Stutter - does it make a difference?

Oriel

Hey guys,

I have a stutter and was wondering, when meeting somebody for the first time, does it really make a difference if they have stutter?
Do you think any differently of them?
What about if somebody with a stutter started to chat you up (for the girls, obviously)?

Cheers,
Steve.

Sleipnir

it does at first. But, I don't think it takes people long to get used to it, a few seconds after they've figured out that you actually have a stutter and you're not mad at brush, most people will get over it quickly.
Anyway, I once knew a guy with permanant burns over 70% of his body including his face, can you imagine how tough it was for him to walk up to a girl in a club and ask her to dance? now that would be a tough life.

Seraphina

well it obviously depends on how bad it is, i wouldn't laugh, but i know if i had trouble understanding it would make me feel very uncomfortable talking to someone, i would hate to have to ask someone to keep repeating themselves. i wouldn't have a problem talking to someone with a stutter at all, i just might feel embarrassed if i couldn't hear them properly

DotPotty

I think that people tend to be uncomfortable about things if you are uncomfortable about them.
If you could look someone in the eye and say something about "this silly tongue of mine" or something along those lines, and smile about it, it would take the awkwardness out of the situation for both you and the other person.
Putting someone at ease by letting them know that a stutter is not a major issue, and that you can take it in your stride, means they are more likely to do the same.
Humour is a very powerful bridge-builder. Use it!

Caesar_Bojangle

Sinecure, stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking when you stutter. Frankly, if they have a problem with it they're not worth knowing in my humble opinion.

AngelofFire

man dont worry about it. i suffer from that condition myself i have gotten help for it but it creeps up every now and then particularily when im explainin stuff or tellin stories or jokes or someting. Most people dont mind it. as long as it doesnt look like ur nervous.

Oriel

Heh, don't get me wrong here - I stopping worrying about my stutter LONG ago. Hell, I'm always the first one to crack the jokes about! Sure if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

I was just interested to find out other people's opinion of stutters, but more importantly, how it affects the way that people would interact with that person.

But then it's different for other people - you know the old thing about not finishing off the person's sencentence? For me that's bollocks - it saves me a lot of breath!

My stutter gets better and worse, though generally it's not a bad one. I can go on forever and not stutter, but you get one person to simply ask me my name...Bam!

Steve.

Pigman II

I'd have to say it does make a differnce. Not in a 'hey! Don't you sound stupid?' way but moreso in a 'hey Limerick bogman. wtf language are you speaking mate?' kinda way.

Now whilst I can readily comprehend most English speaking accents (even Geordies for example aren't a bother to me) I do find people with stutters (and Limerick bogmen of course!) pretty tough to undertand sometimes.

seamus

When I get really uncomfortable, I'm on the verge of laughing hysterically, I don't know what it is. I was telling a girl one day that the mum of one her best mates had died, and I was holding myself from laughing, but that day really got to me, it brought home the whole "What if my mum died?" scenario to me.

It used to be the same with people with stutters. I'd be quite uncomfortable, almost laughing in their face. But then I spent an entire year in Irish class beside a guy with very bad stutters, especially while he was doing irish oral practice (in front of the whole class), it was really bad, I just kind of got used to it though. Now, I'll obviously notice when someone has a stutter, but it doesn't bother me at all.

I'd have no stigma towards them though. Except maybe if I was hiring for a call centre job

Caesar_Bojangle

he was doing irish oral practice (in front of the whole class),

There was a guy in my Irish and German classes this year. The same thing happened to him. I was actually cringing with empathy for him, but the bitch forced him to go on, which after 15 minutes he had struggled to answer one question. It was deteriorating the longer it went on, and sitting at the front of a classroom of 25 guys didn’t help the lad in addition to the teacher shouting at him “to hurry up, get the bloody words out” and then started to finish his sentences. He was on the brink of tears, I was actually about to stand up and tell her to fook off as the lad is one of the most down to earth guys I know. He didn’t deserve all the vexation caused by the teacher, with the leaving just weeks around the corner.

The Sweeper

Chatting to someone with a stutter wouldn't put me off them.

Although, I admit, if it's a bad stutter, I have to consciously stop myself trying to help complete the sentence or shout out the word myself like some idiotic version of 'Call My Bluff'. (Thankfully to date I have always stopped myself in time.) I don't think people notice as much as you'd think. Look at it this way, if someone gets bitchy and takes the piss out of you over it, you know straight up they're a wanker and not worth your time. That's not a bad bonus!

(Admittedly while chatting to someone with a stutter, I might not bring up the pros and priorities of pickling jalapeno peppers in puertorican penitentiaries as a conversation topic mind. Unless I was drunk and it was just as hard for me to say it.)

