Falling for wrong girl!!!

LegacyUser

Ok I've fallen for this girl she's really nice we get on better than I have ever got on with any of my previous girlfriends. But theres a few problems:

Shes English and shes living there as well, so if anything serious was to start one of us would have to move and since shes a teacher she couldn't do that easily plus shes an only child and it would kill her parents if she moved.

The fact that shes english and I'm Irish could have problems in the future because I'm very proud of my culture and so is she, so jokingly we talked what our kids would be like, I said they'd have to have Irish passports and support Ireland, she said they'd have to have english passports and support england.

She's not really into sex that much, I don't mean never like we done it 3 times in the one night when I was last over, but shes only interested every second or third day which probably isn't that bad, but it's a big change to my last Girlfirend who i was with for 2 years we done it almost twice everyday, and when she wasn't in the humour she humour me if you know what i mean but this new girl won't touch me if shes not in the humour.

All in all I probably shouldn't think about getting into a relationship but I'm falling for her very quickly. All my friends only think I'm with her coz she's so good looking.

Any advice, and if you want to make smart comments go do it some where they will be appreciated. Thanks

Red Alert

How far has this relationship progressed? Moving here or back there wouldn't necessairly be an issue if you aren't going out that long.

I wouldn't worry too much about the kids and passports until the time comes. You could both agree that they'll have the passport of where they were born and that would decide it for both of you.

And lastly some girls like sex more than others - 'fraid nothing can be done about this one.

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Red Alert
How far has this relationship progressed? Moving here or back there wouldn't necessairly be an issue if you aren't going out that long.

And lastly some girls like sex more than others - 'fraid nothing can be done about this one.

Only about 2 months but it moving quite fast, well you see I'm living in ireland at the moment and always have so moving over would be a big move, plus I'm only in my first job out of college in I.T. so haven't got much experience to travel with me for job hunting.

BTW shes 24 i'm 22.

I know that not all womens sex drives are the same but it's just hers is a lot lower than mine

b3t4

First mistake - talking about kids after 2mnths.
Second mistake - comparing her to your ex. Your not going out with your ex for a reason right??

Its a new relationship it probably seems great as you are only seeing her every so often also it is only 2mnths. If you moved over there would ye live together?? The relationship may loose its appeal.

At the end of the day I can't make the decision for you. It's either a case of grab the bull by the horn and move to England or stay here. Whichever way, I' d wait till I was with the person a bit longer before making those decisions.

A.

Beruthiel

I wonder way you need advice? Something is bothering you….

First off, making any kind of decision after 2 months is mad imo
You’re already talking about kids! Where’s the fire???

Relationships go through phases, right now you’re in your honeymoon phase so to speak, wait 6 months, see how you feel then.

However, you are right to have some concerns about your sexual libidos, if they are miles apart then that can eventually turn into a problem and bearing in mind that they are more intense at the beginning of a relationship, this could get worse for you.
relax, slow down, see what happens

michaelanthony

Why is it necessary to post your mating habits here.

Beëlzebooze

go, go to the UK, what have you to lose? nothing. If it doesn't work out with her, you might still build a nice cosy life for yourself there, otherwise come back, or go elswhere.

as far as work experienceis concerned, don't worry about it, college graduates in the UK have the same experience you have, nada.

we are only talking the UK here, it's not a million miles away.

billymeehan

Nah ditch her - had the same situation a few years ago.

1. She lives in the UK - too much hassle and you'll end up spending a fortune.

2. If you think her sex drive is bad now just think what it'll be like a year down the line when the comfort zone kicks in.

3. You talked about kids after 2 months - are you insane!!

The fact that she didn't run away screaming like a banshee means that she's bound to end up a bunny boiler.

Havelock

After 2 months your discussing kids in a way that could lead to an arguement. If your afraid that you are only attracted to her physically, then the diffrence in your sex drives in going to be a big problem. Just go with flow lightly for the moment, and in 6 months see where you are. Don't move or even consider it until you know you are in love (about Feb).

LegacyUser

Thanks for all advice.

We didn't talk about kids in any serious way it came about coz we were joking about my nephew wearing an Irish jersey and I said that all my kids would too etc etc.

I know it seems it's moving to fast and it probably is but I'm falling for her very quickly.

If I do move if wouldn't be till the new year or even march.

One worry I have is shes 24 and all her friends are either engaged or getting near it, I think she might look for this relationship to move faster than I want. I wouldn't dream of getting engaged for 3 years.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Decisons

We didn't talk about kids in any serious way it came about coz we were joking about my nephew wearing an Irish jersey and I said that all my kids would too etc etc.

yes, but to you its an issue. in fact, its one of the first things you pointed out. if you are changing your mind about it, then you really havent communicated much with each other methinks.

