Longest Post....madness serious!

FreaK_BrutheR

>> SYNONYMS FOR MASTURBATION>> > >
>> > > Having a session with the wise master
>> > > Hand start the one eyed yogurt thrower>> > > Memory Bank Spank
>> > > Gettin' jizzy with it>> > > Cleaning the snorkel
>> > > Mugging the Kojak Doll>> > > giving flipper a backrub
>> > > Makin' puddin'>> > > Shaking hands with Mr. Happy
>> > > making sewer babies>> > > dating the sisters
>> > > ****in the Gun>> > > Filling up the belly button well
>> > > Conditioning the leather>> > > Rubbing one off
>> > > Satisfying King Solomon>> > > Inflating the Zepplin
>> > > Massaging the Marrionette, no strings attatched
>> > > Extracting a core sample>> > > Enforcing the "No Fly Zone"
>> > > Digital Manipulation of the Coital Apparatus
>> > > Testin out the magic love wand
>> > > The Rise and Fall of Peter the Great
>> > > Firing the Surgeon General>> > > Squeaky the squirrel
>> > > Taking Herman to the circus>> > > Freeing the soldiers of love
>> > > Boobytrapping a toilet seat>> > > Galloping the lizard
>> > > Five finger boogie on the blue vein
>> > > Tickling little tommy behind the ear
>> > > Walking the one eyed dog>> > > Making gravy
>> > > Humpping the old hand>> > > Greasing The Baseball Bat
>> > > One man tug of War>> > > Hang The Hampster
>> > > 5 Digit Disco>> > > Rockin the lil' man in the boat
>> > > The disappearing cigar trick>> > > Male polishing the stinger
>> > > Checkin' the tweeters
>> > > Shaking hands with the wifes wedding present
>> > > Lauchin' the heat seeking moisture missle
>> > > Fileting the trouser trout>> > > Jerkin' my johnson
>> > > Latherin' the latin love lance
>> > > Pendin' to the will of the one eyed purple warrior
>> > > Spew from the column of delight>> > > Honkin' bobo
>> > > Ridin' the one eyed wonder horse
>> > > Sayin' hello to my little friend>> > > Prostate Maintenance
>> > > Honkin' the burritto>> > > Pickle dancing
>> > > Skippin' rocks off the lake of love>> > > Shaving the cucumber
>> > > Faxing a hard copy to the Castro>> > > Walking the dog
>> > > Using the Force>> > > Floggin' the dolphin
>> > > Whippin' up some baby batter>> > > Feeding your trouser-mouse
>> > > Joltin' the bean>> > > **** the cannon
>> > > Supply and Demand>> > > Puttin' mayo on the knuckle sandwich
>> > > Doin' the hand-jive>> > > Firing the photon torpedoes
>> > > Shootin putty at the moon>> > > The sperm manicure
>> > > Putting the dog's eye out>> > > Rubbing the nub
>> > > Saying hi to big Jim and the twins>> > > Verifying your manhood
>> > > Worshiping the fist prince>> > > Yanking the penal cord
>> > > Flushing babies>> > > The two fisted monkey slap
>> > > The blob blaster>> > > Spewin' crude>> > > **** your crank
>> > > Skankin' the pickle>> > > Smackin' the pudge
>> > > Unrolling the turtle neck>> > > Unsheathing the shlong
>> > > Shining the helmet>> > > Dressing up like the mail man
>> > > Spit shinin' the trophy>> > > Making love with miss Right
>> > > Spin the humming top>> > > Letting off a few wrist rockets
>> > > Freeing the Willies>> > > Pettin' the Parrot
>> > > Punchin' the Munchkin>> > > Spankin' the Monkey
>> > > Slappin' the Salami>> > > Chokin' the Chicken
>> > > Carressin' the Cucumber>> > > Doin' the Mighty Wang Chung
>> > > Shinin' the Shaft>> > > Tweakin' the Totem Pole
>> > > Lubricatin' the Piston>> > > Beatin' the Meat
>> > > Armin' the Torpedo>> > > Playin' One Arm Bandit
>> > > Playin' One Eyed Bandit>> > > Playin' the Skin Flute
>> > > Fondlin' the Fountain>> > > Churnin' Butter
>> > > It's the Middle School Rodeo
>> > > Knuckle Shuffle on the **** Pump>> > > Gushin' the Geyser
>> > > Milkin' the Hieffer>> > > Squeezin' the Squirrel
>> > > Jerkin' Off>> > > Pullin' the Pud>> > > Pullin' a Pee-Wee
>> > > Goin' Blind>> > > Growin' Hair on the Palms
>> > > Waxin' the Dolphin>> > > Beatin' the Bishop
>> > > Jerkin' the Gerkin>> > > Wackin' Off
>> > > Poundin' the Pepperoni>> > > Cleanin' the Canoli
>> > > Special Saucin' the Big Mac>> > > Fondlin' the Fahita
