And then.....

Zer0^

take over the world and .....

Yavvy

and collect all the flame throwers he could find and those little bottles of camping gas, however the campers of the world revolted and ........

Shaque attack

and with the aid of the purple monkey dishwashers managed to

ShaneOC

blow themselves to pieces due to a camping gas accident causing untold damage to

Yavvy

tents and boyscouts, ITs a good thing .....

s8n

I like tuna, cos thats all they had, but then all of a sudden...

Vader

Jesus sent a message to his representitive on earth, Gearge W Bush telling him that God would be angry if....

Kold

He didn't see a Schwartzenegger VS Jesus Ultimate Fighting Championship match LIVE LIVE LIVE EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAAA

The next morning....pamela walked down the hall and saw Bobby walking out of the shower, she realised that, it had been all a dream, there was no Goat in Nepal, the Cow hadn't jumped over the moon and landed on Arnie's head....but horror of horrors...

Vader

she discovered there was no God, no jesus VS Schwartzenegger Ultimate Fighting Championship. The only thing she was sure of is that george bush walked into a shop and....

Vader

asks the shopkeeper directions and
gets lost on the way to the counter....
he runs into a friend of his
that turnes out to be saddam in disguise, so....
he shakes his hand and asks for directions oblivious to his identity and....
Saddem shot him in the head and the world was a better place without him.
so fresh elections are organised and the winner is
the person with the least votes and a large....
organ, who played with it and everyone was happy......
seems Bill Clinton won another term in office with one vote as Monica wrote him in on her ballot ........
So Bill was president again and Hilary divorced him while...
taking oral lessons from Monica which meant that
.... bill had to get a bigger podeum, too fit the two of them under while he ...
reflected upon how to award Saddam a nice shiney medal with out causing...
the big podeum to collapse under the strain of......
His oversized pet brick...
who had a rubber ...
Paws with large electrified.......
furry bits - which reminded him of...
his youth when he frolicked in the dandelion field with...
dave. Sitting in the Oval Office once again President Clinton began...
ordering a fresh batch of Cuban cigars, so..
so his friend rummy went and invaded cuba but instead of cigars brought back
A tiny piano playing monkey. to which bill said to rummy....
the key to success is.....
a large lemon pie with....
lashings of....
monkey love juice, as it is...
yummy , considering....
the Presidents taste buds had been destroyed by...
Monica Lowinski's.....
hot...
moist...
cucumber sandwhichs which she made in..
1986 for her...
pet rhinocerous, who enjoyed
sampling the female pet rhinocerous'.......
rhinosauserage casserole when they were both...
little kittens who played in the sun....
.... meanwhile back in the whitehouse bill's little piano playing monkey was....
being violated by...
a hamster named....
..Pugsley who's enormous genitals forced him to..
grunt in pain as he....
..made the monkey sing the decleration of independance while he....
ate 200 cheese burgers in 1 minute 23 seconds and then he....
.....felt an uncontrollable urge to go to the toilet in his sequined jump suit, and.....
...Osama Bin Laden rang the door bell,
and got a nasty shock when...
a large infatable badger...
came in his face......
and he drowned with....
only one last request, that bush would
...be resurrected and elected President...
.... so osama could annoy him in the after life with.....
so osama began he quest to resurrected bush only there was one problem and that was...
that he had been cremated and his ashes scattered to unknown parts of the world................
where not even the US army had invaded!
and this place was called...
Alone on the Range, where the deer and the antleope........
got eaten by....
Large fat men all called billy from Armagh
