Feeling seriously depressed and suicidal

LegacyUser

I just feel like my life is a disaster and going nowhere

I'm 23

I've got no friends

I've just finished college and dont know what I want to do with my life

I've no job

My Mother is a recovering alcoholic and manic depressive (I worry that being like this she is going to get bad cause she will worry about me)

I'm gay but feel too scared to socialise on the gay scene
(this is probably because I was bullied at school and found it extremely hard to socialise in general anyway)

I havent come out at home

I've got a mental block about talking through things at home


I just feel like slashing my wrists or taking an overdose

GoneShootin

did you even read the other threads from the last week ? they are pretty much similar to your problems

you can add "and im lazy" to your list of worrys

LegacyUser

thanks

p.pete

Originally posted by GoneShootin
did you even read the other threads from the last week ? they are pretty much similar to your problems

you can add "and im lazy" to your list of worrys

The softly, softly approach is it?

You were to lazy to even provide a link - what would it of cost ye? hope ye don't work in the Samaritans;)

bombidol

Everyweek there are 10 topics of this nature. While i feel bad that a lot of people feel this way. there is generally one answer that gets put into every thread. and thats "do something about it"

"I'm gay but feel too scared to socialise on the gay scene" - Get over it and go out within hours you'll be happy as larry talkin to some chief.


"I've just finished college and dont know what I want to do with my life" - Try and get a job in whatever you studied. That ones easy

"I've got no friends" - See the Gay bit

"I havent come out at home" - Dont come out till you are happy, perhaps you being happy might help your mum

Maybe you dont want answers, maybe you just want to vent and get it all off your chest.

BuffyBot

E-mail: jo@samaritans.org

Phone: 1850 60 90 90


TBH while Gone may not have put it in the most tactful way, he makes a point.

What have you done to make your life better lately. Sometimes you need to make the desicions rather than have others tell you what to do.

Life is harash, but there are people there to listen. Listening is all they can do. In the end change is up to you.

p.pete

Spot on BuffyBot, just didn't appreciate the "and your lazy too" response in the earlier post.

Perhaps log onto something like nightcourses dot com and see if there is anything there of interest - get out into the world with people who share something of a common interest.

I know what GoneShootin is probably saying is that whatever ends up being said on this thread has already been said. Tact is a valuable life skill though - I'm still developing my own;)

GoneShootin

Originally posted by p.pete

You were to lazy to even provide a link

oh the "irony" of it all

p.pete

Glad you appreciated it:) I just hate when someone quotes me and I've made a spelling mistake, how embarassing. I'll be starting my own suicidal thread soon.

amp

Hi, my names GoneShootin, and I get my kicks out of flaming depressed newbies because I feel all superior. What can I do to stop this anti-social behavoir?

Black Hole, you need to talk to someone about the problems your having. Go to your GP, ring the Samaratins. But don't kill yourself. Believe me your life will not always be the way it is. It might seem like it currently but it will change.

You're at rock bottom at the moment. Find just one good thing that you like about yourself or that you like to do. Personally I find smiling or making stupid faces at myself in the mirror helps me when I'm down.

Set yourself some small goals. Like jogging around the block. Or writing a short story. Something like that. You'll feel better for it, believe me.

And once you've built up a little self-confidence you can set yourself bigger goals.

Good luck.

GoneShootin

Originally posted by amp
Hi, my names GoneShootin, and I get my kicks out of flaming depressed newbies because I feel all superior. What can I do to stop this anti-social behavoir?

it was not a flame, nor do I get my kicks in such a manner.

there are already plenty of threads of similar material. as has already been said, the same anwers will be given yet again to this thread

Originally posted byp.pete
I know what GoneShootin is probably saying is that whatever ends up being said on this thread has already been said

Sleipnir

there are already plenty of threads of similar material. as has already been said, the same anwers will be given yet again to this thread

So apparently, we don't need the Samaritans, you can get all the answers to your problems from boards.ie!

Some poor guy comes on this board to say he's suicidal and wants to cut his wrists and you say

you can add "and im lazy" to your list of worrys

What would you think if next week, you heard that this was a guy you went to school with or was one of your mates and he'd killed himself?

