on the floor in the front room after sex with girlfrend and she is holding onto my plonker, my Ma walks in and turns the light on...........

    ouch... for getting caught in the rude and for calling it your 'plonker', just ouch...


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    #280
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    c4cat wrote: »
    Falling asleep naked on the floor in the front room after sex with girlfrend and she is holding onto my plonker, my Ma walks in and turns the light on...........

    And...

    /continue please..:pac:


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    #281
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    And...

    /continue please..:pac:
    You just want to watch, don't you?!

    Perv! :p


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    #282
    m83
    Registered Users Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭m83


    Been reading my 1st post on Boards have you? :p

    Link to the past


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    #283
    TheCardHolder
    Registered Users Posts: 929 ✭✭✭TheCardHolder


    Talking about someone and they either walk by or enter the conversation and having to quickly change the topic.

    ''So em this weather we are having eh?'' :pac:


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    #284
    TheCardHolder
    Registered Users Posts: 929 ✭✭✭TheCardHolder


    Few more:

    First day of college walking into a lecture hall of a hundred and knowing no one while thinking 'Crap, crap where do I sit'

    Anyone who has met up with someone off the internet for a date or whatever knows awkward during those firrst few minutes until the ice breaks.


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    #285
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    You just want to watch, don't you?!

    Perv! :p

    Yes, are you willing?

    I'm able.:pac:


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    #286
    woodzyx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭woodzyx


    I heard this story the other day and I still can't really get my head around it.

    A few months ago a woman my mam knows was eating in a restaurant in Dublin when Bono came in with a 'well-dressed American man'. She wanted Bono's autograph but was too embarrassed to go over to his table, but when the nice-looking chap he was with left the table briefly, she approached him and asked him to get Bono to sign something for her. He said grand, no problem and got it for her. After Bono and your man left, the manager came over to her and said 'Aw wow! I can't believe Bono and Bruce Springsteen just ate at my restaurant!'.

    What a ditz.
    I don't know her at all but I'd say that she felt like one anyway.


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    #287
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    Yes, are you willing?

    I'm able.:pac:
    Get yer coat, girl, ye've pulled!! ;)


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    #288
    sneakerfreak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    when the girl wakes up and you have to explain how you gained access to her apartment and then how you came to be in her bedroom masturnating over her while she sleeps :(

    and to make matters worse youre dressed in your auntys best dress :(


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    #289
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    sneakerfreak wrote: »
    ... masturnating ...
    Is that something like the helicopter manoeuvre, only solo? :confused:


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    #290
    sneakerfreak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    Is that something like the helicopter manoeuvre, only solo? :confused:

    lol its like normal masturbating but youre turning your hand at the same time as pumping it up and down lol


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    #291
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    So ... yes, then.


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    #292
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    And...

    /continue please..:pac:

    More stuff occurred, yadda yadda yadda . . . . .


    The Aristocrats!!!!


    The end!


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    #293
    sneakerfreak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    then i caught her,ied her to the radiator,went to the kitchen,came into a fyin pan,fried my spunk,put it on a sandwhich and fed it to her,weve been steady friends ever since :)


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    #294
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users Posts: 9,699 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    Dudess wrote: »
    I was visiting my gran and having a surf through her TV channels (she has Sky Digital even though she only watches Telly Bingo) - it was a couple of years back, shortly before her 90th birthday. She is an extremely devout catholic.
    I suppose once I reached the first adult channel, I should have "turned back" but I didn't see the harm in just speeding through them so quickly that nothing would even show, in case there were any interesting channels (e.g. music ones) after them.
    This proved to be a particularly bad idea - because the remote control "froze" at one of the sex channels (it was girl-on-girl rim-job action for anyone who's interested).

    I made up my mind not to make eye contact with her, not even to look at her. And I'm not normally a praying person, but I prayed and prayed that she was engrossed in whatever she was reading (possibly a prayer book). I dashed over to the TV and switched it off, muttering something about how rubbish television has become these days.

    Nothing was said - and I'll never, ever know whether she saw it... but some things are better left unknown. :eek:
    Dont you have to pay for those premium channels to see that kind of action?

    Horny granny ;)


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    #295
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Midnight_EG wrote: »
    Horny granny ;)
    Down, boy!!!


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    #296
    sneakerfreak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    Midnight_EG wrote: »
    Dont you have to pay for those premium channels to see that kind of action?

    Horny granny ;)

    lol my granny was blind,i used to jerk off in front of her lol,best buzz ever lol


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    #297
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users Posts: 9,699 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    sneakerfreak wrote: »
    lol my granny was blind,i used to jerk off in front of her lol,best buzz ever lol
    o_O


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    #298
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    sneakerfreak wrote: »
    lol my granny was blind,i used to jerk off in front of her lol,best buzz ever lol
    ...................eh.............congratulations?


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    #299
    Daysha
    Registered Users Posts: 4,908 ✭✭✭Daysha


    sneakerfreak wrote: »
    lol my granny was blind,i used to jerk off in front of her lol,best buzz ever lol

    I think I speak for everyone when I say you are a sad, weird freak.

    I mean, seriously, WTF!?!?


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    #300
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Daysha wrote: »
    I mean, seriously, WTF!?!?
    It's called the "I'll eventually say something that will shock people" syndrome! ;)


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    #301
    sneakerfreak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭sneakerfreak


    Ultimate Chin wrote: »
    ...................eh.............congratulations?

    cheers dude lol,she used to ask me to sing songs we learnt in school (even when I was like 16+ like lol) so I d sing something like

    Trasna na dtonnta, dul siar, dul siar,
    Slán leis an uaigneas ‘is slán leis an gcian;
    Geal é mo chroí, agus geal í an ghrian,
    Geal bheith ag filleadh go hÉirinn!

    Chonaic mo dhóthain de Thíortha i gcéin,
    Ór agus airgead, saibhreas an tsaoil,
    Éiríonn an croí ‘nam le breacadh gach lae
    ‘S mé druidim le dúthaigh mo mhuintir!

    Ar mo thriall siar ó éirigh mo chroí
    An aimsir go hálainn is tonnta deas réidh
    Stiúradh go díreach go dúthaigh mo chliabh
    ‘S beidh mé in Éirinn amáireach!

    Muintir an Iarthair ‘siad cairde mo chroí,
    Fáilte ‘is féile bheidh romham ar gach taobh.
    Ar fhágaint an tsaoil seo,‘sé guidhim ar an Rí
    Gur leosan a shinsear i gcill mé.

    jerkin off thew whole time then when id finish singin shed clap and thats when id cum lol

    sometimes id cum in her tea lol

    "Jayz the tae's wile salty hey!"

    LMAO

    the dirty bitch


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