Phone Phobia

b3t4

I know this might sound daft to most people but it is really starting to annoy me.

I mean I am completely petrified at the thought of ringing people I don't know.

I am currently starting to look for accomdation in Limerick for college. I can't bare to pick up the phone to ring the numbers of landlords.

I had to also look for accomdation when I moved to Dublin and was shaking when I started to ring people. I got a place in the end but hate the thought of having to do this all again.

I keep putting it off and I need to start getting a place organised soon.

Is there anyone else like this or is it just me??
Does anyone have advice on how I might get over this.

Thanks.

Virus_Inc

Well I ain't really much of a psychiatrist so I can't really suggest anything to fix the problem but as a workaround how bout getting a friend to do the calling for you? That way at least you can get something useful done...

commuterised

Try to figure out exactly what it is that freaks you out about this.
Is it not knowing what to say, talking to someone you don't know?
If you have to ring these numbers again and again and again maybe it will start to get a little better.

How about writing down a list of things you want to say, do some breathing excersizes before you start and just try to remember that these people are expecting you to ring. It's not like you're bothering them, they want to get rid of the room as much as you want to take it.

Don't leave it any longer to start ringing or the panic will really stress you out.
Do you have any problems talking on the phone to people you already know? family etc?

commuterised

Originally posted by b3t4
I know this might sound daft to most people but it is really starting to annoy me.

PS you're not daft, at least you're not worried about your willie like the other zillion posts here!

Stark

haha, it's turning green, do I really need to see a doctor?

I used to have the same problem ringing people. Writing down what you're going to say helps an awful lot. Also remember that it's okay to sound a little nervous. Worrying about sounding nervous is only going to make you more nervous.

MAC_E

Imagine your talking to someone face to face. Have a cup of tea or listen to some relaxing music before you make the phone calls to the landlords.
It might seem daunting, but the more calls you make the easier it should seem.

sunbeam

Originally posted by k.oriordan
I used to have the same problem ringing people. Writing down what you're going to say helps an awful lot. Also remember that it's okay to sound a little nervous. Worrying about sounding nervous is only going to make you more nervous.

Yes that's what I used to do too. Write yourself a script for what you need to say-you needn't follow it word for word. For example if looking for a place to stay you might like to write down a list of prompts for the questions you want to ask about the flat. These needn't be full sentences unless you are very nervous.

Take a deep breath and 'rehearse' the phonecall once in your head. Imagining it going ok should help to calm you down.

Good luck!:)

koneko

I just to be exactly the same. Mad.

I was never quite sure why either. I think partly I was just worried I'd say the wrong things and always got all worked up other things like that.

I just had to force myself to do it. The more you ring people the more you get used to it and the easier it'll get.

Before you make the call, get a piece of paper and write down some short notes of what you want to say or check. It's easier when you have things jotted down in front of you than if you wing it.

b3t4

Thanks for yeer replies. I don't feel so odd now.

I write down some of the things I want to say, it helps to a degree but doesn't remove the fear. I think I'll try to have a pre-run of the conversations I might have with landlords with my boyfriend tonight. That might help calm me a bit.

The worst part if picking up the phone, dialling and then waiting for an answer. Feel similar to how you felt koneko. So worried about saying the wrong thing.

Have no problems ringing, friends and family. Although I wouldn't ring people as often as other people might. I put off ringing up to register AIB banking online for a year because I didn't want to ring the number. When I worked up the courage it turned out to only be a case of talking to a machine. I was so relieved.

A.

Puck

Are you normally shy? Do you have trouble talking to strangers face-to-face?

b3t4

In certain circumstances I am shy but otherwise Im quite the opposite of shy. I love meeting new people and talking to new people. I'd talk to a wall if it talked back. but the using the phone just unnerves me.

I think my fear may have come from when I was younger. My sister would always answer the phone at home. I never got used to using the phone and she would always ring people for me if I asked her. I would listen to her using the phone and think that I would never have the right words to say to someone.

A.

query

Stand up when you're on the phone

Might sounds stupid, but it works wonders!

xx

Originally posted by b3t4
I know this might sound daft to most people but it is really starting to annoy me.

I mean I am completely petrified at the thought of ringing people I don't know.

I am currently starting to look for accomdation in Limerick for college. I can't bare to pick up the phone to ring the numbers of landlords.

I had to also look for accomdation when I moved to Dublin and was shaking when I started to ring people. I got a place in the end but hate the thought of having to do this all again.

I keep putting it off and I need to start getting a place organised soon.

Is there anyone else like this or is it just me??
Does anyone have advice on how I might get over this.

Thanks.

Try working in a call centre for 4 years!!! I did, and now I loath calling people I don't know.

WhiteWashMan

sales and customer service right out the wondow for you then!
having said that, im not too fond of it either, but it does get easier.

either that or imagine the person on the other end of the phone is having a 'peddle and crank'
now, that ought to cheer oyu up!

Kalina

I'm house-hunting right now and though it's not my favourite activity to waste my weekends, but usually landlords are decent enough on the phone and quite business like.
Remember, even if you do say the 'wrong thing' they don't know you, they can't see you so it's not likely to matter in the long run!
Good luck finding a place!

ferdi

welcome to my world - HERMATRION - the world of the painfully shy. i am exactly like you, on the phone and sometimes in person (usually with girls), there's nothing you can do about it.

Zascar

I'm kinda the same, If I was in a situation like that I would usually text them and see if they call back... Maybe I don't want to disturb them, cause I hate it when some twat wants to talk when I'm doing somehting better... the funny thing is I work in sales and call about 20-30 people every day! You get used to it after a while, the first 30 seoncds is the hardest.... get a grip on that and you'll be fine

DMT

Originally posted by b3t4
I mean I am completely petrified at the thought of ringing people I don't know.