If you've got nothing helpful to say then say nothing and try a little empathy before you get on your high horse.

jammy_dodger

Im not entirly sure of the legitimacy of black holes post,
1. unregistered (ok not the best reson)
2. He makes bullet points, each with subject matter identical to threads that have been going around the past week on personal issues board.
3. He just makes bullet points, he dose'nt ask of anything,No oh who can i turn to, or has anyone else expierienced any of this?, when i first read it i thought he was taking the piss out of all the other threads.

That was my first impression, and still is. But Black Hole if you want our opinions, your gonna need to clarify these issues for us.(not just bullet points) It 'seems' you have a lot on your plate, maybe just tackle one issue at a time.

p.s. im not flaming you, im just sceptic

amp

Originally posted by GoneShootin
it was not a flame, nor do I get my kicks in such a manner.

there are already plenty of threads of similar material. as has already been said, the same anwers will be given yet again to this thread

Ah of course. So everybody who's new to boards should automatically have read the previous weeks threads.

Depression is an illness. It's one of the worst kind of illnesses. The fact that you and many other people don't understand that annoys me.

Gordon

GS - take a step back and read the original post again - think about it and then read your reply.

JD - thanks for the skepticism but do you really need to list all the possibilities instead of bullet pointing them?

Black hole ring the Samaritans or email them at the address provided above. It will take time but we all have to go through dark patches, if we didn't the bright patches wouldn't be much fun.

You have to talk to a professional, I guarantee that if you talk to the Samaritans you will feel a little better.

cat_rant

wishing you the best of luck blackhole i know its tough because ive been there i suffer from depression and amps right its one of the worst illnesses but there is hope but only if your willing to talk to someone i think a cxounsiller might do you some good i have issuses iwth self confidence and socielising too but my counsiller is helping me with that .
the samaritans are really good ive talked to them before and theres no need to feel any anxiety about needing help it just prooves your stronger than you think.ive got scares to prove my past in self harm and its not the answer to your problems it only makes them worse.
you need to talk to your gp about your suicidal thoughts you could need medication even if its just for a little while.
as far as not having any freinds well you have to start taking care of yourself first before you can be concerned about others so take some time to think about yourself and do things for yourself that will make you feel better in yourself .
you finished your college course well done thats one of achievments! go you!!
if you ever need to talk to someone whos been there done that and been on nearly every anti depressant you welcome to pm me
also you might want tyo get in touch with AWARE they are an organisation for the support of people with depression ill post the number at a later date
good luck and things will get better

jammy_dodger

JD - thanks for the skepticism but do you really need to list all the possibilities instead of bullet pointing them?

yes.

How can we help, and give our opinions, with

I've just finished college and dont know what I want to do with my life

Did he graduate, leave,flunk,pick the wrong subject?
With the info he's given us, the only advice we can give him is, go to some else.

and thats not very helpful is it ?

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for all the help, this was and is genuine. I guess one of the reasons I provided so little information is because I wanted to list why I feel like I do because I cant really explain this. I also have serious problems as I said before talking through my problems.

I am just in a serious rut.

I am going to see my GP tomorrow anyway

Gordon

Good luck, sometimes you need a third perspective on things, hopefully your doctor can speak openly with you and you can speak openly too.

jammy_dodger

Sorry for being sceptic.

wait for it........






I was wrong.


I wish you luck too,

Sleipnir

Yeah well Blackhole, we all get low like this at some point, maybe not to the extremes your talking about but we all have our crosses to bear. You're just having it tougher than most right now,
I remmber being out of work for 7 months and God, I got so low. Didn't want to go out etc etc but it's ok now. And I dropped out of college after my first year, and then I did the same thing again in another college, it's not the end of the world believe me!


BTW, If you want to post things like "you're lazy too" (paraphrased) and "get over it" then put yourself in this situation.
Your mate asks to meet you in a pub and says to you exactly what Black Hole said in his original post; he's depressed and doesn't know where his life is going and is suicidal (just try for a sec to place yourself there)
Then look in his face and say
"you're lazy too"
and now picture your friend's face.

GoneShootin

Originally posted by amp
Ah of course. So everybody who's new to boards should automatically have read the previous weeks threads.

Depression is an illness. It's one of the worst kind of illnesses. The fact that you and many other people don't understand that annoys me.

I fail to see how someone using "unregistered" automatically means that the person is a newbie. And of course I understand that Depression is an illness, please don't assume such a thing.

