Got this in my mail...

Hobbes

Hello.

Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You,
bleary-eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been
outside? Know what day of the week it is?

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned
about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help.
We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that
provides support and counseling through weekly meetings designed to help
you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases,
interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured,"
you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine
if you are an addict. Do you:
1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?
3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only
to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll
never do business with anyway?
6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal
preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd
usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?
10) All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a
problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:
1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORSWEETJESUSSAKE.

We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery
is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today.
If you can power off to free up your phone line, that is.