Who had no teeth....
because they had been knocked out one by one by a .......
one eyed monster called Gerald
who lived in a lake and planned to...........
get married
to an electric eel called carmen who liked..
slippery nipples
Mary Harney sat on her fat....
crane comsuming Gerald's lake and all in it, while...
Charlie thought about how the funk the country with his next budget and how to
enter into..
bi-lateral talks with North Korea about buying some......
candy floss for the russians who...
are all going to invade America to kill...
all Americans in the name of the War on Terror, unless...
is allowed to...
ride a horse naked....
through the white house while...
competing for the vacancy left after Monicas departure
so he can have his way with....
hillary clinton who liked kerrymen who...
Used Diesel as toothpaste while.....
Shaving themselves using a bottle of...
...were holding the green-eyed monster hostage because...
ubermass, the shaving foam of men, because all the....
.. women have hairy armpits. So when the Kerryman was ready he...
......stripped naked and......
covered every inch of his sparse flesh in
Pig fat which...
which really improved his odor, like his mother always said: if you...
smell like the Garda Siochana
you should rob a jcb and
pretend to dig holes all day while you are really drinking copious amounts of tea because
hole digging, pig fat smelling, naked, kerry men feel drinking tea is their major contribution to the Irish ecomony as well as...
being a great way to pick up hole digging, pig fat smelling, naked, kerry women, who....
brought us to Court over insulting remarks about Kerry people, but we retaliated by..
pointing out the fact that they were from kerry and they were digging and they did use pig fat for aftershave and they were naked!!!!
So we counter-sused and....
Won because we had an american jury who would....
thought the smell from the pig-smelling kerrypeople were the desert, but found out that...
they shít the loads during the court case and still stinked worse dan before so ........
they realised that the had no authority and went back to America where.....
he began a plan with the CIA to "cleanse Kerry" as part of a new branch of "The War on Terror" called "The Wa' on Terrah", so he called...
his old friend bill gates who had the financial grunt to purchase 372 pairs of purple hotpants with which he could...
Dress Hilary Clinton in because...
she entered a pie eating contest and had gone fat......
by eating the other contestents aswell, along with...
a copious amount of dehydrated peas, whcih after a glass of water caused her to ..
.. get anxious about whether or not she would...
...explode sending loads of....
Dehydrated Pea's and contestants over long distance's...
which she promptly did ending this thread
but thats what you think becuase one of the pea's actually hit...
Bertie Ahern, who hadn't been eaten, causing him to o-o-order dat de b-b-bleedin thread be shut down
spoil sport
named shaque attack really smells because...
small petty insecure losers often apply smelly...
socks to there forheads as this protects them from....
other terrible smells, despite this making them smell horrible these socks had magical powers that.....
gave the losers the power of invisablity, which they never used to..
climb giant beanstalks......
and scare away scary monsters as...
being wedgied by invisable smelly (we are fond of that word here, are we not?) losers is a rather scary experiance, but not as bad as...
as knowing vader who
is very cute in a pink tootoo...
in a weird sort of masculine way, when he is beating the crap out of
his member. Then, all of a sudden....
out comes the...
authorities who were hiding in his...
shower in his bathroom
which were sleak slippery and wet thus..
endangering the time space continum to shuch an extent that..
that a geometric shift had occurred causing...
quantum singularity to form, which within it contained...
spuds and
a guy called Bush walking into a shop and...
THE END.

