Would it be fair to say...

Heresy

Would it be fair to say that life really sucks most of the time. I'm just thinking back over the past 7 or 8 years of my life. There's been little spurts of hapiness engulfed by massive clouds of sorrow, despair, misfortune, pain, suffering and fear.
Lads, all I want to know is...is there something wrong with me or are ye all putting on a brave face when I meet ye. There are some people I know who seem to have the perfect life, always happy, bouncy, positive, wealthy and nice. Are they living a lie or is this genuine luck on their behalf or bad luck on mine?

KK

that would not be fair to say at all at all. life is grand most of the time, it's only when you get bogged down in work, or something else, that you get down or depressed. don't let things get to you, and work to live, don't live to work. things are generally good, ya know. i am a cheery lady oh yes i am.

Dr. Loon

Perfectly fair. Life is awful. Always. There's just no point.

Heresy

Glad to hear that. Makes me feel a little better.

Kone

SIGNS YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION



* You've got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong.

* You really lose it whenever someone says, "Good morning."

* You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention.

* You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet.

* Given a choice, you'd have no preference between sex or a root canal.

* You list Dr. Kevorkian as a character reference.

* Alcohol gives you strength and food settles your nerves.

* Your hands shake so badly that you can brush your teeth without any voluntary movement.

* You've cried so much that your contacts have rusted to your eyeballs.

Heresy

Sugar, I forgot to get that tooth done...

ToxicPaddy

Originally posted by Heresy
There are some people I know who seem to have the perfect life, always happy, bouncy, positive, wealthy and nice. Are they living a lie or is this genuine luck on their behalf or bad luck on mine?

Not necessarily.. some people just learn to handle disappointments and setbacks differently than others and some just accept it as it is, a setback and not the end of the world.. so they just put the head down and keep at it until they either solve the problem or find a work around that will let them continue enjoying life..

Ive went through bad patches that have seemed to last months and even years, but eventually you will get through it, just takes a bit of time...

Heresy

Ok lads, sometimes my mind closes, because of confusion etc. Thanks for opening it back up (for the moment).

mr_angry

To be honest, if I looked back over the last 7 or 8 years of my life, and picked out all the pain & sorrow, etc, then I could say that I've had a pretty miserable time. Bit I choose not to. I choose to concentrate on the better things that have happened. It's really just a case of changing your perspective. That might sound difficult at the moment, but give it a try. It wont make you feel any worse anyway.

Heresy

Well said mr angry. Rings through with what my mama once said. "Everyone goes through the same difficulties as you. You must accept that it's not going to be easy but ye're all in the same boat, together."
I'm a real doubting Thomas, I find it really, really hard to accept that, but hearing more or less the same thing from a few of ye has made me think again.

Havelock

God no, life has its ups and downs but we usually are wearing tinted glasses when we reflect. Depending on our mood they are either rose tinted or grey. So when we're happy all our memories are happy, but when upset we remeber none of the good.

If this is not the case, take a close look at your life and what you do with it. See if there are things you should change.

Heresy

Sorry havelock, don't understand. You say we reflect on our lives in either of two ways. You then go on to say if we're not doing this there's a problem. How else can I reflect?

Originally posted by Heresy

There are some people I know who seem to have the perfect life, always happy, bouncy, positive, wealthy and nice. Are they living a lie or is this genuine luck on their behalf or bad luck on mine?

They are not living a lie, they are living a life!!!
You can do the exact same.
Whats the point in attaching too much un-neccessary importance to, the bad things that happen in your life.
Deal with them and get on with it, Smile and be happy.
Two things are certain you will die, and you do have control over your own life.
Avoid whingers and people that appear permanently sad, direct them to the Samaratans or people experienced in dealing with them.
Maximise your opportunities to be around these people you know who are "always" happy and I can tell you it's infectious.
Learn by your actions that life is for making the most of, and not for worrying.
Oh and take at least a two week holiday in the sun,where last minute flights are cheap.
Party there, bring a sleeping bag and spend your budget on food and drink if you can't afford a hotel.
Most good beaches will have a shower:)

mm


p.s I get down sometimes too, but I get up after I've taken a bit of punishment and tell myself Enough of that Shít! and then move on to being happy go lucky and enjoy life again! Too much dwelling on things is bad for you so stop it!!

