i want a kiss!!!

cornell babe

ok absolutely terrified and really dont know why im doin this but heres my problem and ive seen you guys givin super advice on other threads so maybe you can work your magic for me too...

i have a confession to make. it gnaws at me every day makes me feel abnormal and really lonely and sometimes i get so low...

ok! you get the point prob.

so (big sigh)
i am twenty and have never kissed anyone.

there, i said it.

i am just really painfully shy. i love my life i have such super friends and family. i am although it may be incredibly hard to believe a really extrovert person in every other way. i love to help out my own shy friends and boost their confidence.

its just ive never met any boy that i actually wanted to kiss..

ive never left the stage of being really really afraid of rejection, i just imagine myself in that situation and start feeling such pain at the humiliation it would entail.

and when i do meet a guy i really like (as i have recently) i just know that i will never be able to get up the courage and that if i ever did that he would know straight away.. cue even more humiliation.

ok hope you can take the time to help me out.

i feel so alone...

The Corinthian

Originally posted by cornell babe
its just ive never met any boy that i actually wanted to kiss...

You're a lesbian.

cornell babe

ah, if only it was that easy...

ill rephrase it for you.. circumstances have just never all come together at the same time, someone that likes me that i like back and that i feel i can trust.

ykt0di9url7bc3

Has any boy actually made a move on you?

cornell babe

yeah a good few but i just never wanted to....

and then this guy i really really liked last year did but ive built up such a complex about it that even when its a guy i really like...

im just terrified about and that makes me feel pathetic which makes me more terrified and i dont know anyone else in this situation which means i have noone to talk to .

can you imagine how lonely it is for me??

i want to overcome this and have fun while im at college!!!

Amz

The only advice I can give is go for it!

At some point you're going to have to go out on a limb and experience the fear of asking/saying to someone that you like them!

Seriously the worst they're going to say is no thank you or something similar as I doubt you're going to be going after complete arseholes. Granted there's the fear of the awkwardness afterwards but if that doesn't happen just think of all the good times you're going to have if they don't decline!!

I really need to work on the advice giving but that's all I can say.

There are far more experienced people around who'll give much better advice but just speaking from the position of someone who is also painfully shy about such things.

*shrug*

Cabaal

Originally posted by cornell babe
i want to overcome this and have fun while im at college!!!

Just curious is this your first year going to college?
If it is, don't worry believe it or not college will make aabit/alot of the shyness disappear.
Either way it will certainly help alot

Well worked for me....

The Corinthian

Originally posted by cornell babe
ill rephrase it for you.. circumstances have just never all come together at the same time, someone that likes me that i like back and that i feel i can trust.

Guys will often be as shy, if not more so, than girls. Add to this some younger, inexperienced guys wouldn’t see the tell-tail signs of a woman’s interested in them unless it was being waved in their face.

Thus, learn to flirt outrageously, with some chaps you practically have to wave a big bell crying “come and get it” before they get the hint - Lot’s of tactile and eye contact and ‘messing about’ that would be termed as sexual harassment in a court of law is advised.

If all else fails, get him drunk and wear landing lights on your legs.

cornell babe

but its not im in my final year! and even though ive got to know loads of people and made loads of friends its just never happened for me and i know youre all prob all saying to yourself

'she must be truly hideous!!! aaaaaaaagggh lets escape to the gulag!!!'

...im not.

after two years of my friends nearly bludgeoning me into it i have finally been able to look in the mirror and see maybe not a supermodel but not an ugly duckling either.

and you know what gets to me the most?
its supposed to be a positive thing that you enjoy but i have begun to dread it so much...

i just cant stand the whole cattle shed approach to discos since i started going years and hearing both the boys and the girls saying horrible things about each other after....
and i never wanted to buy into it

and now look where its got me....
sigh

cornell babe

thanks corinthian for that...

lordsippa

Simple answer is that there is no simple answer to the problem. Basically, you're gonna have to someday puck up the courage to go for it. You're gonna have to realise that if things go wrong it's not the end, or indeed all that bad. It's all about mindset, and once you don't keep up at someone after a rejection it rarely gets super weird (there'll be a brief period). So seriously, just let go and do it.