>> > > Bangin' the Burrito>> > > Heistin' the Jewels
>> > > Hustlin' the Hog>> > > Waxin' the T-Bird
>> > > Polishin' the Rocket>> > > Gettin' Your Pole Varnished
>> > > Chaffin' the Chiwawa>> > > Makin' the Meat-Whistle
>> > > Torquin' the Taliwacker>> > > Fist ****in'
>> > > Givin' it a Tug>> > > Shaking Hands with the Unemployed
>> > > Pounding your Pud
>> > > Polishing the Bishop (the chess piece that bears a>resemblence
>> > to the>> > > male>> > > member)>> > > Beatin' the boner
>> > > Handlin' the hard on>> > > Yankin' your chain
>> > > Sanding the woody>> > > Lubricating the love stick
>> > > Sharpening the pencil>> > > Tickling old one-eye
>> > > Making the cyclops fight the five headed monster until he>cries
>> > > Grabin' the grouse>> > > Spaklin' the ceiling
>> > > Bopin' the baloney>> > > Drainin the main vein
>> > > Worshipin the finger prince>> > > Pumping the revolver
>> > > Shootin the 6 shooter>> > > Polishing the family jewels
>> > > Waxing your Rocket>> > > Spilling milk
>> > > Workin' the glue stick>> > > Pleasin' the turtle
>> > > Playin "hookey">> > > Lacin up the winter boots
>> > > Walkin the bearded one-eyed love dog
>> > > Beatin' the **** outta my best friend
>> > > Makin' a knuckle hot dog>> > > Cuffin the carrot
>> > > Chuggin the choo-choo>> > > Making me "Love" in the hand
>> > > Squeezing the cream out of the flesh Twinkie(tm)
>> > > Makin' Jonny Walker red>> > > Playin' Rumple Foreshin
>> > > Wrestlin' the Bald Headed Champ>> > > Punching the Clown
>> > > Jackin' off>> > > Beatin' off>> > > Pluckin' the duck
>> > > Milkin' the cow>> > > Chokin' the snake
>> > > Washing your hands>> > > Tuggin' the Tapioca Tube
>> > > Gettin' to be better friends with Willy>> > > Just sayin' "Hi"
>> > > Stretching before strenuous exercise>> > > Tamin' Goliath
>> > > Corraling the Tadpoles>> > > Jacking my Mule
>> > > Floggin' yer dummy
>> > > Roughin' up the suspect (Cause you know he's guilty)
>> > > Puttin' miles on your monkey>> > > Gettin' a little off-hand
>> > > Taking old one eye to the cleaners>> > > Pudding puke session
>> > > Cuffin' the pud>> > > Polishin' the cane
>> > > Squeezin' the crest>> > > Giving seamen shore leave.
>> > > Whipping the mole>> > > Polishing My Oscar>> > > Tossin' off
>> > > Greasing the axle>> > > shaking hands with the president
>> > > Playing with Mr. bubbles>> > > Rubbing the rhubarb
>> > > Squeezing the squash>> > > Stroking the bird
>> > > Stroking the meat and paying the butcher>> > > Boxing the Jesuit
>> > > Riding the Great White Knuckler
>> > > Pulling Mr. Weasel from the grave>> > > Popin' the porpoise
>> > > Ticklin' the pickle>> > > Whittling Wood
>> > > A Visit from Mother Fist>> > > A Date with Senorita Mano
>> > > Bludgeon the Beefsteak>> > > Clean your rifle
>> > > Hitchhike under the Big Tent
>> > > Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
>> > > Lopin' your mule>> > > Smackin' your haddock
>> > > Floggin' your log>> > > Playing tug-o-war with cyclops
>> > > Gettin a visit from ol huey the hand humpin hamster
>> > > Giving the pope a stroke>> > > Going to war with the Boar
>> > > Doing the inner pants-dance>> > > Milk the bull
>> > > Maiming Jane until she's lame>> > > Hurting burt until he squirts
>> > > Scare the bear>> > > Cheat the meat>> > > Toot the flute
>> > > Nail the whale>> > > Maull the mouse/monkey (any M animal)
>> > > Growing a tree then chopping it down
>> > > Whipping your own cream>> > > Producing and consuming
>> > > Wetting the whistle>> > > Bop the mop>> > > Pulling the bull
>> > > Flogging the old dog>> > > Makin' mayo
>> > > Butterin the corn>> > > Goin eye to eye with johnny hung
>> > > Dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters>> > > Eruptin' the volcano
>> > > Yankin' the crank>> > > Realizing you'll never get any
>> > > Pullin' the pickle>> > > Performin' an organ solo
>> > > Helpin' Tom Sawyer white-wash the fence
>> > > Winnin' a taffy-pulling contest
>> > > Jiggling the branch to shake the nuts loose
