Running out of things to talk about???

nesthead

Does it ever happen to anyone, when your talkin to girl (like em or not) that you just run out of things to talk about?

i hate having to resort to completely inane bull****, but then again you dont want to get into a discussion about the meaning of life or the existence of god or whatever.

also i cant really tell jokes......i just look around and make jokes at whats goin on or slag people off, which is a kind of humour that some people dont get.

anyway is it a sign that if both of you come to a dead stop in your conversation that you wouldnt really have a good relationship or anything?

anyone know any ways to escape from these quite embarassing situations?

lordsippa

It happens. Relationship wise, you know you're set when you don't mind the silences...

Things like films, books, etc can make ok to great conversation fillers depending on who you're talking to... always remember that...

Or forget it. No skin off my neck.

azezil

I'm exactally the same i hate small talk but i've found if you or your partner has something you feel passionately about u can talk about it for ages and your partner will listen intently, even if they've no interest

I find it rather pointless but small talk about the weather, something stupid that happened at work etc. is better than saying nothing at all. My current partner n I argue daily about me being so quiet, but i am making an effort to talk more, as much as it pains me to do so

WhiteWashMan

i think everyone goes through this at some stage or another in a relationship.
i think at some stage you have to remember that not everything you talk about with your partner has to be mind blowingly deep and meaningful. you can actually talk absolute rubbish to them, they way you do when you with your friends, because your partner is your friend (i hope!)

i remember i used to go about saying how i didnt do small talk. that i had no interest in it, but give me a good topic of conversation, and id havea great old chat. well, thats because i couldnt do small talk. its a skill. learning how to talk shíte really is an art.
but whats to stop you talking about the everyday humdrum stuff in life?
weather?
sport?
your day at the office?
college?
friends?
computers?
boards.ie?
the fact that one of your socks is inside out?

for me, it was really just being nervous about what i was saying. once you get over those nerves, you start to relax and talk about anything, bit like after a few pints, or talking to someone you grew up with. i bet you have no problem in those situations.


as for being quiet, well, theres a difference with being a quiet person, and being non communitive. if some said i was quiet, id tell them to fúck off

Lump

I tend to find that if you can start talking about something general... common friends, work related stuff. then it branches out into a massive conversation. about everything really, if its a two way conversation then the possibilities are endless. If it's just a conversation where you're talking to her well you're fúcked. Include her and it'll all be good. And if you aren't getting any response from her will then she is A) BOring as fúck DOesn't want anything to do with you. C) So far up her own arse you don't want anything to do with her anyway.



John

Tusky

get drunk with her and you wont run out of things to talk about... OR do somthing...game or activity - that gets the conversation going

Doodee

Originally posted by azezil
I'm exactally the same i hate small talk but i've found if you or your partner has something you feel passionately about u can talk about it for ages and your partner will listen intently, even if they've no interest

I find it rather pointless but small talk about the weather, something stupid that happened at work etc. is better than saying nothing at all. My current partner n I argue daily about me being so quiet, but i am making an effort to talk more, as much as it pains me to do so

exactly, theres always those awkward silences, thats when the tv comes in handy

no, just have to find a topic of discussion that you both find interesting, but if its some random burd you meet in a nightclub, then sometimes they dont talk for a reason

Originally posted by Eamoooo!

i think everyone goes through this at some stage or another in a relationship.
i think at some stage you have to remember that not everything you talk about with your partner has to be mind blowingly deep and meaningful. you can actually talk absolute rubbish to them, they way you do when you with your friends, because your partner is your friend (i hope!)

indeed, they are meant to be

El Marco

There is a simple way out. Just laugh and mention the silence and then a conversation about the silence arrises and KAPOW the conversation is flowing again.

Crash

Never talk about the weather. you know you're ****ed when you bring up the weather. i cringe any time it comes into the conversation.

xx

Originally posted by nesthead
Does it ever happen to anyone, when your talkin to girl (like em or not) that you just run out of things to talk about?

anyone know any ways to escape from these quite embarassing situations?

If I run out of things to say, I start to take the pi$$ out of them. I'm a good talker and can chat for ireland, so about the only reason I'd be running out of things to talk about is if the other person was boring or a crap conversationalist. Rip the pi$$ out of 'em and that really gets the ball rolling again :-)

Pigman II

I don't suppose you ever thought about letting her do a little of the work herself?

Most guys seem to think when talking to a woman that they have to be 'on' and if they let the 'entertainment' drop for 5 seconds or more that the lady in question will walk out the door rather than string more than two words together to retort your recent onslaught of 'charm'.

And why don't you want a discussion to turn into 'meaning of life or the existence of god or whatever' you might find if both of you actually had some opinions on the matter that it'd make a lot more interesting conversation than 'so how about that weather?' or 'did you see such and such on tv last night?'

But if you really don't like those long uncomfortable silences then how about employing the old reliable 'pull my finger!'

DriftingRain

If I am with a boyfriend and there is an ackward silence, I turn over and give him a kiss. Either it will lead to other things or it will strike up a more intresting conversation.;)

Hobbes

Sometimes it is good to enjoy each others silence. ^^

Bottle_of_Smoke

Or somthing like - "So.... awkward silences...." safer in a group silence tho

nuvolari

ask a completely random question. anything from what colour socks are you wearing to whats the best thing thats ever happened to you.

sionnach

yeah i use teh completely out of teh blue and off the current subject question to keep a conversation going, ones like "if you could teleport neplace in the world right now for five minutes where would it be and why?" it usually leads into a gr8 conversation

nesthead

ask a completely random question.

perfect! best bit of advice out of the lot of ya, be definatly doin that!

Sarky

I find that "So, how about those rainbow suspenders? Pretty cool way to keep your pants up..." works quite well. My girlfriend either laughs a little or smacks me across the back of the head and tells me to stop saying that. Either way, we get talking again...:)

The silence shouldn't be awkward. Sometimes it's nice to just sit back and relax. Personally, I love it. Looking at someone for a while is nice too. Only it disturbs people if you keep it up for long...

koneko

How long you two are together will influence those moments aswell.

We don't have awkward silences. We can talk for hours about anything and everything. Other times we just like being in each others company and not saying much at all.

You get to a point where you feel comfortable around eachother and you don't feel like you need to fill the gaps. It's a really great feeling, being that comfortable and happy. It helps to have common interests, ideas and feelings about things. Same wavelength etc.

Peace

"Friends are people who can be silent together."

It s a quote from an author...i did a quick google but couldn't find the name (anyone?).

My point is, if you try and keep the conversation going and going all the time then it will turn out to be too much hard work.

Sometimes quiet reflection together can be a welcome break, you never know....she might be sick and ired of your endless droning on about nothing?

nuvolari

Originally posted by nesthead
perfect! best bit of advice out of the lot of ya, be definatly doin that!

glad to help. good way to find out strange factoids about your friends

Dr Bolouswki

Stop trying? Be natural and you'll be surprised at the crap you can come out with...

JohnnyBravo

Try talking about sex everybody has got it in common

Mick L

"Friends are people who can be silent together."

It s a quote from an author...i did a quick google but couldn't find the name (anyone?).

It's from 'Philadelphia here I come' by Brian Friel

Trojan

Perhaps you could just try to be a more interesting person.

Havelock

Nah, sometime those lulls are great, you just sit and cuddle close together in silence and enjoy it. I do that, its nice. Just enjoy being near the other person. Maybe admire them silently and remember how lucky you are to have such an wonderful person in your life. Now if only I could learn to shut up so I could enjoy it more often!