Quiet Spot!

MikeS

Ok all ye guys out there i need some info...Heres the scene: Ya come home from an all night party TOTALLY BURSTING for a P1ss...ya open the door nice an easy and creep up da stairs....open da door to the Loo real slowley and no one hears ya...thats until ya start to P1ss...Then ALL HELL breaks loose!...ffs what kept ya till now...yer drunk again aint ya!! ya bludy woke up da kids ! who were ya wit? etc etc etc etc.... Ok so this is what i want to know from all ye guys out there and its a simple Question....Is there a 'QUIET' spot on a loo ya can aim at and hit (well most times) that makes no noise ?

MikeS

juNkie

naw sure fuk it man, fuk the jax like, **** on the bush before u go in.

Cheez

No you creep up the stairs slip,fall,knock yourself oncoscious(yea i can't spell) and wake up realiseing that u have a sore head and you ****ed your pants while up were asleep

Maximilian

Just **** on the carpet downstairs.
Do you have a dog?

Blade

Mikes just **** in the sink, makes no noise and u don't need to flush the jacks either!

Blade

Fing

Mikes, take a slash on the duvet, that'll really p!ss her off

Fing

Vexorg

Lads ure all disgusting... the man needs help and u just give these sort of answers.


Mikes,
1) just peel back the foreskin (if applicable obviously doesnt apply if you are a round head), and hold firmly ( dont sqeeze its will increase the pressure of flow)

2) bend your knees as if someone just clasped in the wrinkley sack and lean slightky foreward over the bowl.

3) aim at a 45 degree angle at the side of the bowl halfway between the lip and the watermark.

4) take a test shot to ensure that your aim is true if not try again until you have it right and then let her rip.

5) as the pressure tails off lean slighlty away from the bowl so that the last drops hit the sides at the front of the bowl and hold that position.

6) While holding that position, shake the last few drops off.

And now for the best part.. dont fliush the toilet but put the seat back down gently.

In the morning no one will suspect you as the lid will be down.

Let me know how u get on...

I would however recommend that you try it in the urinals in the pub before you go home or in someone elses house until you aim is up to scratch...

Dupre

Chuck some bog roll into the jax before you go

KrPtoRChiLD

concentrate on the pressure of the **** comin out....ease her ..try to stop the flow slightly..that way it doesnt fire out the **** like fukkin power hose
the key areas are just above the water level since most of the noise is from the splash noise the sides just above the water ( about 4 inches or so above should work i think)
JUST AVOID THE SPLASH AND THE POWER IS YOURS ! GOOD LUCK

MikeS

Well having read all the above replies i have to vote Vex the WINNER!!!!!!! Fair play mate that reeally worked great and i had plenty of practice all w-end and its working a treat now. Good on ya!!!! BRB going for a 'P' hehehehe

MikeS

Kali

hey Vex.. you kneel in front of the pub urinals??? **** i wouldn't recommend that.
you mite catch something.

harVey

yeah like a good kick in the head

Vexorg

Hey Kali

I dont practice the above ritual, in fact its quite the opposite for me, if i dont make lots of noise when doing a number 1, I'm accused of missing the bowl altogether and ****ing on the floor.

I must say now that its was not me who made the wet spot on the floor - its was the dog i swear.

As for kneeling in fromt of urinals

1) i dont cos other peoples dogs **** on the floor in pubs also, so if I did I would get my knees wet and I dont like that.

2) You would know it was me in the pub urinals cos I lean back agaist the wall opposite the urinal of my choice and aim from there. You see I am a real man ... so take it...

Kali

i just end up with my head in them gettin sick from 6 pints of guinness and two tequilas
hehe
ppl bring there dogs to the pub?
*******s said they wouldn't serve mine.
tho she ain't that beat down haha