>> > > Pumping the shotgun>> > > Getting ready for Rover!
>> > > Making your own porno
>> > > Having an intelligent conversation with Dick.
>> > > Polishing your porpoise>> > > Stretchin' the muscle
>> > > Whackin' your Pud>> > > Running a batch off by hand
>> > > Pulling rank on private one-eye!>> > > Grindin' the Goo Shooter!
>> > > Givin' the sheep a break!
>> > > Doin' hard time in the hand slammer!>> > > Waxing the Pole
>> > > Chokin' Kojak>> > > Whippin' the pony>> > > Winding the watch
>> > > Sqeeze it sqeeze it>> > > Doin' the old ya-da-ta-da
>> > > Shaking hands with the governor>> > > Onan Up
>> > > Whacksin Nostalgic>> > > Spittin' at the witch
>> > > Crankin' the corona>> > > Grippin' the spigot
>> > > Churnin' The Butter>> > > Taking his medication
>> > > Being your own best friend>> > > ****in the weasel
>> > > Playing with your hand puppet
>> > > Taking the bullet out of the chamber>> > > Lubin' the tube
>> > > Tugging yer slug>> > > Having a five-knuckle-shuffle
>> > > Having an assignation with the five-fingered widow
>> > > Goin' surfin' on mount baldy>> > > Shakin' hands with beef
>> > > All alone in the gas station of love using the self-service>pump
>> > > Romancin' the bone>> > > Assassinatin' the president
>> > > Empowerin' the little guy>> > > Wappin' your weenie
>> > > Whippin' the lizard>> > > Tamin' the snake
>> > > A date with Rosie Palmer and her five lovely sisters
>> > > Glazzing the knuckle>> > > Fondlin' The Pheasant
>> > > Stretchin' the Silly Putty>> > > Ancient Chinese stress reliever
>> > > The noiseless hobby>> > > Playing the drums with your only stick
>> > > Family planning with Mrs. Hand>> > > Whittlin' the stick
>> > > Having an affair with Mrs. Digits
>> > > Rumplin' the Foreskin in Pandora's Box>> > > Pounding the pork
>> > > Salutin' captain winky>> > > Fixing the plumbing
>> > > Stroking the monkey>> > > Petting the monkey
>> > > Paintin' breasts on the wall>> > > Paddling My Pork
>> > > Coming to grips with reality>> > > Getting ahold of yourself
>> > > Living life in the fast lane and getting pulled over by the>Palm
>> > > Police.>> > > Donating sperm to the Floor Bank
>> > > Tugging on the leash>> > > Irrigating the bed
>> > > Giving the carpet a midnight snack>> > > Uprooting a big mushroom
>> > > Trying on a hand-shaped condom
>> > > Letting the little prisoners free
>> > > Praising your single-eyed, hairless god
>> > > Saluting the Commander
>> > > banging the bottle to get that little bit out.
>> > > (kinda like katsup)>> > > Having an Oscar-Meyer moment
>> > > Poppin' a willie>> > > Shinin' your rifle
>> > > Visit Mary thumb and her four daughters
>> > > Shaking the dew off the water lily
>> > > trying to make one eyed willy puke
>> > > playing a little game of five on one
>> > > romancing lady five fingers>> > > Beating the Bait
>> > > Buffing the Banana>> > > Burping the Worm
>> > > Charm the Cobra>> > > Holding Your Sausage Hostage
>> > > Jackin' the Beanstalk>> > > Jenny Macarthy Jaunt
>> > > One Handed Clapping>> > > Pam Anderson Polka
>> > > Play the Organ>> > > Rolling The Fleshy Blunt
>> > > Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ>> > > Tease the Python
>> > > The Sticky Page Rhumba>> > > Tickle The Elmo
>> > > Tussle with Your Muscle>> > > White Water Wristing
>> > > Winding the Jack In The Box>> > > Five-knuckle chuckle
>> > > Arguing for land-rent with a landlord

Hecate

how about we bring in some maths to this:

girl comes along, boy says: "I'll subtract your clothes, add you to my bed, you'll divide your legs and we'll multiply".

Cheez

You forgot
Pullin' yer plum
and Waxin' William
but there's enough there anyway

WhiteWashMan

didnt see having a w@nk either

Riker

Jerkin' the Gherkin

..or however you spell that piece of sh!t MacDonalds put on their burgers

Jay

Feeding the ducks?

Chief

-= The Damn Muppetry!!! =-
FFS
Good practice btw there FreaK_BrutheR, how many orgasms did it take to come up with each one? *Cough*

3=O]