bringing a 15 year old girl to a debs ball.

Boston

Friend of mine is bringing a 15 year old girl as his date to our debs ball, personally i think its extremely fuked up. The lads in our year, while sound enough, can be at times violent, abusive, extremely aggresive and very criminal. Mix in a night of booze and i wouldn't expose a 15 year old girl to it. I know all this crap about girls maturing faster then boys, but basically 15 year old girls are stupid, no offence but then are neive, a 19 year old man show abite of attention, put on the charm and bang pergnant. Also what type of perents lets their 15 year old daughter go to a debs with a 19 year old to party all night long.

Beruthiel

Also what type of perents lets their 15 year old daughter go to a debs with a 19 year old to party all night long

ones that don't give a crap?

Peaadina

maybe shes just as bad??!! LOL no your right it is weird and a possible receipe for disaster but as u say her parents are ok or maybe they just dont know.
You could keep an eye on her and if things get rough then u could pack her off in a taxi, but then she might well b able to hold her own!!

Kali

Err do you know her? Perhaps shes a lot more mature than you realise... when I was that 19 I went on the piss (albiet in a minder sort of role) reguarly with girls that age, and there was nothing wrong with it... nor did the parents have any problems with the girls drinking and staying out.

Then again if your mate is actually going around saying "hey its cool im bringing a 15yr old" then theres something rather messed up there.

And btw.. your "15 year old girls are stupid, no offence but then are neive" comment is way off the mark.. but then again if your sense of intelligence and maturity is becoming "violent, abusive, extremely aggresive and very criminal." then who am i to judge.

But hey go ahead and make the situation worse, which you will do (and have already started), by telling everyone on the night that "see her shes only 15, must be a slapper" to everyone you meet.... very mature

Havelock

Kali has the right idea, the concept that all 15 year old girls are slappers for going out with 19 year olds or going out on the piss etc is riduculas. Ok some girls are more mature and others are less, but at 15 I (a boy) knew many girls with boyfriends of 19-24 who threated them with the upmost respect. I had friends of that age to, who I would regularly go out socially with. There were never any problems. Now the fact you go around besmurching this girls reputation before shes even had a chance is not nice. If you are really concerned keep an eye out on your friends date and she is need of help offer it.

Typedef

Look.

Debating the merits of allowing 15 year old children to go out with men of 19/20 is analagous to debating the merits of letting 17 year old boys go and fight in a war.

Society lets it happen and it's probably not right, it's simply the way exploitation works in society and there's little sense in railing against it, since exploitation of the young and easily led/fooled/coerced happens 'everywhere'.

Young girls are vain and like to think of themselves as 'mature', that's fine.

Young men are vain, in a different way and like to think of themselves as 'real men', that's fine too.

This leads to young girl-children trying to act like women 10 years older then them and young boy-children, doing stupid things like "drinking too much, smoking too much, driving too fast, getting into fights or .. joining an army".
That's just the way it works... and when you get a little older, you really couldn't give a crap about trying to prove yourself to be something you're not.


All we're debating here, is the merits, or lack thereof of the different instanciations of vanity, in the two sexes. We're focusing on the little girl trying to play with the big kids, but, in reality missing the point that boys do the same thing too, just in a slightly different way.

Boston, really, you don't care if some 19 year old guy wants to be with a 15 year old girl. That's her problem and her vanity and his lack of control to realise he really shouldn't be courting a child.

Quit bleating.

Oriel

I fail to see how this would be a personal issue for you...

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

I bet you fail to see many things

TacT

neither here nor there imo , have known 16/17 yr old girls going out with 27 yr old blokes, the 4 yr difference is nothing and only seems like something to you now because of the stage at which you're at.

Would you be typing the same post if a 24yr old bloke was bringing a 20yr old girl somewhere with your mates? I think not..

Oriel

Originally posted by Mordeth
I bet you fail to see many things

- edit: smart comment removed after second thought... :P

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

heh, feel the love kid i was only kidding

Oriel

Erm, heh heh no I removed my other smart comment in response to yours.

My first comment remains valid.

- Yep, feel the love...