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

i usually have difficulty with a few words, but if I'm drunk or just not thinking about it it neve rhappens. the other day I asked the girl behind a shop for a slush p..p..p...


she just smiled and ask what flavour

some people are nice about it alright

bizmark

hey Steve

so m8 your not perfect no body is ........I thnk its great seeing the Irish europion member of parlament stand up and talk even with his stutter.Its not like its hard to understand whats being said he just takes a little longer saying it

i dont think it matters a damn

ColinM

One day, when I was in college, a gang of my mates were curiously very eager to introduce me to a friend of theirs. Their effusiveness did seem odd, but I said hello anyway and put out my hand to shake this person's hand. He opened his mouth slightly, and made a slight gasping noise. His complexion then went from red to white to a very alarming blue. He began rocking back and forth while clutching his arm. I assumed these were the symptoms of a heart attack. I did think though that it was unusual that he was still able to stand. I was a lifeguard at the time, and was prepared to give him CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation), provided I could be sure what was happening. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Are you ok???", I screamed repeatedly. I was beginning to panic as whatever was happening didn't seem to be getting any better, but something did not seem right. I began looking around the area in a panic, looking for I don't know what, but I knew there was something odd about the situation. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my friends standing very still, but shaking, as if trying to suppress laughter. "Why would they be laughing in a situation like this", I thought, "and why are they not helping me here?". Slowly the realisation dawned that I was actually dealing with the worst stammerer I would have ever thought possible, and had been making the situation far worse than anyone could have imagined by shaking the poor chap and screaming at him to ask if he was ok. That was a tricky escalation to descend from.
I hope you won't judge me too harshly when I tell you that I avoided him from that day on.

I heard that this same fellow used to have terrible problems on the phone. Often people would answer the phone, and hear someone at the other end choking and breathing heavily. People's mothers, sisters and girlfriends would assume that it was a pervert getting his kicks and hang up on him. When he would ring back to have another go and still not be able to make any noises other than some grunts and pants, people would scream down the line telling him he was a fvcking pervert and that they would call the police.

I'll bet that lad only ever uses text messaging now.

bizmark

i know i shouldnt say this colin m

but thats really really funny worthy of the humor board

ColinM

You should say it Bizmark, and I'm glad you found it funny, because it was meant to be funny. It is true though.

You see, people with problems don't want to be pitied or treated with "consideration". They want to joke about whatever affliction they have - it makes them feel human again.

Political Correctness can be defined as the elevation of politeness over common-sense. It makes you think you are a lovely person for "tolerating" other people, but there is an implied sense of superiority in the person doing the tolerating. Political Correctness prevents legitimate questions being asked, and thus prevents proper understanding. This is why Political Correctness is evil, and should not be tolerated itself!

bizmark

i agree the PC world we live in today is a bit of a joke

but i still dont like makeing fun of people i dont know (its different if i do)

Sangre

All depends on how bad it is.

People might think you're slow until they cop you have a stutter, which as you know might take around 30 seconds.

You never know, they might find it cute and endearing, that lost puppy factor.

LegacyUser

[edit: ****in muppet. << Fio >>]

MrHappy

My Sisters husband used to have a terrible stutter, and when he first came to the house (years ago), we did all notice (who wouldnt) but it doesnt make any difference, he doesnt stutter at all now....

One thing I felt a bit uncomfortbale with was I used to finsihed his sentenses, and only after I finished it, would I notice I actually finished it for him..... OOPs!

Stutter..schmutter...it doesnt make any difference.

Agent Smith

Originally posted by Sinecure
Hey guys,

I have a stutter and was wondering, when meeting somebody for the first time, does it really make a difference if they have stutter?
Do you think any differently of them?
What about if somebody with a stutter started to chat you up (for the girls, obviously)?

Cheers,
Steve.

look at bertie, man is a figurehead for the state and can barely string 2 words together

people have to adapt to it, nobody's perfect, i have a scar on my face (see after hours most painfull) and talking to girls can be a nightmare but even i fine it almost unbarable.


a mate i met last year, tom is 95% deaf, after 1 week i was so used to it i can undersand what he is saying so easly,

also gets him out of sticky suituations.

i.e last we were waking down kildare street wiith tom screaming at the top of his lungs, garda areests him for breech of the peace,
great, gard asks him his name and a "tuhosm" is replyed, garada had no idea about what he was on about, looks and asks me " is he one of them retarded one"

"no he's just deaf, he doesnt know how loud he is,

"you speak sign?" he asks.....

"yes officer", (handcuffs are on at this point)

"ok, tell him to be quite and head along home"




ahaha the system works

Dr Bolouswki

ahh that's interesting to hear about the finishing sentences thing - I never do it with a sometime mate of mine - I figure its better maybe to just be patient - sometimes though I'd whack him on the back when it's particularly bad and we'd both have a laugh about it...

someone mentioned earlier that its how YOU feel about it, I reckon thats the key...

BEAT

I went out with a guy who stuttered horribly actually, at first talking to him I thought about it, but I liked him so much and we got on so well that I hardley noticed it after awhile, u notice it, but you dont, ya know?
Dont let it get you down, he had a severe complex about his stuttering, but he was nice, funny, sexy, I cant say enough good things about.
He did however have a bad habit of cheating on his wife...oops
but I dont think the stuttering had anything to do with it

Victor

It doesn't make a whole lot of difference, it's mostly about both parties relaxing - if either gets excited about the stammer / stutter, then it is only likely to get worse. All it needs is an extra few seconds for the person to say what they want. Finishing the persons words / sentence only makes it worse.