Originally posted by Kananga
So apparently, we don't need the Samaritans, you can get all the answers to your problems from boards.ie!

What would you think if next week, you heard that this was a guy you went to school with or was one of your mates and he'd killed himself?

If you've got nothing helpful to say then say nothing and try a little empathy before you get on your high horse.

Kananga, I don't see where your getting "you can get all your answers on boards.ie" from my post. Would you not agree with me that had the person gone through the forum he would see that he is not alone, and take the comments from the other threads and use them in his struggle ?

If I heard this of course I would be devistated, who wouldnt. I would hate to imagine a friend of mine commiting suicide. What has that got to do with my post though ?

I did say something helpful - "look at the forums". I will try to be more empathetic in future when browsing this forum, about that I am sincere. I dont own a horse, of any height. I do own a very small dog though

Originally posted by Gordon
GS - take a step back and read the original post again - think about it and then read your reply.

Gordon, I appreciate the idea. I have done so and I do not see anything "wrong" with my post. I dont browse PI myself very often, perhaps it requires more tact. But then why would my post NOT be as "valid" as the next persons.

Originally posted by Kananga
Your mate asks to meet you in a pub and says to you exactly what Black Hole said in his original post; he's depressed and doesn't know where his life is going and is suicidal (just try for a sec to place yourself there)Then look in his face and say "you're lazy too"and now picture your friend's face.

Please don't be so melodramatic


To Black Hole

I do sincerely hope that you come through your problems. Life is too good to end it so soon. I'd love to see you post back in a few weeks time, and let us know how things are going. Im sure it would be a benefit to others in the same situation as yourself, and to let them know that YES, there is a solution.

Gordon

Any update black hole? You posted on the alcoholic mother thread just now and seem a little lighter.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
What if black hole went had of top'd his/her self because of GS's remarks.

Now there would be an interesting quandary. Would people drive GS to suicide because his remarks may have been the final nail in black holes coffin, literally or console him and tell him it wasn’t his fault.

And then if GS top’d himself would there be group hugs all round?

hmmm quandary indeed.

now merc, if i had said that im sure id be accused of trolling.

on the other hand, if you put your post up on a public bullitan board, you should be prepared for all types of answers.

whatever the answer may be, most people here think they are helpful, whether it is of the bludgeoning straight talking type, or the useful telephone number type, try to understand that you have asked everyone for an opinion, and everyone is entitled to give it, whether you belive it is useful or not.
chastising other posters is neither big nor clever.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

smiles

Right, I get the feeling I should take Merc_Tilt off ignore....

<< Fio >>

black hole

Ok, just to get back to this topic

This is what I posted a few weeks ago and I just thought I'd get back and let everyone who responded know whats happening:

I just feel like my life is a disaster and going nowhere
*I'm 23
*I've got no friends
*I've just finished college and dont know what I want to do with my life
*I've no job
*My Mother is a recovering alcoholic and manic depressive (I worry that being like this she is going to get bad cause she will worry about me)
*I'm gay but feel too scared to socialise on the gay scene
(this is probably because I was bullied at school and found it extremely hard to socialise in general anyway)
*I havent come out at home
*I've got a mental block about talking through things at home

I just feel like slashing my wrists or taking an overdose

I spoke briefly to my Mum about how I was feeling (although I still didn't tell her a lot of things). My Mum suggested going to her Psychiatrist but I didn't really feel comfortable with that so I suggested our Doctor

I went to a GP and explained how I was feeling, he prescribed me anti depressant medication called lexapro and referred me to a counsellor.

Had my first session with the counsellor last week. It's difficult expressing my feelings but I did talk quite a lot, I suppose one of the most difficult questions she asked was what do you want to achieve from counselling. She listened to what I was saying and explained to me the way she works. She takes a holistic view of the person and tries to achieve a balance. She is a Reiki master (don't know exactly what reiki is but I'm going to look it up on the internet). Anyway the plan is that I would have six sessions with her and then review it.

As for other things, I have been out a bit lately on the gay scene in Dublin, I am currently looking for a job and I am feeling a bit better about things

Gordon

Thats great news, it'll be difficult but it can only get better when it is only feeling nothing.

