Italian Runny Eggs!

A motorist in San Francisco was unknowingly caught in an
automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket
for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture... of handcuffs. He paid the fine.

---

Al Gore was campaigning at an old age retirement home. He went
up to a woman and shook her hand and asked her, "Do you know
who I am?"

"No," replied the old woman, "but if you go to the front desk,
they'll tell you!"

---

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the
head waiter one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one
of them so undercooked that it's runny, and the other so
overcooked that it's tough and hard to eat. Also grilled bacon
that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that
crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter
straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to
spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm."

"That's a very complicated order sir," said the bewildered
waiter, "It might be quite difficult."

The guest replied, "But that's what you served me yesterday!"

---

An Italian woman married an Italian man. The Italian tradition for
newlyweds is to sleep at your mother's house on your wedding night
and remain a virgin until you are married.

After the wedding, the newlyweds went back to her mother's house.
The man went up stairs and the woman stayed to talk to her mom. She
said, "I don't want to go up there." Her mom said, "He's a good
man. Go upstairs and he'll treat you well."

When she got upstairs, the man took off his shirt. She ran back
downstairs and said, "Mama! Mama! He has a hairy chest!" Her mom
said, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs and he will treat
you well."

When she got upstairs, he took off his pants. She ran back downstairs
and said, "Mama! Mama! He has hairy legs!" Her mom said, "All good men
have hairy legs. Go upstairs and he will treat you well."

When she got upstairs he took off his socks. She noticed that half
his foot was missing. She ran downstairs and said, "Mama! Mama! He
has a foot and a half!" Her mom said, "Stay here! This is job for
Mama!"