Age differances

LegacyUser

Hi there i am a 20 year old fella going out with a 15 year old girl. Now i know some of you out there might find that a little bit perverted but i really do love her and i know she loves me. I just wanted to hear peoples opinons about the age thing, werther you think its wrong or if you think its all right.

Now please dont start going on about the sex thing because its not about that, we are in love but we come from a small place and people do talk so i would like to hear from males and females on this cause im not sure werther to break up over it or what.

Creamy Goodness

*** i don't care about age gaps because if you think of it this way when your say 30 she's 25 and that's respectable (not saying that it isn't now)

hope this helps

AL][EN

yea id agree nothing wrong wit going out with someone younger than you i've fallen for a woman 4 years younger than myself nuthin wrong wit that (she is 20 tho bit of a difference)

i know you love her and all that but just be careful as the legal age in this country is 16 (or is it 17 i cant quite remember) to have sex, im not saying its the first thing on your mind or what you even want but just to prepare you that there might come a time when she wants to be adventrous and take your relationship a little further so you just be careful mate or you'll end up in the joy

g'luck to you i hope it works out

Bottle_of_Smoke

hmmm i'm 18 and i recently decided no way on a 15(just gone 15 was 14 at the time) you're making me think again damn you! just as I was forgetting!

if you're in love id say dont worry I reckon by the time shes 17 maybe 18 it'l be perfectly sociably acceptable.

Just wondering what do her parents think?

Beruthiel

if she was 20 and you 25 then no problem

but she's a 15 year old kid who hasn't finished school yet and you are a 20 year old man who can basically come and go as he pleases
relationships can only lead down the sexual path, she is underage and mentally unprepared for someone your age.
think about that

hedgetrimmer

IMHHO, if you really love her, then you will let her grow up and evolve as a person through whatever relationships she needs as a teenager, and then, when she has lived her life to the degree where she has become fully happy, and if you have waited for her, then you will both have an even more stable relationship.

As I say, just my humble opinion

Kell

Hmmnn- not that I am one to talk, but your 20 and she's fifteen. Methinks thats a bit of a big gap at that age. 23 and 18 ok, 20 and 17 okish, 20 and 15- my gut feeling is nah. Sorry. As Ruthie said, 15 is very young to take onboard seriousness that you represent.

Kell wanders off whistling

K-

alienhead

dude, there's age gaps and there's age gaps, she's 15! your 20, nuf said.

Sleipnir

Beruthiel was right in saying that 20 and 25 is ok, 15 and 20 is not.
And the person who said
"think of it when you're 30 and she's 25, that's fine"
is absolutely right. They are both adults at that stage.
My (longtime) girlfriend is 5 years older than me and that's not a problem.
It's not the number of years that are in between but at what stage of maturity both people are at.

A 15 year old is not an adult and is FAR too young to decide she is love. (I think I was only ever in love with my bike at that age)

A 15 year old is not ready for a serious physical and emotional relationship. They just don't have the maturity to deal with all that can go with it.

TightCornerBack

Be Careful! The age of consent in Ireland is 17!!!

Typedef

I think you're a perv to be honest and/or highly immature.

20 and 15?

Get real a 15 year old is probably a 3rd year.

Get a clue.

lanky

Yes, right fair played to you for the passion and all.....

But you know you should be realistic, relationships are heavy things... and at 15 she should really be out enjoying herself, getting drunk in the park, studying for college, focosing on what she wants , cos she doesnt really know what she wants cos shes 15. she doesnt need to think for 2

That dude that posted that he was in love with his bike.. well he's right.... so was I I was in love with my Raleigh Dynatech titaniam framed bike....

HEr personality needs to form properly..... let her develop...

Women dont really know what they want really untill they are 26, they say, (Oprah et all hahah)

So I say.. forget all that relationship stuff....
go and enjoy yourself, get lots of birds while you can....
and let her find for herself who she is, rather than, somone looking over her shoulder all the time.....

I dont think the sex thing is any big deal from what i hear they are all doing now at 15 ..... so I see no problem with that really.. its up to her.

its the full relationship thing.. waste of time at that age.... it really is.. you are wasting her time.

So take control of you emotions and do the right thing......

Wook

try to imagine your the father of this young 15 year old , and she comes home with a 20years old telling you , they love each other... believe it ? or not ? Kids of 15 years old are not experienced enough to differentiate between your 20 year old wisdom and feelings with that of her own age group.
She most likely lookes up to you and the possibility of doing thing kids of her age can't.

break it off , grow up and 30 hail marry's

Typedef

Originally posted by Kell
23 and 18 ok

swipe:
sideways:

this general direction

28 & 40?

rebuttal.

koneko

Christ, can you not wait until the girl is at least 18? Or find someone your own age?