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Heresy
I'm a real doubting Thomas, I find it really, really hard to accept that, but hearing more or less the same thing from a few of ye has made me think again.

from this statement I'm guessing you are fairly young?

*old wans rant*

we all have ****e times, but as you get older and don't die from them you basically learn to live with it.
I managed last time, I'll manage this time - I'm not saying it's easy, it bloody well isn't!
as the old saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Heresy

Man, are u like pyschic or something? I've been thinking about a holiday for ages. Changed jobs which basically mean't no days off since Christmas! Might do the trick.
Oh and Beruthiel, you are very perceptive as well. I'm very young, but I feel like an old man!

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Heresy
I'm very young, but I feel like an old man!

when you get older this will change to:

I'm very old, but I feel* like a young man


*no smart ass comments from you who know me!

Originally posted by Heresy
Man, are u like pyschic or something? I've been thinking about a holiday for ages. Changed jobs which basically mean't no days off since Christmas! Might do the trick.

Thats the spirit!!
Me goes on holidays a lot, weekends away are great too
as a matter of fact, people sometimes check if I'm here,expecting I'm not.....I don't go away every week, just when I can

mm

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Gordon

Originally posted by Heresy

Oh and Beruthiel, you are very perceptive as well. I'm very young, but I feel like an old man!

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Dustaz and myself are available provided you are a female of the non pie eating variety.

Beruthiel

Gordie I think Mercie is blinded by the hope that everyone in here is female (of the right height of course)

Heresy

Ok lads, thanks for the advice etc. Some day, I'll be as happy as ye and when that day comes, ye'll all know about it. Maybe I'll go to a boards meeting. These communities are mean't to break down barriers and hopefully mine will be well trampled on.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Heresy
Maybe I'll go to a boards meeting

now see, this is an excellent idea!
you are 100% guaranteed to have a good time!

bloggs

Give the Samaritans a call.

I used to Volunteer with them (believe it or not)

KK

what was that like, bloggs?
i wouldn't mind doing something for the common good.

bloggs

It's quiet rewarding, you have to do a sorta test, and take some mock calls before they let you on phones (but like tech support), they are quiet strick too. Also a lot of people thought it was about giving advice but it's not the case, it's just to listen as that's what most people want.

I would recommend it to everyone, some of the calls can be quiet hard to take, but there is a good team there. You can give their number a call and tell them you are interested but they usually do the hiring in groups.

TacT

I put it down to what you want to think about.
Focus on the negative and you will feel negative
Focus on the positive and you will feel positive

God knows I've waffled with so many people about this and this is as far as I'm willing to take it, I see it as black and white, take it for granted and am a happy cheery lad.

It's how you choose to perceive things/reflect on them or act on them that will decide your mood.
It's impossible to see the good in things too, if your only focusing on the bad.
Try find some good in each situation or lesson learned (or whatever it is you find) and take more from that than you take from something that gets you down and hopefully you'll be at least into a neutral line, instead of the negative line your finding yourself in at the moment

Good luck

p.s after reading bloggs last post I'd say you could try doing something like this that may give you some sort of reward mentally. By helping other people in your very position, it may shed some light on why you find yourself that way too..

b3t4

Are the people you are meeting that are so happy and successful just people in passing or good friends??

I've met loads of people who appear to be happy but underneath they aren't.

I understand how you feel. The last couple of years I've had some set backs. I've felt exactly how you have felt. At the time I used to keep a journal and when I read back on it now I just can't believe that it was me writing those thoughts and feelings.

If your feelings are a permenant thing then I think you should get yourself to a counsellor and just talk some stuff out.

Also a change in your current situation can help immensely. Removing yourself from the places that may cause negative feelings helps.

