[Love Letters] Forgotten Memories

Roller Toaster

Last night I stumbled across our love letters. They were hidden away in an old dusty cardboard box just out of reach in the back of the attic. Blowing off the dust from them I slowly opened the now crumbling cardboard box. Instantly a thousand memories filled my mind, the sweet aroma of your hair on that cold winter night we spent by the river, the scent of the bread you used to cook down in my mother's old home seemed to suddenly fill the attic and then fritter away before I could grab it. I carefully opened the box as though cradling that child that never came. I always thought you blamed yourself for that but at least you don't or can't anymore. The letters were all carefully filed away in your usual manner, sorted by received date along the top and by person along the side. Opening a single letter I was greeted with a million thoughts and aspirations from two crystal clear minds both fused together by the pure emotions that we had for each other. I still have them as strong as I ever did and I've always hoped that you still had them too buried below that prison constructed around you by the sands of time. The joy expressed in those blotched ink marks where I would trail off thinking about nothing but you suddenly smacked me in the face with the realisation of what you've lost and in turn of what I've lost from you. The attic began to spin with the force of the feelings and confusion that entered my shattered mind and I knew I had to get down to the safe surroundings below. I carefully clambered down the ladder with the box under arm as though it was a bomb primed and the slightest jolt would set it off.
I'm not sure what happened as I came down those stairs, the blinding white light was piercing into my core but somehow I ended up in the small comfort of that pure white couch of ours. The only stain on it is the one the day before you were taken away, you knocked over your dinner as you questioned my identity for the fourth time that hour and the gravy bit into the cushion as it dribbled down to the darkness of the back like the tears that ran down my face and into the cold sterile surface of the sink later that night and every night since. I sat down on the right hand side, carefully avoiding the brown stain and began reading through all the letters. Time had no meaning as I read those letters, I was transported back to the thirties to our first dance, then forward into the fifties for the last filed letter. Patches of memories and moments cut through the gray shroud for seconds but it was enough. All I could think about is how much I miss you. Do you still miss me? Do I even enter your mind anymore? I, despite all my hope and prayers very much doubt it. You're so close yet so far away, only five minutes down the road and yet in another world. Alzheimer's has taken you away from me both mentally and physically, I wish I had the strength to look after you now in your final hours of need but I can barely walk and I can't bare to see you like that. I wish Alzheimer's would take me too, so I could forget the pain I feel about losing you and live in that innocent world you live in now with you. I can't though, I'm stuck here on the other side in our empty house with my sanity and that drives me insane. If you only remember one thing in the final hours of your illness remember that, I love you.

MarcusGarvey

Very good Roller Toaster.

But would you consider spacing it so its easier to read or are you going down the Pynchon/Joyce route ?

Roller Toaster

Well I wanted to make it look like one continuous flow of unstoppable thoughts, putting it into little neat paragraphs made it seem too organised. Originally there wasn't any at all but it made it very hard to read so I decided that the transition between upstairs and downstairs was the best place to put one in. I'm usually quite organised in terms of paragraphs et al but I thought I'd make an exception for this one.

MarcusGarvey

Ahhhhhh, excellent. Now I see. ww) I love when people make use sof such devices, once the actualy content is good quality as well. Here this is true.

Roller Toaster

Thanks for all the positive comments Marcus, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do too. I like the fact that it looks like such a closed topic, that of love letters but there is a lot of latitude within that title for doing pretty much anything. The one I plan to write for the next topic, Suspense is more of a narritive with a tighter structure and I'm hoping it will give a nice contrast to that story above.

Doctor J

Originally posted by Roller Toaster
Last night I stumbled across our love letters. They were hidden away in an old dusty cardboard box just out of reach in the back of the attic.

How did you reach them eventually?

Roller Toaster

Carefully

oddlyaromatic

Nicely written. Especially towards the end, the introduction of context was very effective, very emotional.

Billy Turdhed

Im all broke up here... bent outa shape ..remembering the late Bertha Turdheds letters... such memories ..such excitement.such pathos....

Sorry cant take this seriously... goin for a tube of stout...not in the mood


A flippant W Turdhed


Nice writing though

DriftingRain

Made me all all emotional....Great job!
~DR~