Sex (a womans opinion)

Introspective

Hey, long time reader, first time poster.

Just wondering, I have a girl friend and we are very happy and in love. As consenting adults we make love often. Now we aren't boring in it or what ever, I'd just rather not share the exact details of our relationship. But I am wondering if I am being as competent as possible a lover. I seem to satify her, and she says she enjoys it, and I've had other lovers, but I've never wondered could I be better with them. Shes wonderful and I want her to be as happy as possible. How can I get her to tell me what she likes/dislikes, her fantasies and how to get her to tell me what she wants me to do. Its not too bad of a worry at present but I really hate being stressed, so any opinions would be appricated.

Sleepy

Try bringing it up when you're having a bottle of wine in bed or something similar to that... works pretty well...

Another good way to find out things that she'd like you to try is to try text sex. You'll be surprised at what she'll come out with over a text message!

patch

Well, I'm not a doctor, but you could just ask her. Nobody on here can tell you what your chick likes in bed. I hope.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Introspective
Hey, long time reader, first time poster.

Just wondering, I have a girl friend and we are very happy and in love. As consenting adults we make love often. Now we aren't boring in it or what ever, I'd just rather not share the exact details of our relationship. But I am wondering if I am being as competent as possible a lover. I seem to satify her, and she says she enjoys it, and I've had other lovers, but I've never wondered could I be better with them. Shes wonderful and I want her to be as happy as possible. How can I get her to tell me what she likes/dislikes, her fantasies and how to get her to tell me what she wants me to do. Its not too bad of a worry at present but I really hate being stressed, so any opinions would be appricated.

i understand the fact that may be worried about your sexual performances, and worried about how satisfied your girlfriend is. im sure there are many women out there who wish they had someone as thoughtful and caring a lover as you.
however, im not too sure anyone here can answer your questions.
you see, as much as well abelieve we know it all, no one here knows your girlfriend. so we cant really give you an answer can we? i mean, do you think you could answer the same thing about anyone else girl here? shouldnt think so.
the only thing you can do, is try to have an open and trusting relationship with your partner. if she does not want to communicate intimate details to you, then thats her right not to say. she may be embarrassed, but thats something you both have to work on. theres no 'sure fire' method of getting infomration out of her, short of interrogation. and i dont think she would appreciate that.
what you can try is to initiate some conversation about fantasies you have and tell her about them. she may then wish to share some of hers, but you have to open yourelf first, and be prepared for the fact that she isnt into lesbo dwarf fisting action.

i am interested in the fact that right of you want to tell us that you arent boring. as far as i can see to be honest, you are worried that you are boring. that you are crap in bed, and that you are not fulfilling her sexual needs.
the female orgasm isnt the be all and end all of sex, as the male orgasm isnt. theres lots to do there, and its not all about shooting your load. if you feel she needs to orgasm, then get her to show her how she does it on her own, and try to emulate. the average joe soap opn the street does not have a sex life like a porn flick (although, she might like cameras, you never know!)

so if it feels good and she doesnt mind, enjoy. ask her what she wants, do stuff and ask her if she likes it. ask her if she wants stuff done differently, and be prepared to do anything yourself, that you might ask her to do. remember, its about trust and honesty and openess.

or, in the words of sex and the city...

'you gotta give head, to get head'

Yavvy

Hrmm...the others are right, honesty and all that stuff..But If I understand you correctly, you have asked about your sexing style and she is saying everything is fine..

So the idea is to get her to open up a little more and tell you what she would like to try..

maybe rent a good sex guide...or I think channel 4 might be running some program like that now...I know sky used to have one called "better sex"

Other than that ...get her really pissed have wild sex and record it ...you can have a sort of post sex analysis and decide what she really liked and what was ok

claire h

This site, dedicated to "the sexual health and pleasure of women" may be useful.

But, yeah, the talking to her option seems like a good idea. (Because honestly, if you can't *talk* about sex you really shouldn't be having it, y'know? )

Nevyn

Does she read at all ? Could it be there are a few black lace books hidden in her bed room ?
if not why not go buy a few, the can be a good giggle and read to each other and that may spark off the converstion to differnt approaches or games.

skipn_easy

Buy a book on kama-sutra and try reading through it together, trying things out if she's up for it.

Havelock

I'd agree with Whitewash, you need to talk. Most women guard their desires as they are too personal, or they are afraid that the fantasy will no longer hold its fantasy status. If she had a problem she would raise the issue, all the women I know would tell their lover, or make suggestions if they thought they were missing something. Relax.

Maybe buy a book or download something. Failing all that, drug her with a truth syrum and ask her, thought you may not like the answer.

OLDYELLAR

just ask her , i asked my fella one night for the craic and its really interesting and since u`ve already slept with her she wont be creeped when you ask her . it`l be worth it on way more dan a sexual level too , it makes ya really get to know the person.

echomadman

MAUDE: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?

DUDE: Excuse me?

MAUDE: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?

DUDE: I was talking about my rug.

MAUDE: You're not interested in sex?

DUDE: You mean coitus?

MAUDE: I like it too. It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.

DUDE: Oh, no.

MAUDE: Yes Mr. Lebowski, these unfortunate souls cannot love in the true sense of the word.

Not entirely on topic nut the first thing i thought of when i read the title

po0k

mount floppy /dev

smiles

Originally posted by SyxPak
mount floppy /dev

Intro to redbrick consisted of the "getting to grips with" (according to the instructor) the following:

nice man
nice man woman
touch
nice touch
unzip
finger
mount
make love
unmount
zip

<< Fio >>

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

DapperGent

All those above are making all kinds of sense.

On pretty crude level (used in tandem with the other nice stuff above) if you want to get her to tell you her fantasies and what she'd like like you to be doing - get drunk and talk about it. Make it a two way thing and be a bit subtle.

In vino veritas after all.

Havelock

snip

chunga_monster

Maybe she will be too shy to tell you if you ask her, so I suggest that YOU tell her what new things you would like to try, next time your making love.
If she likes it she will tell you so. If she doesnt, you will be left in no doubt whatsoever!
Either way, it will open up dialogue for you both.

Questuon? Do you tell her YOUR fantasies?...just a thought

Beruthiel

Originally posted by chunga_monster
Questuon? Do you tell her YOUR fantasies?...just a thought

be careful with that one though, don't blurt every single one of them out all together, you might have her running for the door faster than you can say will robinson! tell her one or two to start with till you see the lie of the land....

Heresy

Agree with whats being said. Hope I'm not reiterating.

How can I get her to tell me what she likes/dislikes, her fantasies and how to get her to tell me what she wants me to do.

What would be wrong with just asking her?
I think though, if she really, really loved you, she'd have told you the answer without you having to ask.
I'm not saying she doesn't, maybe she's shy or covert about these things??
Can

loismustdie

she could be feeling the same way as you and if you're able to put it in words to ask us surely you can do the same with her. you should probably bring up the subject after having sex, when you're lying in bed and bein all nice to each other, you feel close so you'll talk openly - and it'll probably even make ya's go for seconds!!!

Typedef

Originally posted by smiles
Intro to redbrick consisted of the "getting to grips with" (according to the instructor) the following:

nice man
nice man woman
touch
nice touch
unzip
finger
mount
make love
unmount
zip

<< Fio >>

renice -19 -u sendmail && cat /home/gurl/.private > /tmp/file && tar cvfz /tmp/file.tar.gz /tmp/file && sendmail -e /tmp/file.tar.gz typedef@bastards.org > /dev/null 2>&1