Contour integrals

pooka

What's the contour integral around western europe?

Zero! Most of the Poles are in eastern europe, and those in the west are removable.

Cian, lowering the tone.

ecksor

Hey, what's purple and commutes?

An Abelian grape!

Imposter

Oh dear...

This should be moved to humour just to see what sort of reaction it gets!

Nietzschean

Dear god, i feel very sad for actually getting those jokes :rolleyes:

Imposter

Originally posted by ecksor
Hey, what's purple and commutes?

An Abelian grape!

And I thought it was Barney on a bus!

Raskolnikov

Originally posted by Serialkiller
Dear god, i feel very sad for actually getting those jokes :rolleyes:

Does that include yourself :cool: Here's one


Why do truncated McLaurin Series fit the original function so well?

Because they are tailor made!

pooka

I'm starting to regret this. ;o)

Cian

Man U babe

*me feels like nerd*:ninja:

What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had
him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other
patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!",
but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his
energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other
man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE
YOU!"
The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the x."


How mathematicians do it...

Combinatorists do it as many ways as they can.
Combinatorists do it discretely.
(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
Logicians do it by symbolic manipulation.
Algebraists do it in groups.
Algebraists do it in a ring.
Algebraists do it in a field.
Analysts do it continuously.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.
Topologists do it openly.
Topologists do it on rubber sheets.
Dynamicists do it chaotically.
Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.

Cantor did it diagonally.
Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn't fit it in.
Galois did it the night before.
Möbius always does it on the same side.
Markov does it in chains.
Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants.
Turing did it but couldn't decide if he'd finished.

GuanYin

This is up there with the "Models Required" post.....


I need to lie down...

Tree

Why are amoeba crap at maths?

coz they multiply by dividing!!

(i should be shot)

Sev

A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leaps towards the sink, fills the bucket with water and puts out the fire. The next day, the same two are sitting again in the lounge. Again, the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, gets a bucket, hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.

Capt'n Midnight

one and one makes three

constipated maths guy - worked out with a pencil

BSC - Bullsh1t
MSC - More Sh1t
PHD - Pilled Higher and Deeper

Recently I went into a carpark in Tallaght - and circled the square.

When Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply - two little snakes stayed with him - so he told them again - but they said "but we're adders"

Anyone got numbers for calcualtors ?
710 773h5
57738 57734

disco_rob_funk

this one's right up your alley, skipper!

what do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?








nothing!

...everyone knows you can't cross a scalar!

HA! HA! HA!

RC

ecksor

Or, what do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can't cross a scalar with a vector.

I can't believe I haven't told my absolute favorite maths joke yet!

Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.