Break up with her and get back together when she's not a child.

Oh and I'd watch out if I were you. When her dad finds out you're going to be up the creek.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks very much for the opinons of everyone who repied. I think after reading them that it is an age gap of too much and i have decided to leave it off and break up. It was mainly a seasonaly thing anyway and what was said about her telling the parents and all that makes a lot of sense.

However i am not a pervert, this is the first time ive gone with somone a lot younger than me like that, every other realationship i was in was always the same age group, give or take a year. But i am going to end it now anyway and let her develop as you say, let her have her fun and if there is something there in a couple of years, then well and good. Thanks for the help, its well appreciated.

Typedef

fyi ... you are a perv

Beruthiel

Originally posted by mad_worried
I think after reading them that it is an age gap of too much and i have decided to leave it off and break up. It was mainly a seasonaly thing anyway and what was said about her telling the parents and all that makes a lot of sense

good move mw
stick to your decision

AngelofFire

5 years is a bit much at that age. well my ex is 18 and she goes out with a 24 year old buts that different. Your girlfriend is far less mature than you are and she is only trying to act all grown up by goin out with a 20 year old.

if you feel she is the right one for you wait till shes a bit older.

Victor

Yeah, perv comes to mind. Ever seen Trainspotting? Well your bird is two years younger than Diance from Trainspotting.

ferdi

i'm not going to call you a perv, BUT......if you really loved her you'd wait 2 years for her, so that you dont get done by the cops or have your legs broke by her older brothers.

she's 15 for fooks sake, i'm 18 and i wouldnt go near a 15 year old.

if its "the real thing" you can both wait two years without doing the nasty, i advise you to wait....you know what they do to kiddie fiddlers in prison, its just not worth it man.

Havelock

Annoying mods here but still, I don't agree at all. Its a standard approach that peopel seem to take here. A post of:
I'm x and my g/f is under 18. And everyone is all like thats perverted etc.
What happens when we get: Hi I'm Mary, I'm x and my boyfriend is under 18. I would but good money their would be far less dissapproval etc.

Yeah I see the points being made about being 15 etc, but not all 15 year olds are the same. As are not all 20 year olds are either. Its just the world is. Legalsative is not always the end all of everything. Ok, you can't sex legally for 2 years.
Its also a concern when two 15 year old go out. Like if their where the post of: I'm 17 and my g/f is 15?

Beruthiel you seem like your a parental type if not a parent yourself. Is not the happyness of your offspring important, what wuld you prefere brought home by your 15 year old daughter, the kind careing and sensible 20 year old or the 16 year old drug dealing car thief? Some parents have no problems with whom their daughters date, they have faith in their choices. And can always talk to both parties involed if there are any concerns. If my daughter brought home a 20 year old. I would reserve judgement until I knew his character.

This pediophila paranoia that is amoke in media is causing people to see evil in every age gapped relationship. Their are always real relationships and real feelings. Don't forget that love is blind to all obsticals.

elexes

Originally posted by mad_worried
cause im not sure werther to break up over it or what.

if ur asking this question because of what other ppl say and think your not in love and you already know the answer.

imo 5 years is nothing when she is 20 and ur 25. but at 15 there would be huge differences between the 2 of ye like u 2 cant even go to a pub after the cinema for a quiet pint and a chat

Kell

Originally posted by Havelock
Its a standard approach that peopel seem to take here. A post of:
I'm x and my g/f is under 18. And everyone is all like thats perverted etc.

Humm. The posters thus far seem 33.3/33.3/33.3 split of yes/no/you're a raving pervert.

Bar the ones who reckon our original poster is a perv, a lot of us have gone "erm- thats just not right" like the hula hoops advert- *der der derna derna der der* [cough]

Yes, not all 20yr olds and 15yr olds are the same, but taking the sum of percentages 15yr old girlies are "generally" not in a position to say "yes I love you for you". In my mind it might go along the lines of "its not the fact that you're 20 and my friends think I am soooo cool because I am sooo mature that I can see a 20yr old, honest *wink*". Not saying that this is the case, but hell it might be.