Vader

But it really wasn't because....
Saddam still had to shoot him before the...
shopkeeper could find him and tell him
to watch out for osma lurking in the deli section because he carried a rather large
cucumber which he used to shove up..
into the air to scare the ....
living daylight out of the 42 chherleaders who had just happened to...
...remove the plug which should have remained untouched because...
it blocked up a dense matter singularity, otherwise known as a black hole...
into which every cucumber shaped object gets pulled into
only to be quickly pulled out
before being pulled back in again. All this reminded him of the time...
he went to a Boards.ie beer. The End?
The end? Yes it was hard to remember the end considering the amount he had drunk. If only he could remember where he had left...
that dodgy picture of.....
Devore naked in bed with ecksor while they are..
trying to lock this thread because of runfree's.....
small willy which is no bigger than ...
the cucumbers being sucked into the black hole.....
..Hawkings invented because he couldnt find any other way to explain how the universe works other than it being powered by cucumbers and......
dolphins, who really rule the universe but wont reveal their power because....
because the evil..
.....iguana has pictures of the dolphins sucking.....
the decaying bonemarrow from a three month old maggot infested corpse because
... i really, really, really need a......
a lighter to burn....
things that
smell faintly of cabbage
or stale urine after being...
soaked in...
in all kinds of weird sh1t that has been brought back to american as spoils of war from....
the great crab wars of..
Nobber, Co. Meath, which is well known for its....
thick ankeled counrty girls, that always seem carry...
a Very impressive display of....
salted squid testicals which they can launch form their...
small willies to...
eachothers gaping gobs, Its no wonder Bill clinton visits....
Nobber , Co. Meath for...
regular trips to the famous
salted squid testicals launching contest
with Bryan Ferry who
promises that this years salted squid testicals launching contest will be.....
compleatly fair. After last years problems with...
the hairy vagina which.....
would explode randomly, often hitting some.....
tried to eat...
but was stopped when a moderator walked in and locked the thread. THE END (for the love of what evert deity takes your fancy)
But this story wasn't really over because Havelock forgot that......
stories like this just go on and on and on until.......
Moderators close them by using....
the dreaded
Im the mod and I have Teh Powar ! locking device, I keep it right here in ......
my hand bag..
which had a massive....
padlock which could only be opened on...
centauri 4, home of the deadly....
venom monkies with the purple asses, Their leader...
Devore or Cloud's.....
personal muppet assassin as the venom monkies can amazingly....
eat 17 cookies in 7 seconds and only use their....
3 square eyes in the caseof emergencies, which is just what happened when.....
The cell membrane commences osmosis which means the movement of water molecules from a dilute or hypotonic solution to a more concentrated or hypertonic solution across a semi-permeable membrane until both solutions are at the same concentration or isotonic, in laymans terms...
a white sticky solution shot out....
of sammy the snail, who was minding his own business sliming his way up the inside of.....
yo mama in the back of..
the garden when all of a sudden......
Arne wins the election to be governor of california so he plans for world domination are almost complete but not before.....
everyone is forced to worship his muscle bound body which...
looks strangely similar to your mama's when she is....
Washing the car wearing nothing but..............
that thing she wears when she....
When she wants to look like a dumb idiotic body-builder who...
..eats rice...
so Arne thinks to himself....
"where is the switch to this....."
big red car
"That I could crush with my hands". Suddenly Arnie notices a strange ....
Flying assfish* swimming inside the transparent couch in his
*a fish that swims primarily in a persons ass
in his personal gym that transforms into ........
The Californian eensteetute for the new uberkids that veel rool zee vurld unless...
a proper english sreaking moderator makes this thread a sticky before
