One-Liner Jokes

Jay D

Being dyslexic has it's drawbacks, my friend once came to a toga party dressed as a goat.

admiralofthefleet

Corrugated roofs

They're groovy

whitey21

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

Corrugated roofs

They're groovy

Love It!:D

Doyler92

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

byrner88

i once saved someone from drowning. i took my foot off his head

Same As

Dwarf Shortage...!

I'm sweating like Joe Fritzl on Cribs!

admiralofthefleet

I've been addicted to Viagra lately.

It's been the hardest three weeks of my life



Have you heard about that new film about the tractor

I just saw the trailer

admiralofthefleet

My wife said im too immature and if I dont grow up its gonna erect a barrier between us.

Ha ha ha, erect



Welsh cheerleaders.

Putting the ''go, go, go'' into Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

Fabritzo

Sky have won the rights to the World Origami Championship. Unfortunately it's only on paper view.

dak

a man goes into a zoo.

it only had one dog.

it was a ****zu.

andy23

<snip>

andy23

<snip>

andy23

<snip>

BioHazRd

andy23 - you are not being funny. Please don't bother posting that type of stuff here - we are not 4chan. Consider this a friendly warning

bfcman

A midget covered in concrete? A little hard man

Who killed all the fish in the sea? Billy the Squid
Who killed Billy the Squid? Jack the Kipper
Who Killed Jack The Kipper? The Codfather

What Do you call acondom full of money? Johnny Cash

I'll get my coat:(

!

This is one from the local priest.

"A man walked into a bar.




ARRRRGGGHHH.


It was an iron bar"

bfcman

What do you call a woman with no arms? Helen

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Well not Helen

admiralofthefleet

All I got for my last birthday was a pack of sticky playing cards

I found it really hard to deal with

marcsignal

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson ??

Alex Ferguson will be playing gigs in August :pac:

fish fingers

Did you hear about the man with square balls??

He had cubic hair:o

thee glitz

A lady walks into a bar, asked for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one.

NH2909

Wife to husband lets do the missionary position, I stay here and you f**k
off to Africa

mink_man

marcsignal wrote: »

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson ??

Alex Ferguson will be playing gigs in August :pac:

no mj jokes!

dak

What's Irish and stays out all night........?





..
.
.




Patty O'Furniture


*************************************

What do you call the Irish inventor of walking through walls?







Patty O'Doors

NH2909

Proverb
"Never put a man down until you have walked a mile in his shoes"
That way you are a mile away from him and you have his shoes.

byrner88

last year i asked santa for something to wear and something to play with so he gave me a pair of jeans with a hole in one of the pockets

AdamusAdonis

Now, I've heard this is a Chinese Proverb, so if you appreciate that, then you'll see why it's so funny...


A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

NH2909

The beatings will continue until moral improves.

Whats pink and wobbly and hangs out your pj's?
Your Granny.

Whats does Bob Marley like in his doghnuts?
Jam'in.
And the Wailers?
Well I hope they like jam'in too.

Why was booze invented?
So ugly f***ers can get laid aswell.

Jay D

<snip> Post a joke, don't knock those already posted - Hagar <snip>

jc7

I don't know why Sir Alex Ferguson signed Michael Owen.

If he wanted a player who could consistently find the net, he should have signed Andy Murray.