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it is great to be a man

  • 25-07-2003 12:17pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,942 ✭✭✭


    DAMN, IT's GREAT TO BE A MAN!

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to go to another gas station because this one's too "icky".....

    Same work ... more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood, ALL the damn time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

    You can kill your own food.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

    You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me".

    You don't mooch off other's desserts.

    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    <>><<><> Damn, It's Great to Be a Man!

    :D:D:D


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Not so much funny, as incredibly true...:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 267 ✭✭EdBanger


    yup!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 175 ✭✭napalm@night


    very kol as the song says"This is a mans world...." as the song says


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 999 ✭✭✭Raz


    You know stuff about tanks.
    One of the best parts :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭Kalina


    Very funny and some very true.

    However, I'm female AND I know stuff about tanks. And not just that they have tracks and shoot stuff!! I've seen Kelly's Heroes!! :):):)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,698 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    rite then we'll test u...


    Which country made the most effective tanks of ww2?

    Which tank was considered the overall most effective tank of ww2?

    Which was the biggest of ww2?

    True or false Britain are as good with tanks as they are with planes in ww2...

    What do tank crews fear most?

    come un guys all the questions u kno ask her!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,892 ✭✭✭bizmark


    :D lol i know the answers to all them

    Lol it truely is good tobe male


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,592 ✭✭✭Ro: maaan!


    BlitzKrieg I really thought you were onto something there until you said "her". Knowlage of tanks is such a stupid f*cking way to define being a man. Great! I'm a man! I can tell you anything you want to know about killing-machines!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,892 ✭✭✭bizmark


    M1a1 Abram tank anyone? :D

    ro maaan

    its a joke lighten up m8


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭Wolf


    The list is wonderfull but it forgot to mention the most important one of all.......

    You will never have to give brith:D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    Originally posted by Wolf
    The list is wonderfull but it forgot to mention the most important one of all.......

    You will never have to give brith:D
    How very true, its great been a man. :D:D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by BlitzKrieg
    rite then we'll test u...


    Which country made the most effective tanks of ww2?

    Which tank was considered the overall most effective tank of ww2?

    Which was the biggest of ww2?

    True or false Britain are as good with tanks as they are with planes in ww2...

    What do tank crews fear most?

    come un guys all the questions u kno ask her!!
    Ill have a stab at this one:
    Russia

    T-34

    Tiger was the biggest mass produced one, but I think there were some in testing near the end of WW2 which were bigger.

    No, britain do air combat, leave the tanks to the Americans who can out produce the Nazi's by over 3 times.

    Machine Guns, a .50cal opening up on a tank would great huge ricochets and shrapnel inside the viechle and would be likely to kill/cripple the crew.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,181 ✭✭✭✭Jim


    lighten up?lighten up? are you saying that women are better at tanks tan men.this is ****.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,808 ✭✭✭Dooom


    Originally posted by Pugsley
    Machine Guns, a .50cal opening up on a tank would great huge ricochets and shrapnel inside the viechle and would be likely to kill/cripple the crew.


    i thought they would have been a bit more scared of panzershrecks/fausts/bazooka teams or whatever? or land mines? or even those dogs that they tied mines to and sent them running at or infront of tanks...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,892 ✭✭✭bizmark


    re you saying that women are better at tanks tan men

    no the other way around m8


    Which country made the most effective tanks of ww2?

    Russia
    Which tank was considered the overall most effective tank of ww2?

    T34
    Which was the biggest of ww2

    The elaphant (sp) 70 ton german tank destroyer compleatly wortless
    True or false Britain are as good with tanks as they are with planes in ww2...

    Britain sucked at tank,s the churchill etc :eek:
    What do tank crews fear most?

    Being over run with enemy solider,s or breaking a track

    Those are my answers lol


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,290 ✭✭✭TomTom


    i liked, alot. But the not giving birth think is def the best or not having to bleed for five days.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 534 ✭✭✭bozzie


    yeah being a man is great


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 622 ✭✭✭ColinM


    Originally posted by de5p0i1er
    How very true, its great been a man...
    ... and now you are a woman?
    If you know anything about tanks, you could call yourself Tank Girl


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 Caraboo2you


    Well, God love all you wonderful men because someone has to, skid marks and all, hehehe.;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,169 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Originally posted by Caraboo2you
    Well, God love all you wonderful men because someone has to, skid marks and all, hehehe.;)

    But thats the thing...we don't have to be loved :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 Caraboo2you


    But thats the thing...we don't have to be loved

    Ooohhh yes you do! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,169 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    We have dogs.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by Spike
    i thought they would have been a bit more scared of panzershrecks/fausts/bazooka teams or whatever? or land mines? or even those dogs that they tied mines to and sent them running at or infront of tanks...
    They'd kill the tank, but the tank crew would be more or less unscathed, so if they had backup the tank crew would remain alive more often than not, and the question is for the tank CREW, not the tank itself :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 944 ✭✭✭nahdoic


    Originally posted by Caraboo2you
    Ooohhh yes you do! :D

    Are you confusing sex with love?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 953 ✭✭✭superconor


    what a tank driver fears most is a fire from the engine or whatnot, which almost invariably kills all, (or at least it was espec in WW1 or WW2)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭Kalina


    Originally posted by BlitzKrieg
    rite then we'll test u...
    come un guys all the questions u kno ask her!!

    Well, I probably wouldn't have known the answers to some of those questions you posted, not the T34 question anyway. Point made BlitzKrieg!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Sposs


    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    Hell yea,whats womans obbession with shopping for christmas every weekend from October.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭Kalina


    Most women have an obsession for shopping all year, I certainly do. I just don't indulge that often cos I'm always broke!! :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 Caraboo2you


    Nope. I know the difference. The husband, on the other hand, claims no distinction, especially when he's in the doghouse (didn't someone mention dogs before?). =-)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭Eron


    What kind of man buys 25 christmass gifts?? And on the subject of tanks I think the most feared thing for a tank crew would be getting stuck in marshy ground - in enemy territory, plus someone needing to take a dump in a battle situation....


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