One-Liner Jokes

xlogo · 13-02-2022 3:11pm

Two old Communists relaxing at a nudist resort;

"Comrade, have you read Marx?"

"Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs"

MonkieSocks · 15-02-2022 11:09pm

I used to make sand castles with my grandfather until I was told to put the Urn back.

Victor · 16-02-2022 8:33am

https://twitter.com/Sarahjanecares/status/1493596361496973322

...

MonkieSocks · 17-02-2022 5:51am

"Are you aware that Thailand used to have a different name?"

"Yes, I am."

Deregos. · 19-02-2022 2:16am

My mechanic says he can tighten nuts & bolts while hes sitting on them . . . I reckon he's talking out of his arse.

MonkieSocks · 19-02-2022 5:53am

When i awoke this morning Storm Eunice was really gusting ,so i went and checked on the caravan in the back garden.

It wasn't there last night

MonkieSocks · 21-02-2022 8:16am

Caught my son playing with an electrical socket, had to ground him.

Capt'n Midnight · 21-02-2022 1:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118666255#Comment_118666255

Don't worry it's just a phase he's going though.

New Home · 21-02-2022 1:15pm

That's shocking!

Capt'n Midnight · 21-02-2022 1:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118666255#Comment_118666255

Thanks for keeping us updated on current events on real live down to earth parenting though I prefer a neutral option myself.

ballsdeep69 · 21-02-2022 4:58pm

What's pink and rusty - Madeline mc Canns bike

Deregos. · 21-02-2022 10:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118668437#Comment_118668437

Have to say, that's really unfunny and shows very poor taste in humour.

jj880 · 21-02-2022 11:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118669837#Comment_118669837

Total posts 233

Total thanks 1

Email address they use for job applications is ballsdeep69@madmail.com

Gant21 · 21-02-2022 11:10pm

This is a joke

Gant21 · 21-02-2022 11:10pm

MonkieSocks · 22-02-2022 6:17pm

Police have yet to identify the man who fell from the roof of a local nightclub last night but all they can say is he wasn’t a bouncer.

ballsdeep69 · 23-02-2022 11:48am

I noticed an old woman must have been in her 80s struggling at an ATM, as I was walking pass she softly spoke asking me "can you help me please", I said "sure thing love what's the problem" she was explaining she was having difficulty checking her balance,

being the kind soul I am i pushed her over, - She needs to work more on her balance

ballsdeep69 · 23-02-2022 11:49am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118670100#Comment_118670100

Hard luck

MonkieSocks · 23-02-2022 10:40pm

My housemate pranked me with a dead pheasant under my bed, does he think this is some kind of game?

barneygumble99 · 24-02-2022 8:30am

My mother was a librarian. When I was born I was two weeks overdue so I had to pay 20c.

xlogo · 24-02-2022 1:55pm

My mate said I wasn’t a true Cockney.

So I pushed him down the apples and oranges...

Gant21 · 24-02-2022 1:55pm

This is beyond a joke.

xlogo · 24-02-2022 3:12pm

I just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock.

It’s not the best job in the world, but it gets me out of the house.

xlogo · 24-02-2022 9:23pm

Just read a superb book about an immortal dog.

It was impossible to put down

Gant21 · 24-02-2022 9:25pm

I knew a joke once

RayCon · 25-02-2022 1:06pm

I'm surprised no physical harm has ever come to Bono, Larry Mullen or Adam Clayton cos when you think about it - they've been living close to The Edge for years.