Becoming A Parent!

memphis

Hi there,

I'm not a parent, nor am I anyway near becoming one. To be honest I'm single and still virgin at 22. I'm a person that has strict morals about sex before marriage, probably drummed into me by my religious parents.

My question here is what age do you think is the ideal age to settle down and start having a family. I'm 22 at present (male) and have had a big desire to have my own kids for sometime. I have secretly always loved kids, I think there cute, have such innocent minds, and can so easily amuse themsleves.

I'd ideally like to marry and be a Dad by the time I'm 28... IDEALLY!

So, what age is your ideal age for becoming a parent? And please state if your Male or Female, I wanna see bout angles.

Cheers,
Memphis

Carnate

Well. tbh, it takes two to become parents,

The right time is when you are both ready IMHO.


Im became a dad at 36, and have another one due very soon,

Please dont think im pro sex before marraige or anti sex till marraige, Its a personal choice and as such i dont have a stance either way.


Im Happily Married Now (2nd time for me). And we started a family because we wanted a Family.

Hope this Helps

Shilo

Memphis, take it from me, there is no such thing as the ideal time to have kids. I defy anyone to find the perfect home, emotional and financial situation to bring kids into because, frankly, I don't believe such a thing exists!

I have two little ones. The first, commonly known as Sprog, was born Nov. 2001 when I was a few days short of hitting 24. The second, most commonly known as Shrimp, was born this May, when I was 25.5! Being a parent is pretty much the weirdest, best, most terrifying, fantastic and infuriating thing ever. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that it's never entirely like you thought it would be.

I always thought I'd get married and have my first child at about 26. But it turns out that life doesn't always go according to plan! Hence, Sprog arrived when I was 23, my other half and I got married when I was 24 and Shrimp arrived when I was 25, just a few days short of our first wedding anniversary.

Until you find that SOMEONE to have your children with, however, I wouldn't sweat it. It's very easy to find someone to fall in love with but it's a different thing finding someone that you'd want to have kids with. I've fallen in love maybe three times in my short life and only 1 of them was worth considering as a father!

When you find someone you can respect, depend on, who you know you like as a person, (aside from just loving them), someone maybe with the same kind of background as you and soemone who you can agree on the big things about, then - and only then - think about bringing children into the equation. It's not like we planned on having ours when we did, but it was okay because we had all the basics covered, relationship-wise.
Having children puts huge pressure on a relationship and you need to be as sure as you can be that you can handle it, both individually and as a couple.

So, like I say, I don't think there's ever a perfect time but there are some things that can make the whole thing a little easier. And then, just see how it all goes as time goes on. Life normally gives us what we need, when we need it, I've found!

Good luck.

Practical

I have secretly always loved kids, I think there cute, have such innocent minds, and can so easily amuse themsleves.

ok......

Eden

I became a mum when I was twenty, and it was JUST the right time for my partner and I. We love our little lady so much, and couldn't possibly imagine life without her. What I used to consider priorities seem so dull and inane when I look back at my life before I met my partner and started our family.
There's no way you can possibly put a time or ideal age on having kids. If it happens at all, it happens when it happens! And hopefully, you'll be ready for it.

chill

Originally posted by memphis
My question here is what age do you think is the ideal age to settle down and start having a family. I'm 22 at present (male) and have had a big desire to have my own kids for sometime.

As someone else said there is no perfect age. You may feel that you are ready but you will have to wait until 'she' is ready too.

I would offer the advice that I believe you should have five years or so after you get married before you have kids. You need time to develop together and to have fun together and get to know each other. Too many couple have kids too quick and carry a resentment against society and yes against their kids for losing the chance to have fun.

I have secretly always loved kids, I think there cute, have such innocent minds, and can so easily amuse themsleves.

You've got to be kidding with the last comment ! Some kids can amuse themslves, but MANY MANY cannot. It depends on how they are treated in the first few months and on their own nature. When I was a kid I couldn't amuse myself for 2 minutes, but my son has always be terrific at amusing himself.

I'd ideally like to marry and be a Dad by the time I'm 28... IDEALLY!

Sounds good. But not if you get married at 27... imho. I'm a guy btw.