Cabaal

Originally posted by Beruthiel
Also what type of perents lets their 15 year old daughter go to a debs with a 19 year old to party all night long

ones that don't give a crap?

Obviously they don't, they need a goods kick up the arse for not careing about there child.

Originally posted by Typedef
Young girls are vain and like to think of themselves as 'mature', that's fine.

Young men are vain, in a different way and like to think of themselves as 'real men', that's fine too.

All we're debating here, is the merits, or lack thereof of the different instanciations of vanity, in the two sexes. We're focusing on the little girl trying to play with the big kids, but, in reality missing the point that boys do the same thing too, just in a slightly different way..

What you say is all very true and I agree with almost all of it.

But I don't think everyone here is focusing on this issue being the little girls or boys fault.

Alot of this is down to there parents and obviously there parents don't give a ****e about who these two people date.

Yes society does place into this but alot of what society is comes from how people were raised by there parents (the other half from TV ) seems both there parents could have done a better job.

skipn_easy

Do you and your friends know the girl weell, is she in the class behind you or anything? Its not fair to simply say she's immature and naive if you don't know her at all.

I went to my own debs at 16, my date was 18 and most of my friends were 18 or 19. There wasn't much I could do about it, it was just the way it was in my class - I wasn't any less mature than the 18 and 19 year olds that went to the debs at the same time as me.

Typedef

Yes society does place into this but alot of what society is comes from how people were raised by there parents (the other half from TV ) seems both there parents could have done a better job.

Yeah but, maybe if you try and raise children "right" they just end up railing against you.

koneko

Originally posted by TacT
[BWould you be typing the same post if a 24yr old bloke was bringing a 20yr old girl somewhere with your mates? I think not.. [/B]

A 15-year-old is a lot different from a 20-year-old. Besides the fact that it's illegal, a lot of 15-year-olds aren't emotionally equipped to deal with sexual relationships, let alone having babies (should that happen).

It's not the age difference. It's the age she's at. Two consenting adults with 4 years between them.. of course it's not a problem. 15-year-olds aren't adults.

It's very easy to get caught up in the moment when you're young and horny. Hopefully your friend will remember this girl is still a kid, and to avoid playing sausage-games with her.

Cabaal

Originally posted by Typedef
Yeah but, maybe if you try and raise children "right" they just end up railing against you.

Nah thats not true, I've always thought my parents raised me right.
I wouldn't do such a thing I know the difference between right and wrong and I never really backlashed against them.

Infact I'm happy they actually cared enough about me to do such a good job.

Originally posted by koneko
A 15-year-old is a lot different from a 20-year-old. Besides the fact that it's illegal, a lot of 15-year-olds aren't emotionally equipped to deal with sexual relationships, let alone having babies (should that happen).

I was going to comment on that whole topic but decided not to.

But your right, this is certainly one bloody good reason why a 19 year old should not be bring this 15 year old (dating?) to a debs.

Its just no right in soceities eyes and if things go to far they eye's of the law as well.

Kali

Originally posted by koneko
A 15-year-old is a lot different from a 20-year-old. Besides the fact that it's illegal, a lot of 15-year-olds aren't emotionally equipped to deal with sexual relationships, let alone having babies (should that happen).

What has this topic got to do with sex? Your're going a tad bit off-topic here.
I mean unless he's booked a room in the hotel where the debs is on, theres very little chance of sex, plus the fact that if they drink like Boston says they do I doubt they'd be able to get it up anyway.

Cabaal

Originally posted by Kali
What has this topic got to do with sex? Your're going a tad bit off-topic here.
I mean unless he's booked a room in the hotel where the debs is on, theres very little chance of sex, plus the fact that if they drink like Boston says they do I doubt they'd be able to get it up anyway.

Oh come on, in this day and age there's a bloody good chance this could happen.

If this guy doesn't have the sense to date someone nearer to his actual age he may not have much sense when it comes to other matters.

Late night, drink! and young and horney
there's a good chance of it I'd say.

But hay, I could be wrong..

koneko

It's not off-topic. Even if they don't do it that night, they might the next, or whatever.

I'm sure he isn't bringing her to debs because she's like a sister to him. He's obviously interested in her...