Originally posted by Decisons

I know it seems it's moving to fast and it probably is but I'm falling for her very quickly.

no you arent.
you just think abuot shagging. i bet you havent thought about hugging her, or getting her a lemsip when shes got a big red runny nose or walking in the park in winter.
i bet you just think about taking her every which way and reliving your 3 times a night sex romp!

Originally posted by Decisons


If I do move if wouldn't be till the new year or even march.

why?

what exactly have you got to lose?

what is it that you are afraid of?

why would you move to another country for someone after 2 months?
(yeah, ive done worse, but im just curious to know)

Originally posted by Decisons

One worry I have is shes 24 and all her friends are either engaged or getting near it, I think she might look for this relationship to move faster than I want. I wouldn't dream of getting engaged for 3 years.

then why would you move over?
if the girl wants a relationship, and you talk about it moving quickly, then what are you doing in it.

you dont have a clue what you want do you?
i mean, you are all over the place. you want to be with her, but not to commit to her.
you want sex twice a day, because you seem to think you will find the time to fúck that often? dont you have any hobbies?
why cant you ****?

get your head together. do yourself an honest pros and cons chart and put down everything that you feel you need to put down on either side. try to be objective and try to be honest.
i dont think you will find that you love her.
you might be excited by something new, and you might be in lust, and you might be in love with the idea of a new place, new people, new country etc.
sometimes, all these exciting new things can make you think the weirdest of things.
hell, i nearly moved to leeds after knowing a girl for 2 weeks.
luckily i changed my mind and went to surrey instead

The Sweeper

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
hell, i nearly moved to leeds after knowing a girl for 2 weeks.

DONT YOU DARE MENTION THAT SLAPPER TO ME!!!






...this week, I shall be mostly imitating WWMan's ex girlfriend...


Seriously, original poster, you sound like you're trying to talk yourself out of this relationship. You sound completely daunted by the differences between you in geography, culture, race and libido. I'm not that sure that you like this girl enough to get over those issues right now.

I doubt you'd be that capable of stringing her along with the Irish sea between you, but keep it like that, don't do anything rash like emigrating straight off.

Oh - and another thing - I live in the UK, and I tell you that the attitude of a 24 year old English girl to marriage is UTTERLY different than that of a 24 year old Irish girl. They're big into marriage in their early twenties over here - perhaps because divorce is legal. Whereas in Ireland you shack up with your missus and live in glorious sin at that age until you're sick of each other and split up after, on average, two years - in the UK you've married that person and now you're heading toward being another broken family statistic.

..danger Will Robinson, danger...

LegacyUser

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
yes, but to you its an issue. in fact, its one of the first things you pointed out. if you are changing your mind about it, then you really havent communicated much with each other methinks.

No I just meant it wasn't a major issue just something that was talked about in passing more as a joke than anything.

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan

no you arent.
you just think abuot shagging. i bet you havent thought about hugging her, or getting her a lemsip when shes got a big red runny nose or walking in the park in winter.
i bet you just think about taking her every which way and reliving your 3 times a night sex romp!
.

I'm afraid your wrong I do think about hugging her and looking after her. But sex is a part of any adult relationship and I was saying that I think it may cause issues in the futher.

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan

why?
what exactly have you got to lose?
what is it that you are afraid of?
why would you move to another country for someone after 2 months?
(yeah, ive done worse, but im just curious to know)
.

Give up my Job my life over here which I enjoy including my friends.
I wouldn't move after 2 months I wouldn't move till next march or so.

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan

then why would you move over?
if the girl wants a relationship, and you talk about it moving quickly, then what are you doing in it.
.

I'd like a realtionship but not one that involves engagement yet.


Thanks for tha advice WhitWashMan

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Decisions

Thanks for tha advice WhitWashMan

hmm, didnt think there was any advice.

just think you should think about it because you are giving several mixed signals.

mr_angry

I'd go for it. Of course its a risk, but it sounds like its worth taking. True happiness doesn't come along very often.

Anyway, if it doesn't work out, and you have to come back, what have you lost?

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by mr_angry4
I'd go for it. Of course its a risk, but it sounds like its worth taking. True happiness doesn't come along very often.

Anyway, if it doesn't work out, and you have to come back, what have you lost?

A job? Alot of money? Possibly friends? Come back to sign on the dole.

You're right he should go immediately.