K-

Beruthiel

Beruthiel you seem like your a parental type if not a parent yourself. Is not the happyness of your offspring important

Havelock I am a parent of a 15 year old daughter, and she is a smart one, but she is still not ready for a 20 year old man, no 20 year old man is going to hang around for two years for sex and don’t tell me otherwise, I won’t believe it.

what wuld you prefere brought home by your 15 year old daughter, the kind careing and sensible 20 year old or the 16 year old drug dealing car thief?

she wouldn’t be that stupid, she has more respect for herself. Presently she is going out with a 15 year old, this she can handle because he knows what he can and cannot expect from her, I’m not sure a 20 year old has the same expectations.

If my daughter brought home a 20 year old. I would reserve judgement until I knew his character

I’ll wait until you have a 15 year old daughter and then we’ll see if you have revised this

I’m not so old that I cannot remember what I was like at 15, feelings and emotions can be quite extreme for a girl at this age, you feel everything so strongly and find it hard to handle it. You are going through a learning curve on how to handle your emotions and have some control over them. I believe from the ages of 14 to 18 or so this is quite intense. Sure you think you are madly and wildly in love, but in two months you can have those feelings for someone else. You can expect nothing else from a 15 year old, nor should you.

melancolique

I once went out with a guy who was 4 years older than me, we were together when I was 14, and it never was about sex either.

We were together for about 4 months when he broke up with me for no reason.

That was more than 4 years ago, and recently we started talking to each other again, although I felt like I couldn't forgive him for just dumping me for no reason (he didn't give any, so I never knew why).

Anyway, in April this year, he told me that it was because of our age difference, that people had been giving him **** about it.

We would still have been a happy couple if he didn't do that.

You said that you really love her. If you do, you wouldn't be thinking about breaking up with her about it, would you?

You don't dump someone because of their age, right after you've told half the country that you love her. Nah ah.

Havelock

Christ the concept of legalising the age 17 as the age of sexual consent is the most ridiculas thing I've ever heard. How many 17 you old virgins did any of you know, the majority of people have their first sexual intercourse at 15. The law for oral sex is 15. How can someone be ready for oral sex not be considered mature enought to be in a mature sexual relationship?

Havelock

NOT ALL REALTIONSHIPS ARE SEXUALY BASED

People, have none of you ever been in love, sex is secondary, it happens, but its not the cause or centre of the relationship.

rocco

go for it Dude

Typedef

once went out with a guy who was 4 years older than me, we were together when I was 14, and it never was about sex either.

We were together for about 4 months when he broke up with me for no reason.

That was more than 4 years ago, and recently we started talking to each other again, although I felt like I couldn't forgive him for just dumping me for no reason (he didn't give any, so I never knew why).

Anyway, in April this year, he told me that it was because of our age difference, that people had been giving him **** about it.

We would still have been a happy couple if he didn't do that.

You said that you really love her. If you do, you wouldn't be thinking about breaking up with her about it, would you?

You don't dump someone because of their age, right after you've told half the country that you love her. Nah ah.

That's so funny.

Girls think they're god's gift and sooo (mature) that they can go out with 18 year olds... when they're 14.

By the time I was 18.... my god, I probably wouldn't have even gone out with a 16 year old chick... (mostly because like it or lump it) me 18, do that (sex) with 16 would be statutory rape.

When I was 14 I thought I was grown up, but, the reality was that by the time I was 18/19, I pretty much knew I was a kid when I was 14.

Sadly, when you're 14 you don't know this and are an easy target for an immature male who can't pull chicks his own age... so he has to go for underagers (who typically) want to parade his presence/existance in front of their friends... because hey.. girls mature faster right?

This maturity allows them to carry that big (I'm mature) chip on the shoulder... what with the advanced skeletal structure.. that males of the same age... lack.

Reminds me of last Friday.

I asked a 15 year old chick.

"Hey baby(no pun)... wanna have a threesome?
Me... you ... and the chip on your shoulder !"

Kalina

Originally posted by Victor
Yeah, perv comes to mind. Ever seen Trainspotting? Well your bird is two years younger than Diance from Trainspotting.

Yeah, but hopefully mad_worried isn't as crazy as Renton was!!!

Typedef

Originally posted by Havelock
People, have none of you ever been in love, sex is secondary, it happens, but its not the cause or centre of the relationship.

Cutting a bit close the bone Havelock?

Do you have a 14 year old girlfriend?

As far as I know, it's still legal to marry your 14 year old cousin in some Confederate States in the US!!

At least it was when Gerry Lee Louis did it!

Stark

Is it alright for Martin to go out with Katie

Kell

Originally posted by Typedef
When I was 14 I thought I was grown up, but, the reality was that by the time I was 18/19, I pretty much knew I was a kid when I was 14.

Yes, but yer still a kid Typie. A cool one though. I could just dress you up in a Dunnes Boutique denim jacket and a baseball cap! Aww.