I just think it's a bad idea. Lots of bad things could happen.

skipn_easy

Its not off-topic but it is jumping to conclusions.... lots of people take friends or good-looking people to the debs and they don't all want sex. They're all still in school so sex shouldn't be that much of an issue (or maybe i'm just naive).

The guy might just not have anyone else he wants to ask, so he chose this girl, that doesn't mean he's going to jump into bed with her.

LegacyUser

ooooooooooooooooh
yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
*does pelvic thrusts*

koneko

Ok Ok perhaps I came across differently than I intended

I'm not saying that's what *will* happen but it's an option.
19-year-olds can be horny devils, and it's only natural (and fun), but in cases like these if something does happen it could be more trouble than it's worth.

partyboy

its pretty obvious he wants to give her a go, boys don't ask girls to debs unless they want to give them a shot.

moridin

... unless they're desperate for someone to go who isn't related to them?

Is the guy ugly?

jesus_thats_gre

I personally think it is a bit off alright.

Most 19 year old guys are gonna try get their dates in the sack. Thats a fact, lads dont pretend its not!

As for the 15 year old girl. It is very very very commmon for a younger girl to be with an older fella. In my experience, my mates are all older than their girlfriends and if you look at you parents, the same will probably be the case. Seems that fellas like younger girls and girls like older fellas.

Also, a 15 year old girl is not always the innocent party. I just want people to realise that young girls can be very good at getting what they want. Mind you, a fella should know better.


The whole thing may be very innocent however, they may be good mates and he was stuck for a date or too shy to ask anyone else. He seems like a bit of a wankkk stain like, ya never know.

Boston

I can't believe so few of you seem to see the problem with bringing a 15 year old under age girl to a drinking session. First off i never called her a slapper, and i don't know where your tone is coming from kali, you think i'm going to have to tell anyone shes 15. I had to find this out through a third party, the guys to fuking ashamed of himself to tell me, he knows its wrong. I think any girl aged 15 doing this type of thing is fuking neive, and so is he. He knows the lads we go to school with, half are complete stoners their goign to be high on cocaine/hash that night, afew of them should be in mountjoy right now if the gardi ever copped what they had done in the past, some even at the age of 18 have to report to a garda station every two weeks. I seen how some of these guys treat women, basically like ****e and i do thing that a girl of 15 isn't mature enough to know when a guy is getting the wrong idea. What my problem is at the end of the day, is i don't want to watch what i say or what i do because theres a feicing child sitting in the cornor knowing back shots. Maybe i'm the one with the problem, i have this thing about drink, never touch the stuff except on special occasions, wasn't an underage drinker at all. I think if this girl is as mature as most of you think, then she should be mature enough to chose not to drink just because. And Havelock i do look out for my friends, i'm the one who makes sure they get home all right and that no one touches them when where out.

moridin

It seems to me that you feel pretty strongly about this, and that your friend isn't too pleased about having this girl go with him.

Has he spoken to her about it? Why did he invite a 15 year old in the first place? I mean, if he was sheepish just telling you about it then imagine how he's gonna be on the night itself... does this girl know what she's getting herself into?

Regardless of how you feel on the underage drinking thing, I'd see it as the responsibility of your friend to look out for the girl, as she's going with him. If he's not prepared to do that then he shouldn't have asked her, and a 15 year old will take a lot more looking after than an 18 year old :P

Boston

think is he was meant to be going with another girl, or so he told me anyway, she backed out on him and now hes goign with this girl because he doesn't have the bottle to go stag, although three of us are going stag. As for her, i'll put it this way, after she first met me and a friend of our, she told him she thought we where pretty scary and weird. i jsut don't think he understands what he's letting himself wide open to. Any thing happens to that girls its his ass. As for no sex at these things, who are you kidding kali? I could tell you stories about our debs.

mike65

Debs...how tacky!

On topic I'm wondering about the wit of the parents of this girl. I would'nt klet her within a mile of such an environment "without a net" or maybe at all. She'll get her chance later...

Boston, this friend should be big enough to tell her whats in her own best interests even if she does'nt like it....or just say "hey, I've changed my mind, sorry"

Mike.

