Computer Software Upgrade

irlhost

Boyfriend 5.0 Vs Husband 1.0
Dear Help Desk,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications which had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

Additionally, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as Football 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to rectify these problems, but to no avail.

Help please!

Rgds
Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

Please bear in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME, then install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. However, remember that overuse could cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will cause Husband 1.0 to crash.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, however, it does have limited memory and is unable to learn new applications quickly. Consider purchasing additional software to improve performance.

Personally, I would recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

Sincerely
Help Desk

Tyrrial

so true to life!

Dermo

here's another one like it:

Dear IT Support

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 which I tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the
same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost)to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse2000. Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example,
Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgot about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip! These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself.

Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my resources.
It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Any Ideas ?

irlhost

NICE