Oh and incidentally, I know it's a lot easier to say that than do anything but it's honestly the only thing I can say. The problem lies within you conquering your own fears, and being able to take a chance. Nothing anybody here will say can help you until you can find it in yourself to just let go and go for it.

So yeah. Be happy. It's not all that hard. Just requires telling every nagging bit of your mind to STFU!

cornell babe

ok thanks

mneylon

Corinthian may be a little blunt at times, but he's right.
Go for it!

LegacyUser

I know what your talking about. I'm 19 and also haven't kissed anyone. It's worse for guys (which i am), people bragging about how often they've had sex... sigh...

I just was a loner for a few years... But now I suffer from the bigest obstical to all this... shyness...

Doodee

Originally posted by cornell babe


i just cant stand the whole cattle shed approach to discos since i started going years and hearing both the boys and the girls saying horrible things about each other after....
and i never wanted to buy into it

and now look where its got me....
sigh

err... i found that now when i look back upon the disco's that they were just sheds of immaturity.

Girls and guys change with age, and although not all lads, mature when they hit their late teens a few do.

Your shyness is down to being inexperienced. your insecure as to what they may or may not say.

so all in all it depends on who you want your first kiss to be with.
If you just wanna get it over and done with then fire away to some bogger town, get yourself drunk and do as The Corinthian said.

If u fancy trying it with some bloke who you "think" is worth it then just be honest about it.
Everyone has to start somewhere, and if people are going to critise you for being inexperienced then they themselves are just having an immature outlook on it.

go out, have fun, and get texting. Some people will say the dirtiest things via text

The Corinthian

Originally posted by cornell babe
thanks corinthian for that...

I'm sorry petal, but there's really no easy answer to your dilemma. Given this, it’s not all that difficult a prospect either.

Alternatively, go to one of the next Boards Beer bashes and I’ll see what I can do for you...

kaimera

go to the next Boards Beer or other event and meet Merc, he'll make all your probs go away

Boston

Same story here, but un like you i really couldn't give a bollox. I mean its quite easy to do if you want to, but i've never been into treating people like ****e just to get off with them. No problem talking to girls at all, once they arn't air heads, some times i go to far and they end up thinking of a nut job, but besides that every things grand.

Sarky

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My first kiss was around when I was 20.

It's not like it's a major thing to obsess over.

Bide your time and suchlike. Not much point kissing someone you really don't want to kiss...

DerekD Goldfish

Dont worry to much about it I know what youre going thru
I was fairly old(not 20 but reletivly old) before I had my first kiss I used to get extremly shy eyery time anybody showed any interest(think stan in south park).
All my friends were older and would be sitting there talking about doing such and such with girl x and I was left feeling like a outcast.
the self doubt would kick in what if I dont do it right what if she tells everybody im crap at kissing and I end up alone forever and all that rubbish as said before just ignore this self doubt and just let nature take its course.
After the first time it gets a lot easier Im still a fairly shy bloke but not in the crippilingly shy way I used to be.
And as Corinthian said blokes are completly oblivious to anything remotly subtle

LegacyUser

Youre not alone. I'm male & 20 and have never kissed a girl.

Long story.

LegacyUser

22 male - besides some fun girl 6 years ago, me neither.

Zombrex

I think you should just do it with anyone .. once you have you will no long feel bad about never kissing someone cause you will have done it ... then it doesn't really matter if you don't do it again for a long time, the social stigma will have gone

(that goes for everyone else here .. i had the same problem but once you have actually kissed someone it becomes a lot less of a big deal)


What is slightly puzzling is that you don't seem to actually want to kiss anyone? You seem afriad off it ... are you afraid of actually doing it, or are you afraid of getting close to someone?

Not everyone you kiss has to be "the one" or even someone you want to have a relationship with.

Lump

Just go for it girl..... No bloke is going to not kiss you if that makes sense. At least if you just kiss a random bloke well then when you want to kiss someone you really lioke then it will be alot easier..... To be honest, in this day and age what's a kiss anyway?



John

xx

Originally posted by cornell babe
but its not im in my final year! and even though ive got to know loads of people and made loads of friends its just never happened for me and i know youre all prob all saying to yourself

'she must be truly hideous!!! aaaaaaaagggh lets escape to the gulag!!!'

