I apologise for this one in advance!

McGintyMcGoo

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting
through a dustbin.

Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement,
> >>through the driving
> >> >rain,
> >> >he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into
> >>his road.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes,
> >>as the box approached
> >> >from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape
> >>more clearly....It was
> >> >a
> >> >coffin.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head
> >>down and started
> >> >walking briskly home.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started
> >>walking faster.........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >The coffin was closing with his every step, he
> >>started to jog, but he heard
> >> >the coffin speed up after him......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP....
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew
> >>the coffin was only
> >> >seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he
> >>pulled out his keys, his
> >> >hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived
> >>inside slamming the
> >> >front door behind him. He shot into his front room,
> >>and slumped into
> >> >his comfy chair.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin
> >>smashed its way through the
> >> >front door. The force of the impact broke the lock
> >>off the coffin allowing
> >> >the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it
> >>continued its chase.....
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his
> >>shaking legs could take
> >> >him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the
> >>door........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...HOP..BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the
> >>landing and launched
> >> >itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash,
> >>the bathroom door flew
> >> >off its hinges.....
> >> >
> >> >The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to
> >>approach the young
> >> >terrified lad.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached
> >>for his bathroom
> >> >cabinet......
> >> >
> >> >He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw
> >>it at the
> >> >coffin.......still it came ........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it
> >>........still it
> >> >came......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still
> >>it came......
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw
> >>it........
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >The coffin stopped.

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