Kold and Vader realise they're the only ones who can be bothered to post because....
they need the posts to increase their...
post count so that they can...
attempt to..
do...
the impossible, post 5 replys out of the last 10posts, so everyone else...........
is stupid
for thinking that they can match there posting speed because.....
We're so leet
.. said KOLD then he relised he could have just as much fun spaming on the admin\test forum where he could get the number of posts he needs to..
enlarge his penis..
shaped...
face, which has more yellow head pimples than
his mother, who we all like to call
yellow pimple head face which kinda sounds like...
Margaret Smith, who also
was a made-up figment of posters imaginations who are jealous cos Kold is really quite pretty...really... anyway getting back to arnies world domination plan which is in stage...
..school at the moment. But when finished will be bigger than a.......
size 17 because some of Arnies other super secret shoes haven't been discovered yet, mind you thats not surprising as Arnies cow which jumped over the moon didn't spill any milk whilst doing so
Scientists believe this was because...
There is no gravity in space so there was no pressure that would cause the milk to spill,
however, the moons gravity acted to slingshot arnies uber cow to...
....ballymun.....
where it made a phone call to Arnies new governors mansion, and in the rush to answer the phone Arnie tripped over...
his ego and went tumbling into the dark stranger whose name was
DEATH
Who's real name was timmy helped him to his feet and gave him the biggest....
slap in the mouth with a wet kipper and threw him back so far he landed on his back in ....
..front of George Dubya Bush. When greeted with this site GWB removed Donald Rumsfeld from his.....
Wifes bed where he was...
checking it for fleas and all of a sudden...
Mrs Bush jumps from under the blanket and runs out the door in a rush.
to unload his....
banana yoghurt delivery which is his only source of....
yoghurt tubs, which he uses to collect his s....
secret Weapon of Mass Destruction, the...
thermonuclear toaster..
and from the top of the toaster the mountains of mourne could clearly be seen sweeping down to the sea ...meanwhile a volcano erupted in Abbeydorney...
which puzzled geologist as Ireland hasn't had an active volcano for millenia and is about 1500km from the nearest plate boundary, until they realised....
that they were not infact geologists but just silly blokes that liked rocks more than they .........
liked Arnie who while settling into his new mansion suddenly heard a big bang from...
his shed and worryingly exclaimed ive got to get my .....
tubes tied before...
... I go on the game on Hollywood Boulevard to try and pay off California's budget deficit, but before that ....
I need to steal some of mrs Bush's banana yoghurts to feed my need for...
speed.
As all this was happening, a goat in a small village in Nepal was seen to gallop across the mountain because...
George bush had been informed that they goat was infact a leading member ot the Tallaght-ban. The Goat however evaded Americas search by...
dressing up as Bin Laden in a large convertible car with Banners attached in large Writing saying Catch me whilst beeping the horn loudly at...
A large platoon of US soldiers which was chasing the goat however for one reason or another........
the cow thatjumped over the moon fell to earth crashing down on Arnies head, making him ...
a cowhead? anyway....
.. the goat which started out on the run without a penny to his name arrived in calafornia and went on to become....
the governors new mascot untill...
.... he had to resign in disgrace after a widely publicised sexual indiscretion that occurred
during a visit to the Playboy mansion.
Which because it involved a goat was only reported on the news after nine.
The Goats trainer though did release his autobiography which contained the damaging revelation that...
.....the governor was secretly getting grinds from the goat despite his promise to remove education from the budgrt. One angry voter said:.........
"we need more emphasis on the abuse of chickens not someone having his merry way with a goat."
upon hearing this a large group of protestors gathered outside the
local condomania shop and burned it down while...
at the same thime in the white house...
a solitary chicken wrestled through crowds of....
Damn hippie protestors who...