K-

God I am sooo slow. Just noticed your 18/23 reference ther Types. It was inadvertant. K-

eirebhoy

oh i love coronation street;)

embee

Its a little odd I will admit, but I find myself wondering....

If it was a 15 year old guy going out with a 20 year old lady would people be so disapproving. In fact, a bloke would be totally applauded for it "Cool, man, you scored an older woman" and all that.

Give the girl a bit of credit. Some of ye make it sound like shes a brainless twit with no mind of her own. She is 50 % of that relationship and ur man seems cracked in the head about her. As long as they are sensible and take it handy, more feckin power to em I say.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by embee
If it was a 15 year old guy going out with a 20 year old lady would people be so disapproving. In fact, a bloke would be totally applauded for it "Cool, man, you scored an older woman" and all that.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?postid=869107#post869107

Give the girl a bit of credit. Some of ye make it sound like shes a brainless twit with no mind of her own. She is 50 % of that relationship and ur man seems cracked in the head about her. As long as they are sensible and take it handy, more feckin power to em I say.

If she is fifteen and he is twenty, then giving her credit is irrelevant as regardless of her maturity, such a relation, if sexual, is illegal.

If it’s not sexual, then he’s lying - a twenty year-old guy who loves a fifteen year old girl for her mind? Right :rolleyes:

I’m surprised that no one seems to have raised that point.

Nevyn

It depends on the 15year old.

I was 15 once and knew just what the hell I was up too,
mind he didnt know I was 15 till a lot later, very handy way to get rid of him was to let it slip.

but if the 15 year old reguardless of gender is not mature enough they are at risked of getting seriously messed up.

A 15 year old boy being preyed upon by an older woman can be as damaged as a 15 year old girl being preyed upon by an older man.

Havelock

Typedef: Must admit being somewhat of an agent provocateur

Yeah 15 year old know what they are doing. You can't just call the guy a perv. Anyway he's said he dumped her (the silly git).

Typedef

Actually I can ... watch.

He's a perv. A 20 year old man, with a 15 year old child-girl is pervy, in my book.

Either that or he's so immature as to be almost retarded and yes....

Yes, but yer still a kid Typie. A cool one though. I could just dress you up in a Dunnes Boutique denim jacket and a baseball cap!

If you have five dollars!!

LegacyUser

ok ok ok hold on here a minute now, what the hell is all this talk about me being a pervert. In my town there are blokes that are 24 and 25 going out with 16-17 year olds.

I am not with her because of perverted reasons i am with her because i really dso like her. I am also 19 years of age but i am 20 in November and i will be 20 while shee is still 15 for a bit. I think the ones who have being making all the pervert comments are in fact those with the dirty minds.

Also she is not some little kid incapable of making her own decesions, jesus to hear you all talk you would swear that i had some toddler brainwashed into doing whatever i wanted her but it is most certainly not like that. Also it was her that asked me out. True i fancied her but there was not a hope i would have made the first move. Also her sister was going out with a 21 year old when she was 15 or 16 or something like that.

Not too sure if all that has changed your mind about the way i am but i hope it has.

Typedef

Whatever man.

Maybe there's something in the water in your town. Phosphorous from farms... or estrogen from contraceptives...

LegacyUser

yeah i bet your a real stud man, bet your a real hit with the ladies, do you tell them all your a moderator on boards.ie, bet they love you, set me up man set me up!!!

Beruthiel

Settle down lads

Victor

Originally posted by Havelock
the kind careing and sensible 20 year old

Has anyone met any of these?

Originally posted by mad_worried
ok ok ok hold on here a minute now, what the hell is all this talk about me being a pervert. In my town there are blokes that are 24 and 25 going out with 16-17 year olds.

So have you been introduced to her parents as her bf yet?

Kali

It's a good thing you don't live in Coronation St.

Nevyn

lol

Hobbes

Originally posted by Victor
Has anyone met any of these? So have you been introduced to her parents as her bf yet?

unlikely, as regardless of putting up with flack or not her parents can have him arrested for statutory rape

Typedef

Originally posted by mad_worried
yeah i bet your a real stud man, bet your a real hit with the ladies, do you tell them all your a moderator on boards.ie, bet they love you, set me up man set me up!!!

To be honest.

All of my girlfriends are old enough to decide (according to the law) wether or not they consent to sexual relations.

You might try it sometime.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
All of my girlfriends are old enough to decide (according to the law) wether or not they consent to sexual relations.

Alzheimer’s not withstanding

Havelock

Parents can't press charges. Neither can the state. Only she can.