A.

smiles

Well.... "life's not fair. deal with it" used to be one of my favourite sayings.

<< Fio >>

Pigman II

No, It would be fair to say that life is what you make it. If you wake up every morning feeling that life is **** and everyone is against you then it will be that way. I know that sounds like cliche of the week but on this occasion it's true (as I've only recently worked out for myself).

Barry Aldwell

Originally posted by Havelock
we usually are wearing tinted glasses when we reflect

"Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

Always try to keep an open mind when reflecting on the past. Don't dwell on the ugly parts, but don't forget them either. If you forget the ugly parts of your memories you may find yourself returning to something that you hated in the past, but the bad parts have been blocked out by nostalgia.

mrbungle

Life is too short to have hang-ups and angst about what happened 7-8 years ago.

We all get tough breaks and sometimes feel that we've been dealt a bum hand, but you have to make the most of who and what you have.

I have to repeat it my friend, life is way too short.
Try to surround or hang out with positive people, corny and American as it sounds, it works !!

If your stuck in a rut, break out of the mould:
Change locals, ring up an old friend or relative, stop drinking (for a while), start going to concerts where there is usually a communal good feeling (just thought og that, I like that one !!)

Listen to yourself, are you complaining all the time, start using different vocabulary like, I try a different way instead of I hate it and can't do it, etc.

Work to live, not live to work. Take 30 mins on the way home from work to relax and wind down.

VERY IMPORTANT !! Take maybe the same when you get home to get back into conversation mode. Get something to eat before you start listening to your bird, wife's or Moms' day. This 30 mins is vital else your nerves start to go pretty quickly.
Your basically difusing. Try it, it works.

Laters.

IrishPug106GTi

Oh my God..!!
Can anyone on these boards truly sat that they have had a hard life. I'm 26 and have been through more already than most of you will ever go through. However, it didn't stop me doing the things in life that were important. I don't believe in "looking at life through rose-tinted glasses" If things are bad, get out and make them better. It's when the ability to do that is taken away from you that life really becomes hard.
Get off your ass and do something about it.

Heresy

I'd say those "happy bouncy" people as I called them are more friends in passing, or acquaintances.
Does anyone have any opinion on negative music dragging us down? I'll give you any example of a song I really love that contains kinda bad lyrics. Here goes:

Oh poor twisted me
Oh poor twisted me
I FEAST on sympathy
I CHEW on sorrow
SWALLOW whole the pain
OH...it's too good to be
That all this misery
Is for old poor twisted me


Maybe those lines fit your mental perception of me exactly: "Self absorbed, selfish eegit".
Anyway lads, enough of the negative. I had a great weekend. When life is good, it's great.

loismustdie

analysin your life isn't goina make it better. ya may just relax an hav fun instead of feelin sorry for yourself

Yavvy

a lot of ppl replied to the thread" Are People Happy"

Heresy

Never a truer sentence spoken, but come on, you're a 4 star mod and I'm a one star mut.
As far as I'm concerned, the more stars you have in this place the more popular you are.

Kell

Originally posted by Heresy

As far as I'm concerned, the more stars you have in this place the more popular you are.

Popularity is deemed by the number of pints bought for you at Boards bash's. Get your ass to the next one. They're not meeting by the way, unless you could call them AA* meetings.

K-



*Alchohalics always

Typedef

Originally posted by Heresy
Never a truer sentence spoken, but come on, you're a 4 star mod and I'm a one star mut.
As far as I'm concerned, the more stars you have in this place the more popular you are.

Delusion :
(n) The belief that modding brings populatirty.

Reality :
(n) The benefits modding has when stroking women at boards beers


ha

Trojan

Kell's not far off the mark there. I think some people on here need to get out into Real Life and judge themselves on how popular they are out there...

Oh, and come along to the beers too - you owe me a pint.

Al.

Yavvy

Originally posted by Heresy
Never a truer sentence spoken, but come on, you're a 4 star mod and I'm a one star mut.
As far as I'm concerned, the more stars you have in this place the more popular you are.