Vader

who used their drudic powers to Damn Hippies to the seventh circle, while the chicken unzipped...

the sheep's fleece coat so that....

his ubermaster could read the washing instructions ,but instead...

of reading the washing instructions, the ubermaster thought better of it, and what with this sheep in front of him he whipped out his.....

Shears and clipped off enough wool to make a...

a pair of stylish woolly sunglasses, which would come in handy

when the sun decides to blast ice waves at the earth. in preparation for this our hero gave superman the prominant position on his speed dial so that

He could get back to Arnies mansion in time for...

the election for presidant to begin because with superman on his side he couldnt loose!!! unless of course the media found out about....

Supermans secret...

Superman: I killed a prostitute... she made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so i snapped her in half like a phone booth

which the american public would...

relate to seeing as 1 out ok every 35 at ine point in their life wanted to.....

chase a goat across the mountains in Nepal, meanwhile the goat...

realising its name was an anagram for toga decided to...

change his name to the dancing vader which made him feel like...

chicken tonight.

meanwhile in turkministan, a tribe got jealous of all the stories they heard about the goat in Tibet so they invented Pointy-eared, angst ridden killing machines with boobs that...

housed lots of tiny, emotionally sensitive.....

thread killers who...

in an attempt to kill this thread said that the next person who posted on dis thred was a purple monkey dishwasher

wearing anti purple monkey dishwasher underpants

Kold, hearing about the purple monkey dishwasher wearing anti purple monkey dishwasher underpants thought that someone may have been calling him, but they were actually calling...

me because im the next person that posted on this thread so i guess that makes me a purple monkey dishwasher wearing anti purple monkey dishwasher underpants unless of course.....

you count the two guys before you, but we won't because...

they can never really inderstand the true nature of purple monkey dishwasher underpants, Thakfully I can and so I have been able to remove ......

the old stigma that purple monkey dishwasher wearing anti purple monkey dishwasher underpants were usually considered to be a bit.....

be a problem associated with the Greeks(inventors of gayness), and

Bertie aherne who's a bit of a monkey himself but thats not the issue here because there's alot done......

to him by celia thats not gettin done anymore...


because she has particular problems with the issue of...

purple monkeys in the bedroom; in fact she said to Bertie "If you bring home any more monkeys I'll

play hopscotch with the chocolate kettle, which will only result in 4 being the magic number! so we know that you will have to ...

cut down on my medication cause I dont remember what I was saying, weird eh? Not really says Bertie, remember that time we went to Vagas and you..

and I pretended we were...

The chipmonks even though there were 3 of them but...

instead of singing the words of Berties favourite nursery rhyme, Celia dropped her...

moneky in the sink , but then a magic man came out of no where and. . .


put the monkey in the dishwasher which turned him into a super-powered purple monkey dishwasher...

who Celia promptly ran off with. Bertie was devastated and went off to look for...

something not associated with purple monkeys or monkeys of any kind or dishwasher paraphenalia

and set out of a mission with a very cunning plan that involved..

Jesus...

or some Jesus related matter, but to do this he must first consult..

those who control the purple monkey dishwashers and thus those that know

Jesus?

wanted to BURN all the so called "purple monkey dishwashers" IN THE WORLD , but he soon found out he .. .... .

needed to buy a new flame thrower so he proceded to

take over the world and .....

and collect all the flame throwers he could find and those little bottles of camping gas, however the campers of the world revolted and ........

and with the aid of the purple monkey dishwashers managed to

blow themselves to pieces due to a camping gas accident causing untold damage to

tents and boyscouts, ITs a good thing .....

I like tuna, cos thats all they had, but then all of a sudden...

Jesus sent a message to his representitive on earth, Gearge W Bush telling him that God would be angry if....

He didn't see a Schwartzenegger VS Jesus Ultimate Fighting Championship match LIVE LIVE LIVE EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAAA

The next morning....pamela walked down the hall and saw Bobby walking out of the shower, she realised that, it had been all a dream, there was no Goat in Nepal, the Cow hadn't jumped over the moon and landed on Arnie's head....but horror of horrors...
she discovered there was no God, no jesus VS Schwartzenegger Ultimate Fighting Championship. The only thing she was sure of is that george bush walked into a shop and....

Vader

this of couse started a monster thread, well deserving of a sticky I might add, which only really became interesting when.......

Kold

Jesus bit Schwartzenenggers leg at the press conference, but schwartzenegger wasn't deterred because he knew...

Ian Paisley since they were kids and used to...

Vader

hold bonfires together; infavt it was at one of these bonfires that Paisley introduced Arnie to....

Dont Ban Me

Bob...

Kold

The dinosaur...

Who played with...

Kold

Arnies willy when it...

Mossy Monk

got frostbite

Vader

because Osama wasnt given him any because....

Kold

That sentence didn't make any particular grammatical sense seeing as...

Mossy Monk

the educational system was a bit under par. to solve this

Arnie made the teaching of Irish compulsary in californian schools as his first step to...

l3rian

...invade canada because

andrew163

they were asking for it after they....

FirA_Fascio

...formed an alliance with Britain to take over Ireland again and...

Zer0^

...tell vader to stfu with his big long muti long posts ....but after pakistan take out the UK ireland get pissed and .....