This is Funny

Yavvy

this is fecking deadly .....

Got this on the mail this morning from a Tyrone lass. If you're from Tyone and have no sense of humour click your "back" button now. Do not pass go, do not collect £200, (do not dive on the ground!).

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Reporter Well Peter, here it is, Sam’s in Tyrone at last. Tell me Peter, why did you let on for the last lot of weeks that you were hurt when really there was **** all wrong with you?

Peter Well I wanted to make sure that I was the topic of conversation as usual. One or two of the other lads had started to grab a few headlines, you know, Eoin, Cormac and some of them, so I hatched this ‘injury’ thing. But my leg is a wee bit sore because I’m old now and have been a great servant to the Tyrone cause.

Reporter Is that why you got the other forwards to dive closer to the goals, to make it easier for yourself to put them over?

Peter Yes

Reporter And what was all that about going off and coming back on, was that a tactical move or do you just like a big cheer when you come on?

Peter Tactics. Mickey and me thought that if……..well mostly tactics. Mickey and me thought that if I came on…………..well partly tactics. Mickey and me thought that the lads would……………..well it was only a wee bit of tactics really. Mickey and me…..well…….just me really, thought it would be great if I came on to a tumultuous welcome with about ten minutes to go.

Reporter Peter, that’s not tactics, that’s just you getting a big cheer isn’t it?

Peter Yes

Reporter Ach, sure look who’s just joined us…the blondie boy. Eoin tell us, did you hit Francie with your elbow or fist in the first minute?

Eoin I couldn’t be sure, maybe a bit of both, but it worked like a dream, he got booked for it.

Reporter Come in Conor Gormley… Conor… great block at the end from Stevie McDonnell. What was going through your mind?

Conor Just to get down to block the ball if I could.

Reporter So you never considered how lucky you were to still be on the field, that the referee was going to book you for a second time a few minutes earlier, but noticed you were from Tyrone and chickened out? None of that entered your tiny little mind?

Conor slopes away, a little confused.

Reporter And here’s Philip. Philip, what was going through your mind as you charged at Diarmaid Marsden midway through the second half?

Philip I was going to hit him, but as I got closer he didn’t run away. So I **** myself, and he put his hands up to protect himself and I fainted because I thought he was going to hit me. And lo and behold, by the time I came round, wee Ryan was applauding something. So I thought Diarmaid must have scored a goal, but Ryan was in fact applauding the ref for sending Diarmaid off for nothing. Wee Ryan’s always doing that, he’s a cat wee man. Look here he comes now.

Ryan Hi

Reporter **** off Ryan, ye hateful wee bastard.

Reporter Let’s bring in Brian Dooher, Brian…. You’re on your feet…..howcome?

Brian Sorry?

Reporter No you’re not ye ****ing diving midget. Now here he is, the man who brought Sam into Tyrone for the first time ever, the bus driver. Hey bus driver have you seen Mickey Harte?

Driver He’s in Boots getting a Gillette Mach 3…….ah here he is.

Reporter Mickey…what’s the Mach 3 for, ye dirty looking tramp?

Mickey Peter’s head

Reporter You shave Peter’s head?

Mickey Jaysus, Peter’s the best player in Ireland, you can’t expect him to shave it himself.

Reporter Brian, come in….Brian McGuigan….can I ask you…. Was your da…..the great Frank McGuigan at the match today?

Brian He was.

Reporter I bet he thinks you’re a proper useless ****er, eh?

Brian McGuigan swings a punch, misses, but Brian Dooher, standing 17 yards away, falls over and gets a free from Brian White who has just arrived on the scene, late as usual.

Reporter Brian, ye Wexford hoor ye, what the **** would you and those umpires know about football? Did yez think it was next Sunday’s Ladies Final you were doing, or what?

Brian Central Council had told me to stamp out the dirt early. I was under instructions from GAA HQ.

Reporter So why wasn’t Mulligan sent off in the first minute? Didn’t your umpires see the incident?

Brian They did, but Central Council never said anything about Tyrone dirt, just Armagh.

Reporter I see. So why didn’t you send Ryan McMenamin off?

Brian What for?

Reporter For being the most hateful person ever to pull on a jersey.

Brian What about Graham Geraghty?

Reporter Okay, so it’s a jointly held title. Well that’s all from me here in Omagh at the heart of Tyrone’s first and last ever celebration of All Ireland victory. I’ll speak to you all again next year from College Green in Dublin.

IgnatiusJRiley

Obviously written by a dub/skanger. Love the jealousy

Yavvy

actually it was made by an armagh supporter.
what possible reason have you got to accuse the author of being a skanger ?...

kaimera

hehehe...quite funni