The Duck

OHP

One Friday evening a Duck walked into a Bar hops up on a stool and orders a Pint of Guinness. The Barman looked in amazement at the Duck and said. Are you talking to me? Yes said the Duck can I have a pint please? Sure thing said the barman. After a few pints the barman got talking to the Duck and found out that he worked on a building site just across the road. The Duck came into the pub every Friday evening for weeks after that, had a couple of pints and a chat and left. Then one evening a guy
From the Circus came in and the Barman said hey, I have just the thing for you mate. Every Friday evening a ‘Talking Duck’ comes in here and has a few pints and a chat and I bet you could make a fortune from him. The Circus guy was really interested and gave the barman his card for the Duck to contact him. Friday evening came and in walked the Duck and ordered a pint. The Barman gave the Duck the Circus’s guy’s card and explained that he was really interested in hiring him. The Duck asked. Is that the Circus that’s just down the road with the Big Tent, loads of caged animals and Caravans? Yes said the Barman. But why would he want to hire me said the Duck. I’m a Plasterer?



OHP

Capt'n Midnight

This Duck (the plasterer) goes in to a bar and asks the barman. "Got any bread ?, Got any bread ?" " the barman tells him "sorry we don't have any bread and if you aren't buying a drink could you kindly vacate the premises"

next evening the Duck is back and again "Got any bread ?,Got any bread ?" " barkeep says "look mack this is a bar we don't have any bread - go away"

next evening guess what ? - by now the barman is furious and before the duck can open his beak says "listen you - I've had enough - if you ask for bread - I'm gonna nail your beak to the floor"

"gulp" goes the Duck a bit worried -"Do you have any nails ?" he asks
Barman says "No we don't , would you like a drink?"

"Got any bread ?"

Tyrrial

both jokes.. make me want to hurt myself to try and forget them

Pugsley

Originally posted by Tyrrial
both jokes.. make me want to hurt myself to try and forget them

Im always here to help

Sauron

Meh:ninja:

Capt'n Midnight

Two ducks flying over Northern Ireland - one says to the other "Quack Quack"
and the other replies

I'm sorra I canna go anna quacker"

Rabies

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Two ducks flying over Northern Ireland - one says to the other "Quack Quack"
and the other replies

I'm sorra I canna go anna quacker"

Perfect joke when in a pub