Boston

Originally posted by mike65
Debs...how tacky!
.

theres allways one. If he had any sense he wouldnt have asked her at all. Not like he would be the only one going stag

scojones

a 15 year old? that's just sick! get him arrested!

Nevyn

You are right to be concerned Boston as most 15 year olds are not equipped with the social skills to deal an occasion that is a debs and the self confidence to deal with a bunch of drunken lads.

As for those who seem to think that Sex is not an agenda for a Debs where have you been for the last what 12 years?

6 pregnancies after my own debs 11 years ago and the amount of couples that disappeared under tables, into the toilets and for a walk was unreal.

Not as enterprising as the first Debs I went to which was for boy’s school they clubbed together and had a bedroom in the hotel for shagging and passed the key around


Drugs are also so readily available and if a female isn’t savvy enough and if there are guys that are unscrupulous enough debs is a good excuse to think you can get away with a hell of a lot.

IF you are really that concerned get word to her parents somehow or else yes well you will end up babysitting and Believe me I know how much that sucks

smiles

Boston, talk to the guy and tell him your issues with it.
Talk to the girl and ask if she's ok with the situation.

Originally posted by Thaed

6 pregnancies after my own debs 11 years ago and the amount of couples that disappeared under tables, into the toilets and for a walk was unreal.

At our debs we were locked into the building. Yes. locked in. no way in, no way out. bouncers at the doors. They finally had to let us out when it turns out our debs committee "forgot" to book the buses to bring us home (it was over an hour from where everyone lived.)

<< Fio >>

Boston

i think thread nailed my concerns. Girl get knocked up at one of these things it either going to be A) blamed on you, or your mate. Fio, the only talking i'll be doing is afew slaps accross the head if he thinks he's bringing her. I'm trying to arrange a met up this weekend where his stupidity can be pointed out to him. I've seen him do and say some pretty stupid things, to be honest hes the one being nieve. At the same time another friend of mine is bringing a 17 year old (hes 18) and shes pretty well able to handle herself, and i've no problem with her even though she is also underage.

Shiminay

A 15 year old girl has no business being at a debs.

End of story.

Slaps all round Boston me-lad. Slaps to your mate, slaps to her parents for not instilling enough fear of the world and drunken, horny, barely adult, boys in her and a slap to her for wanting to be all grown up when she should be enjoying her youth.

ringzer

Originally posted by moridin
... unless they're desperate for someone to go who isn't related to them?

Is the guy ugly?

I think its a pretty sad reflection on the guy for brining her. Can he not find someone his own age? I think its pretty sad in general when guys in their twenties have to go out with teenagers cause the girls their own age wouldnt give them the time of day, most likely cause they're muppets.

a 15 year old? that's just sick! get him arrested!

Damm right, its sick going out/taking to the debs, (well actually grads, cause debs is for girls, grads if for guys) when all she is, is a child at the end of the day. I dont care how mature she is, she's still 15 for god sake!

Ciaran

Nevyn

Originally posted by Kharn
slaps to her parents for not instilling enough fear of the world and drunken, horny, barely adult, boys in her

apparently that isnt the done thing anymore and *** I know 13 years old who could do with the dont be a prick tease
talk nevermind 15.

A sad fact that many young girls are over sexualised and once they start to blossom
if they have not already been tought a certain ammount of modesty they give off signals often provoke responses they dont know how to deal with,

JohnnyBravo

Sounds to me like the guy is a pedo i mean the 15 year old girls dont even have boobs for gods sake

moridin

Hmm, methinks you might be going a little far there Johnny :eek:

TacT

Jonny, perhaps you'd care to explain to me how a fifteen yr old girl in my junior cert year had bigger tits than the sixth years and most teachers for that matter?

koneko, yeah I know there's a big difference but he is only bringing her to the debs.

Boston, do you reckon this guy is intent on going out with or having sex with this girl? :eek:

Or is he just gonna be bringing her to the debs? Why can't he get someone his own age to go along?

JohnnyBravo

Maybe we are reading this wrong maybe he is babysitting her

Boston

Originally posted by TacT
Boston, do you reckon this guy is intent on going out with or having sex with this girl? :eek:

Or is he just gonna be bringing her to the debs? Why can't he get someone his own age to go along?

