Caesar

gollem_1975 · 15-08-2003 11:17am #1

Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Coliseum.
"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our
glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France.
We
shall kill many Gauls and return victorious."
The crowd are up on their feet
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"
Brutus turns to his mate and says
" He doesn't half talk some sh1te eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a
wet parchment bag."
Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and
addresses
the crowd in the Coliseum.
"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in
France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls".
The crowd is up on their feet again.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar". Brutus once again turns to
his mate
"I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off to France to check this out."
So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks
later he comes back to Rome. Caesar is addressing the public in the
Coliseum again
"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we
are going to sort those bastards out"
The crowd is up on their feet.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"
Brutus jumps up and shouts,
"Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had
killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and
you
only killed 25,000!!!!"
The crowd is stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and
looks
slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says,

"Brutus, you are forgetting one thing... Away Gauls count double in
Europe."