Was that directed at me ?
Look at my post count, look how new I am. Hardly anyone on boards knows me, and they** pay me about the same attention as anyone*** else on boards.ie*.
I dont know any of the mods, it just so happened I was posting a lot about GAA when DEV decided to make a GAA fourm.

Your delusional if you think im popular. We are all mistreated and abused the same here





* A chat fourm
**The regular posters, the established one's
*** All THE 98 billion Boards.ie users ( except I have a special subscriber pack, so i know the seceret wistle and i get plumbing supplies for free)

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Heresy

Your use of the word mut is interesting. Are you saying you're an uglybugly type? Is this were your issues stem from?

I'm not ugly, but I'll put it this way: the chicks aren't clinging onto my leg as I leave the nightclub (unlike my brother).
Not where any of this stemmed from. It stemmed from my empty life. I'm not ashamed to admit that. It's where to get fullfillment that is the main question in my head, nearly every day.

p.pete

Nobody is happy (or sad) all the time. Happiness is only moments and if you are lucky at the end of the day you have more happy moments than sad moments. What other posters have said about focus is absolutely true. If you focus on the negative moments then you are in effect creating an additional negative moment - and of course the opposite if you are focusing on one of the happier ones.

Focus is mostly a case of habbit. A lot of people naturally tend towards the negative - for some reason it's what comes the easiest. Part of the trick is to catch yourself or to realise when you start thinking negatively.

Even situations that arise in everyday life have an infinite potential for different view points (with varying degrees of positivity and negativity). The same applies here - try to stop and notice when you are thinking negatively - there is alway another viewpoint. Naturally **** happens but it doesn't have to be a cause for continued anguish.

As far as fulfillment is concerned - it's a harder one to figure out. Of the people who graduated from my class in college I think the most fulfilled person is the person who lost his job and is living in his home town, perfectly content with life. Others who got into better paid jobs in bigger companies with more opportunities haven't necessarily been more fulfilled.

Havelock

I think ppl mis understood me, I was saying what ever we are feeling now reflects on parts of our past, when we are happy we rememeber happy time, when sad, we remember bad etc. Thats the way it is for me anyway.

I thought as I went through adoclence it was painful, ugly and ****. But thats because I felt that way, looking back now (happy) I see things alot happier than they where.

Now for some terrible recycled but free advice,
Life is what YOU make it.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by p.pete
I think the most fulfilled person is the person who lost his job and is living in his home town, perfectly content with life. Others who got into better paid jobs in bigger companies with more opportunities haven't necessarily been more fulfilled.

I truly believe it all stems from how happy you are with yourself. Sometimes society leads us to believe we have to have x, y and z to make us happy. If we don’t have a house, car, wife and 2.5 kids by a certain age then something’s wrong with us. Ignore all outside influences and work on yourself

p.pete

Originally posted by Havelock
I think ppl mis understood me, I was saying what ever we are feeling now reflects on parts of our past, when we are happy we rememeber happy time, when sad, we remember bad etc. Thats the way it is for me anyway.

Apologies if I took you out of context but I believe that you can be proactive about mood - regardless to what you might have said:D
If your feeling low you can do something simple like put on a song that lifts your spirits - or conversely you could decide to play something along the lines of:
Oh poor twisted me
Oh poor twisted me
I FEAST on sympathy
I CHEW on sorrow
SWALLOW whole the pain
OH...it's too good to be
That all this misery
Is for old poor twisted me

It's a question of habit and a conscious decision can be made to try to improve your own mood.

If you try to look at another way Havelock - you say that when you are happy you tend to remember happy times, perhaps when you are unhappy you could try make a conscious effort to focus on something more positive.

Heresy

The best thing a person can do when they are sad is talk to other people, whether they be loyal friends or professionals is another matter.
just looking over the past few posts I wrote, it has become apparent to me that I'm really stuck up my own flippin arse. Thinking of other people, meeting new people etc. is the answer to my problems. Thanks for all the posts, made me think again.

"putting ourselves into situations we don't like (but are not unhealthy) are obviously good for us." Obviously.