...im not.

after two years of my friends nearly bludgeoning me into it i have finally been able to look in the mirror and see maybe not a supermodel but not an ugly duckling either.

and you know what gets to me the most?
its supposed to be a positive thing that you enjoy but i have begun to dread it so much...

i just cant stand the whole cattle shed approach to discos since i started going years and hearing both the boys and the girls saying horrible things about each other after....
and i never wanted to buy into it

and now look where its got me....
sigh

Here's a thing. Post a picture of yourself here and you might just get some offers? Or go to one of the Boards Beer nights next time one comes up.
If all else fails, tell me what college you're going to and I'll go there myself and do the job. And you DON'T want that, so you better get yer thumb out and find some random punters to molest ;-)

WhiteWashMan

get over it

LegacyUser

<troll>

Perhaps talking to your friends would be a good solution. Did you just ask your 'friends' by posting this? Then you have bigger issues than not kissing a boy ever.

So here's how its going to be. Anyone who posted 'I've never kissed a girl either' or any of the like, just meet up with Cornell Babe and you can all get it over with.

There a strong chance that you're unattractive, and fat and so on, but so is everyone else on boards, so you're not out of luck.

Perhaps, while you're there, you can practice some social skills.

</troll>

lordsippa

Ho ho ho! When the mods sleep eh? <sigh>

Gordon

trolling unregged eh. Pfft newb!

Anyway, big deal if you haven't kissed a guy yet, you obviously haven't met a guy that you felt strong enough over, if you have there would have been sexual vibes on both parts and believe me you would have found the right time to kiss him.

Kissing may be fun but it's nothing to get emotionally upset over if you haven't done it yet. If you have to kiss someone and any old mucker will do just start chatting to someone in a pub/nightclub and tell him straight up "So when are you going to snog me lover boy?" I'd say that the guy would snog you, with all surety.

Good luck. Much licking happens on the boards beers (we're not all nerds like the unreged troll) it is fun for young and old. Come along one time. Or more.

Runfree

Originally posted by Kaimera
go to the next Boards Beer or other event and meet Merc, he'll make all your probs go away

Hehe.
I can help you solve the problem myself. doesn't even need to be the next Board Beer

RunFree

LegacyUser

I was 22 when i first kissed a person, I had plenty of offers, hell I'd been begged! but I could never go throught with it. I built it up so much that the older I got the harder it got to even consider approaching someone. But once I did I was so releaved, its a lot easier than you imagine and fun! :]

My advise just grab someone, anyone and just go for it, you'll feel so much better for it!

RicardoSmith

You've build it up to much in your head. Need to go on the tear with a few mates and snog someone (anyone) to break your duck. The big college parties (Uni's etc) would have been a good place to do this. To have done it or not to have done it isn't a big deal.

Tiesto

if u want a kiss so bad dont be so picky and just kiss any minger

Beruthiel

Originally posted by The Corinthian
I’ll see what I can do for you...

problem solved imo
case closed by sept 27th if you turn up!

Victor

Why not try a casual kiss on the cheek with someone first? Then a kiss on the side of the mouth and then on the lips and move on from there?

Breaks the ice nicely.

banquo

its true; we guys do tend to look straight through even the most obvious of signs.

you could just walk up to a guy at a bar, completely naked and with a sign around your neck saying "Ride Me2, and hte guy would just think to himself "Christ ... come lucky bastards gonna get a shag with her..."

if you're with a group of friends, just smile ata guy over the course of hte evening; address questions directly to him from across the room; get him something from the kitchen ...

these are the things that most guys will pick up as "signs", irrelevant to if you're wearing a neon hat.

Caesar_Bojangle

if u want a kiss so bad dont be so picky and just kiss any minger

Careful now. Last time I spoke ill of the mingers, some be-atch had a rant about feelings and the like.

Typedef

"It don't mean a thing... if it ain't got that swing"...

dum di dum.....