I met a girlfriend of a Reiki healer on Friday.

cat_rant

black hole great to hear things are going better for you . only when you start making changes in your life can things get better and youve made an excellent start. im on lexopro too its not a bad antio depressant it suits me well and ive been in counsilling for 5 month and things have come along way for me i think counsilling is the best way to sort through problems and i wish u the best luck. once you start the ball rolling other things will fall into place given enough time. please keep us posted on how you get on

Lump

Hey mate, dont often come on here, but its good to see that you are feeling better, hope everything comes together for you. Just a point, if you dont like the area that you studied in college then look at a different career I know sometimes people do something in college for the sake of it. Get into an area that interests you, or just get a bog standard job. You'd be amazed how being around people will make you feel better, even just if in a work area. Make friend in your job, go out have a laugh. People will accept you for who you are and understand any thing that you want to tell them, or not tell them if thats the case. Dont feel pressured by what's the "Norm" be your own person.



Take care.



John

RopeDrink

When things are at their lowest, and you are feeling excrutiatingly ****, one of the worst thing you can do is drag yourself down. I've been through the whole "I don't know what to do with myself" ****e... Infact I still AM going through it, what with me having one of the lowest jobs (Which I'll either be leaving / getting fired from soon), being evicted soon, having to put up with continuous illnesses that make me miserable etc...

These are things that go away (Some only go away when you make them) so do not drag yourself down... Instead, find the things that perk you up. The small things - Things you can do in your spare time before you utilise the rest of your time working on other parts that bring you down, such as the whole unemployment, adjusting yourself to the gay scene, general socialising etc...

Sometimes I read threads like these and I laugh...
Not in a nasty way, but in the way where I just can't believe how little some of you have gone through before stating you're "Depressed" - I've had a decade's worth of continuous ****e, and I'm still fighting to keep some relatively normal shape to my sanity, but I'm so adapted to it now that the majority of problems bounce off me. For example, when my girlfriend asked me how I felt about us being evicted, I just shrugged. I'm seeing it as a positive thing, and am very relaxed about it, as I am with the extremely high possibility of me losing my job. I'm relaxed because I know, in the end, all these little obstacle are hurdles that, if you happen to trip over, you will learn from...

There is no better gain other than experience, and once you go out there and try to make a change for yourself, you'll be able to come back here and be the one giving advice on similar situations instead of the one raising the hand and telling us you still have this problem.

Anyone who expects life to be easy for them is a fool, yet it is only hard when it is ontop of you.

DriftingRain

I am feeling a bit better about things

YIPPY!!
Good Luck with the sessions. Get the most out of it and you'll do great:D

RapierX

calculate the responses cunningly, some of been good, namely amp and lump. others have been terrible.
Counselling and psychs can only help you if u have the mentality to let them 'into' you. I would say, judging by your wording and attitude it will take a long time. You have to let go and open up. If your suicidal and really thinking about ending your life - that takes more guts than going for help, so just say **** the world and whats in it and do whatever u want to do. Suicidal people arent the crazy ones, they are just too sane. I wont say good luck to you and all that **** because you dont need luck, you need assertion. Crator the earth like it is your toliet water.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by RapierX
takes more guts than going for help, so just say **** the world and whats in it and do whatever u want to do

yeah, thats right. go and top yourself.



dont you have summer camp to go to?

patch

Originally posted by RapierX
calculate the responses cunningly, some of been good, namely amp and lump. others have been terrible.
Counselling and psychs can only help you if u have the mentality to let them 'into' you. I would say, judging by your wording and attitude it will take a long time. You have to let go and open up. If your suicidal and really thinking about ending your life - that takes more guts than going for help, so just say **** the world and whats in it and do whatever u want to do. Suicidal people arent the crazy ones, they are just too sane. I wont say good luck to you and all that **** because you dont need luck, you need assertion. Crator the earth like it is your toliet water.

What kind of a stupid kunt are you? I've cunningly calculated that your response is the worst I've yet seen in ANY reply. Go away.

Webmonkey

He is some idiot, RapierX do you even know what you are saying?
black hole do not listen to this low life, He just isn't right in the head.RapierX what about his mother? Ever think of the effects that it has on other people that are close? Get a life.


Blackhole:
Life is great - Live it to the best, Make people around you happy, Get Friends Socialise, Who cares about you being Gay - Ennjoy Life and don't waste it.
I wish you the best of luck