It's probably a subconscience thing from your childhood when your parents told you never to mess with the phone or to make a phone call - your subsonscience prcieves making a pone call a doing something wrong.

Try putting on an accent while making the phone call - it will help to change your perception of what you're doing.

nuvolari

just remember, the person you're calling doesn't know you and they probably won't have a chance to form a negative impression of you in the space of a phone call.

Webmonkey

Originally posted by nuvolari
just remember, the person you're calling doesn't know you and they probably won't have a chance to form a negative impression of you in the space of a phone call.

Yep thats what i was about to post. Its prob the scary ringing sound that scares you but once they answer isnt everything fine? Ring more often and the fear will go away - it will!

Falkorre

You have had a lot of very well thought thru advice above.

Often, people who are afraid of talking on the phone have issues with trust. The are often people who when talking to somone face to face are fine, because they are usually *extremely* good at reading facial expressions and body language. The thought of being without those failsafes freaks them out a bit.

One thing you might like to try to see if you fit in this category is when you are next talking to somone face to face, from time to time, look away or over their shoulder or at their hairline when ur talking to them, so you cant *see* their facial expressions or body language, see if it makes you uncomfortable (prolly best done with people you dont know well yet), if it does, at least you know what the issue you need to work on is

Hope that helps

B

Caffine

Originally posted by b3t4
Is there anyone else like this or is it just me??
Does anyone have advice on how I might get over this.

Thanks.

i get the same sort of thing myself, i get really nervous about it, even just ringing friends.

what i do i grab the phone and dial before i can think about it too much, im sure like other phobias it will get better the more u ring ppl, faceing your fears and all that.

fizzy

yep i hate doing it too and so do a few of my friends who are a lot less freakish than me
i'm better face to face but e-mailing is my favourite means of communication! i just get very nervous and flustered on the phone.
writing stuff down is a good idea and practising with someone should help a lot too...
and it does get easier with practise - i know one summer when i was working i had to make a lot of phone calls to strange companies etc when i didn't know what i was talking about which is the worst case scenario for me - at first i used to put making a phonecall off for as long as possible but by the end of the summer even i was fine with it. a couple of years on and i'm out of practise again so the dislike has returned somewhat but it will get easier for you....

cournioni

Originally posted by koneko
I just to be exactly the same. Mad.

I was never quite sure why either. I think partly I was just worried I'd say the wrong things and always got all worked up other things like that.

I just had to force myself to do it. The more you ring people the more you get used to it and the easier it'll get.

Before you make the call, get a piece of paper and write down some short notes of what you want to say or check. It's easier when you have things jotted down in front of you than if you wing it.

This just about sums up what I was about to post.

b3t4

Hey everyone,

Just had to say thanks for all yeer advice. I have just spent the last 40mins on the phone to different landlords and it all went ok. Im looking at some places on saturday. I used the script idea and tried to smile before I rang them. I got my boyfriend to dial the numbers so all I had to do was worry about talking to the people.

Some of the people weren't very nice but others were lovely

I was very nervous but got through it. Im still a bit shaky though. Feel so silly for letting it get to me this much.

Thanks again,
A.

Webmonkey

Congradulations - Thats great

We are glad we have helped you fight your phobia and win it.

Victor

Try texting

koneko

Glad to hear it :-)

Don't feel silly though, it's not uncommon. One thing I did (pretty drastic I know!) to get over it was work in a call centre. Nearly had a few minor heart attacks the first few days but it definitely helped.

It's just a matter of trying not to think about it too much, and just basically forcing yourself into it. Dial the number before worrying. If I think about a call too much and worry and fuss I'll start hesitating and put off making the call. So instead I turn off my stupid brain and just dial the number.

Lord Nikon

If your gonna ring, ring for a reason. If you have something to say to the other person, say it and hang up.

Auburn

Beta - I used to feel the same - glad to know there's a few more people with the same problem. I don't feel like as much of a freak now

Originally posted by Dawntreader

Often, people who are afraid of talking on the phone have issues with trust. The are often people who when talking to somone face to face are fine, because they are usually *extremely* good at reading facial expressions and body language. The thought of being without those failsafes freaks them out a bit.

Think you hit the nail on the head Dawntreader!!

Lennoxschips

I used to have a slight problem in phoning people too, but then I got a job where I was constantly needing to call people and be called by people. Now I'm a bit of a charmer on the phone

Shilo

And here was me thinking I was some kind of freak.... Well, maybe I am but that might be a different story! I hate phoning people as well, sometimes even friends and family, but most of all at work. The stupidest part is that I'm fine when someone rings me - I can be perfectly concise and business-like! I have to start job hunting soon and I hate the ads you see saying 'call John/Jane on 1234567' cos I just think it's so sloppy and informal - that's what I get for being brought up so old fashioned! (When in doubt, blame it on your parents!)

Cabaal

Originally posted by xx
Try working in a call centre for 4 years!!! I did, and now I loath calling people I don't know.

I'm working in one for the past year, if anything it helps getting used to talking to freaks and muppets and some normal people

Cabaal

Originally posted by query
Stand up when you're on the phone

Might sounds stupid, but it works wonders!

Yeah basically you can breath alot better when standing compared to sitting down or other positions

jesus_thats_gre

Try working in a call centre for 4 years!!! I did, and now I loath calling people I don't know.

Doing the same now for 3 years too.... Has become too easy to get what you want from companies. So easy to twist things to they are in my favour.

Odly enough, I still dislike calling people I dont know. I think everyone feels somewhat uncomfy.