CivilServant

You're putting too much emphasis on your first kiss. Perhaps, I don't know if you want it to be super special like you've been imagining it all your life, that perfect moment in where time, earth, space etc stops for you. But if you feel bad that you haven't kissed anyone yet I suggest not waiting for the butterflies to come and like many before have said "just do it!"

LegacyUser

Don't kiss people you don't fancy just for the sake of having said you've kissed someone. I'm exactly like you, never wanted to kiss anyone. Kissed two guys I didn't fancy just to see what it was like and felt really pissed off with myself because it was rubbish. Really put me off the whole thing. You'll feel sick with yourself afterwards. If I kiss anyone again, it'll be because I want to and the moment is right and not because of some stupid idea that you have to have kissed someone by a certain age. And I'm not counting those guys as kisses.

Nevyn

well it isnt always a bad thing, some people treat kissing or snogging as something very casual; others dont.

Some people dont kiss people they if they dont have the intention of sleeping with them. Other treat a kiss or snogg as very casual and will happily shove thier tounge downs people necks even two or three a night and think nothing of it .

It depends on the level of that type of amouris physical contact you are happy to engauge with.

But it is nothing to be that worried about like all things in life it takes practice and some one that you are intrested in and give you the tingles my be a god awful sloppy uncordinated kisser.

Then again if they are too good the Gods only know where their tounge may have have been

maybe your not seeing the signals or too worried about it somethings in life the only way to learn is to do it.


But at a beer bash unless you really are intrested in someone there for your own right reasons you dont want it to be that much of a sepectale or do you

RicardoSmith

Theres a health and safety issue here too...

Tiesto

its not like ur dropping ur pants and bending over.
Its only a kiss!!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

And I'm not counting those guys as kisses.

that's nice.. , stupid.. but nice..

Tiesto

Originally posted by unreged_troll


There a strong chance that you're unattractive, and fat and so on, but so is everyone else on boards, so you're not out of luck.

haha speak for urself.

Sposs

Post a pic and we'll be able to help you better

Kali

i wouldnt worry about the whole kiss thing... the bigger problem is your shyness.. deal with that and everything else will come in due course .. go out have a bit of fun and try to be that little less concerned and uptight.

And for gods sake dont post where your going on here.. pm instead

Ken

Yavvy

I once had to speak to my little cousin who was 17 and he had never kissed a girl. He was a little shy but that wasnt the problem.

the problem was he had gotten all the way to 17 without kissing anyone and was now worried that if he kissed someone they would realise it was his first kiss and mock him or run away ...or something.

my advice to him was

1. people wont be able to tell its your first kiss, so many people kiss in different ways ( unless your shaking uncontrollably)

2. Kissing is a very steep learning curve, do it once and you will soon find how you like you like it and how you like to do it.

3. Try find someone you feel you can trust and have fun letting them teach you.

I dont know how muched this helped him but he does have a long term girlfriend now.

loismustdie

if you haven't kissed anyone yet you abviously do see kissin as a big deal but a few years kissing experiencec an you'll probably change your mind. but since you've waited this long you should do it with someone you really like. don't tell him becasue he really will never know but don't lie to him either it's just something that's none of his business and it's nothing to be ashamed of either. but stop thinking about it just get on wit your life and whenever you meet someone you'd like to kiss just relax and go with the flow. it's easier for girls becasue the lad will make the first move and if you want to go along with it but don't feel obliged. and lads could wait for the first move from a girl and in theory should but to b practical if you're in the right situation with a girl you'l know if she's interested just start kissing her. u could make it short it will jst look like you play hard to get or get a drink or somethin so there's not so much pressure.

ps - i can't believe there's 5 pages on this and i've just written so much on it too

Kell

Mmmn. Tnis might sound daft, but

1) select someone you like (preferably having known them for more than 2mins) and also someone that you fancy.

2) Tell them the story and that you would appreciate their help.

3) Snog face off them.

4) Tell us how it went

5) Alt ending- go to next boards beer. Ask someone to point Mercie, Corinthian or Typie out to you. They'll happily oblige.

Happened to me, save I was asked to take someones virginity for them (which of course I was happy to do). And no, it wasnt any of the fine chappies listed.

K-

Typedef

I refer the right honourable thread starter to article "5" of the pervious members post.

Good day.