The really really fuked up thing is that i don't think he gives a bollox about this girl and is only "interested" in her for her older sister. I don't know why he can't get a date, probably cause he tries to hard to get one and expects to much. He confessed his in dieing love for a girl he knew once, she i nthe end had to break his heart, it was painfull and messy to watch, but at the same time quiet funny. Maybe it will work out, maybe shes about to turn 16, but yea she didn't come accross as the type of girl that could hardle the type of crap that goes on at a debs. I've talked it over with a few friends, and where all agreed she can't come.

And debs are different to grands here. They are to completely separate excuses for a piss up.

lordsippa

Why not just make an anonymous tip off to the bouncers or barmen bout her age. Pretty shítty but still if you feel this bad bout it and it means she doesn't have to be told to eff off either.

Boston

sorry love, you can't come in, now walk a hundred miles home in the dead of night alone, or with a strange fella. But the point is ture, i wonder how my mate plans to get this grossly under age girl in

Barry Aldwell

In the event that they do have sex, and it is made public knowledge, then he'll be on his way to a cell rather fast. She, at 15, is below the age of consent and he, at 19, is above the age of consent. Statutory rape charges, plus a reputation of being a paedophile.

A guy in my year in school kissed an 11 year old when he was 15. That was a year ago. He is still verbally harassed about it on a daily basis.

lordsippa

If you're gonna get a bus from the school or something like that, then get any teachers who are there to wish you well to have a word with her, just asking about id or something as she looks rather young and hopefully she'll get the hint.

(NB. I may not be in the best mindframe for giving advice... it IS almost 6 and i haven't slept yet)

Crash

there are a number ways you could do this boston.

1) is mention something on the sly to the parents,

2) is to ask the bouncers not to let her in.

3) is to ask one of the other girls you know well to try and keep and eye on her for the night

4) do the same yourself

5) kick your mate repeatedly in the crotch for a day or so before so there is NO chance he could screw.

Barry Aldwell

Originally posted by crash_000
5) kick your mate repeatedly in the crotch for a day or so before so there is NO chance he could screw.

With steel capped boots. He'll thank you in the future.





My ass he will

Boston

Originally posted by lordsippa
If you're gonna get a bus from the school or something like that, then get any teachers who are there to wish you well to have a word with her, just asking about id or something as she looks rather young and hopefully she'll get the hint.

(NB. I may not be in the best mindframe for giving advice... it IS almost 6 and i haven't slept yet)

I'm sorry, but this has sweet FA to do with any teacher. On graduation night they lost all imaginary power over us, as we started calling them by their first names and stuff. Where gettign limos, so i won't see the girl before the night. I don't know her parents. All boys schol i'm afraid so i won't know any of the girls at thsi thing, see none of the lads are bringing girls they actually have any respect for, bascially their all bringing complete slags (sorry but its true) and that my worry, that this 15 year old, weather she is or not, will be treated in the same way. I'll keep an eye on her during the night, without sound to much of a hard ass, they wont do anythign to her with moi around, while at the same time some off the lads would like nothing better then to say they screwed my mates dated, just to throw it back at him.

Typedef

Originally posted by Boston
All boys schol i'm afraid so i won't know any of the girls at thsi thing, see none of the lads are bringing girls they actually have any respect for, bascially their all bringing complete slags (sorry but its true) and that my worry, that this 15 year old, weather she is or not, will be treated in the same way.

A : You don't (or shouldn't care)
B: You're not her father/brother/relative
C: Concentrate on yourself.
Don't spy on her all night.
E: Concentrate on getting (you're own date) into bed.
F: See point E.

I'll keep an eye on her during the night, without sound to much of a hard ass, they wont do anythign to her with moi around, while at the same time some off the lads would like nothing better then to say they screwed my mates dated, just to throw it back at him.

Hello.

I'm sure this guy will be too embarressed being seen with a child (or should be) and if he's not... I'd still like to refer you to my pervious point "E".
So whilst you may disapprove, don't obsess about it all night long. And in any case.... like, point ==>"E"<==.

Besides Boston, maybe a 15 year old is the best he could do, and if she wants to put out for him there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do about it. So, don't be wierd and just go with point "E".