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Lookin for a yankee job..........hobbes, goatboy???

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  • 07-01-1999 6:32am
    #1
    Zero
    Registered Users Posts: 1,399 ✭✭✭


    Lads,
    me n OL n Omar and another guy are heading to USA again this summer, and being finished college by then with a BSc in Computer Systems, I want a decent job with enough cash to bring lots of luvly girlies out on the town in me luvly car and all that.
    Basically, I want some fukkin work, and I know my sh!t, so if any of you older lads with contacts n stuff know anywhere lookin for a scruffy scumbag to work for them, i'd appreciate you lettin me know. thanx.

    Zero. <IMG SRC="http://lacerta.ucg.ie/boards/frown.gif&quot; WIDTH=15 HEIGHT=15 BORDER=0 ALT=":(">


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  • Options
    #2
    Cloud
    Registered Users Posts: 5,049 ✭✭✭Cloud


    Christopher Columbus, who'd want a guy with a smiley face like that <IMG SRC="http://lacerta.ucg.ie/boards/tongue.gif&quot; WIDTH=15 HEIGHT=15 BORDER=0 ALT=":P">

    J.
    --


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    #3
    Zero
    Registered Users Posts: 1,399 ✭✭✭Zero


    no no john, that was my 'coming into work after a serious night of drunken carousing' face. When im looking for a job, i'll have my nice <IMG SRC="http://lacerta.ucg.ie/boards/smile.gif&quot; WIDTH=15 HEIGHT=15 BORDER=0 ALT=":)"> smiley face on me.

    So, who wants to give me a job?


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    #4
    earthworm_jim
    Closed Accounts Posts: 225 ✭✭earthworm_jim


    Hey Zero,

    dunno anything about any american capitalist scum jobs but here's an application to a fast food joint that's supposedly genuine and made me smile <IMG SRC="http://lacerta.ucg.ie/boards/smile.gif&quot; WIDTH=15 HEIGHT=15 BORDER=0 ALT=":)"> - see!

    NAME: Greg Bulmash

    DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

    SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY
    PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD

    PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
    I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
    BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

    SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.


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    #5
    Scarab
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Scarab


    ROFL!

    Nice one Mark <IMG SRC="http://lacerta.ucg.ie/boards/tongue.gif&quot; WIDTH=15 HEIGHT=15 BORDER=0 ALT=":P">


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