That straight guy I like

LegacyUser

I am a regular user of this board (only recently) however I dont want to post under my normal log in name for fear of being classed as an attention seeker. I am still hung up about this guy, no matter as each day goes by I stil fell ****ed up, I am head over heals, I have felt like this for months and never felt as strongly about a guy, someone please tell me what to do. I know I posted this before but I feel ****e !

seamus

Ah, unrequited love, is there anything more horrible?

There's nothing you can do. If you make a move, he'll either hit you or never talk to you again. You can tell him, but it's not like a girlfriend telling him, he may freak out and try to avoid you. But if you know him, you know how he'll react.

I'd advise going on a long holiday, or trying not to see him for an extended period of time. It may get it out of your system.

Maybe some of the gay lads in here have been through this before and can help you

LegacyUser

Talk to him!
If youhaven't spoken to him before, make excuses to do so now.
From what i remember from your other thread, you've not even spoken to this guy, so you are inteligent, go about forming a plan on getting to know him, just as a friend in the same way as your other friends.
Do some investigative work for instance and find out his interests, then ask him about something you have in common.
If you don't have anything immediately in common, then invent something.
Ignore the fact that you are his senior by a year or two.

Then you will find out whether you *really* like this person or not and more importantly for now, if he likes you.

post back how you get on.

swiss

I think we've all been there at some point or another. Remember if he's straight (and theres no doubt about this) then even if you do tell him, nothing can possibly happen between ye. Whether you want to tell him or not is up to you, you probably would know how he would react better than anyone else here, but for what it's worth, I would advise against it. Even if he does accept it fairly well and even if he is flattered by it it can only strain relations between you and him.

Now, if you don't know whether he's straight or not, or if you happen to know if he's gay or bisexual, then disregard all of the advice above. You could try the direct approach, i.e "Are you gay?" but many guys will instinctively say "NO" as a defensive reaction. The best way to find out really, is to just talk to him. Usually things like partners and/or sexuality will just reveal themselves through the normal flow of conversation. If you find out that he is gay/bisexual and if you feel you have a reasonable chance (i.e he doesn't hate you) then by all means go for it!

Also remember that if things don't work out, then it's not the end of the world. Though it may not seem like it now, there will be other people and depending on how you handle those situations, you will find someone. Just think of this guy as a work in progress .

Andor

I was caught up for a couple of years on a heterosexual best friend, and to be honest i still have feelings for him.

The fact that he was in a relationship with a girl, not to mention extremely secure in his sexuality went right over my head as i convinced myself that I had a chance with this guy.

The fact of the matter is; if he's straight he will have no interest in you. He simply cant have an interest in you, its against his nature.
Its not his fault, and it certainly isn't yours for having feelings for him.

It is however, your problem. and it will continue to be your problem untill you get him off your mind.

STaN

is there a link to the other thread.

Where do you know him from.. college/work?

LegacyUser

Here is the other thread

I've just noticed I was mixing it up with another thread
So my first bit of advice is a tad out of kilter:o

But what swiss has said is sound

But also as you get on great with the guy, and since he knows you're Bi you should talk to him about how you feel.
Otherwise it *will* do your head in.
It will be awkward but is for the best 'cause at least then he should be sensitive towards your feelings and that should make being around him less of the ordeal it may be at times now.

You do have to sit yourself down though and realise if nothing is going to happen between you and him that theres lots more fun to be had out there and you should go out and enjoy it.

Remember also that if you have these feelings for him now, you *will* have them for someone else too once you meet that someone else, someone who will give you back as much as you are prepared to give them .
So theres light and lots of it at the end of this tunnell

dendenz

Its a tricky siutation, if u tell him how you feel then it'll be hell if he hits you, ignores you or says he doesnt want to be mates anymore.

Samson

Originally posted by window cleaner
I am a regular user of this board (only recently) however I dont want to post under my normal log in name for fear of being classed as an attention seeker. I am still hung up about this guy, no matter as each day goes by I stil fell ****ed up, I am head over heals, I have felt like this for months and never felt as strongly about a guy, someone please tell me what to do. I know I posted this before but I feel ****e !

Okay, I'm not queer, so you may choose to ignore what I have to say, but the I think the principal is the same.

Love or Lust?

I was in a similar situation some time ago with a particularly beautiful woman whom I had (or so I thought) fallen completely in love with. This went on for months, and I was getting myself very worked up. I had visions of us spending the rest of our lives together.

Eventually she did succumb to my charms and (for a while) we had a wonderful time together. But...
It wore off.
I have now come to realise that what I was feeling was strong lust, and basically once I had satisfied my urges, I did not feel the same at all. We still get on great, and (strangely) no-one was scarred. But there was no love there, on my part.

Perhaps, what you are feeling may be similar. And if the guy is completely straight, you risk embarrassing both of you and possibly losing his friendship.

If you make a conscious effort to get him out of your head (or heart) and concentrate on other matters (or guys) it might be better for you in the long run.

Zillah

If he does shoot you down horribly it will be unpleasant but it would almost certainly break your infatuation with him (ie he's bastard). Failing that, don't see him for a long time or find someone else to distract you.