Your Momma's so fat...

TinCool

Your momma's so fat,
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Your momma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Your momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Your momma's so fat,
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Your momma's so fat,
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Your momma's so fat,
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Your momma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Your momma's so fat,
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Your momma's so fat,
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Your momma's so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Your momma's so fat,
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Your momma's so fat,
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Your momma's so fat,
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Your momma's so fat,
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Your momma's so fat,
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Your momma's so fat,
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Your momma's so fat,
when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Your momma's so fat,
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Your momma's so fat,
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Your momma's so fat,
a picture of her fell off the wall!

Your momma's so fat,
her picture takes two frames.

Your momma's so fat,
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Okie

Your momma's so fat,
she stepped on a weighing scales and it said "To Be Continued"

Your momma's so fat,
she jumped up...and got stuck!

Your momma's so fat,
she gotta put on her belt with a boomerang

Your momma's so fat,
her blood type id Dol-Mi-O

TinCool

Your momma’s so fat,
Her nickname’s “DAMN”

Capt'n Midnight

Your momma's so fat,
she gotta put on her belt with a boomerang

bmcg

your mommas so fat...
when her beeper goes off people think shes reversing.

your mommas so fat...
when she wears a malcom X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her.

your mommas so fat...
when she wears her yellow raincoat, people shout 'TAXI' at her.

Okie

Your momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion

Your momma's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind

Your momma's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream van

Your momma's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big

Your momma's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d

bmcg

Your mommas so fat, she couldn't leave the house and died of a massive heart attack due to fatally high levels of cholestorol in her arteries.

Evil Phil

Yo mommas so fat...
When she turns around they throw a welcome back party

You mommas so fat...
When she sits around the house, she sits around the house

McGintyMcGoo

Your momma's so fat, that when I swerved to avoid her, I ran out of petrol

LoneGunM@n

Your Momma's so fat, she cut herself & gravy poured out!

Your Momma's so fat, I rolled over twice & I was still on the beatch!!

Your Momma's so fat, her high school photo was an aerial shot!

Runfree

ok

Yo Momma is so fat, NASA orbit satelites around her just to keep track of her.

Now stop the Yo Momma jokes.

irishman_abroad

NO!!

Yo mamas so fat when I tried to have sex with her I had to throw a packet of flour on her just to find the wet patch.

Dempsey

Yo mamas so fat.....
She wore high heels and struck oil

Vader

duuuh your momma so fat shes overweight

D-Generate

Your Momma's so fat...
When she went swimming Spain claimed her as new land.

Capt'n Midnight

Yo momma's so fat,
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat,
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Yo momma's so fat,
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Yo momma's so fat,
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat,
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat,
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat,
I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma's so fat,
she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat,
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine

Yo momma's so fat,
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo momma's so fat,
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat,
yo daddy got lost in her folds.

yo momma's so fat
she's a size 18- on the richter scale.

yo momma's so fat
her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

yo momma's so fat
that when yo daddy pushed her down the Grand Canyon, she got caught.

yo momma's so fat
she has her own post code

yo momma's so fat
she can call herself out of state

yo momma's so fat
Julie Andrews keeps spinning around on her ass and singing...

Yo momma's so fat,
McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats.

Yo momma's so fat,
at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts!

Yo momma's so fat,
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma's so fat,
even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma's so fat,
her big toe got stuck in the catflap.

Yo momma's so fat,
her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yo momma's so fat,
her doctor's a grounds keeper.

Yo momma's so fat,
her tits are in two different time zones.

Yo momma's so fat,
her toes bleed when she walks!

Yo momma's so fat,
if she weighed 5 more pounds she'd get group insurance.

Yo momma's so fat,
it say on her driver's license Picture continued on back.

Yo momma's so fat,
it takes a forklift to help her stand up.

Yo momma's so fat,
light gets stuck near her.

Yo momma's so fat,
people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma's so fat,
people use her dandruff as quilts.

Yo momma's so fat,
sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma's so fat,
she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.

Yo momma's so fat,
she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo momma's so fat,
she don't have cellulite she's got cellu-heavy!

Yo momma's so fat,
she fell in love and broke it!

Yo momma's so fat,
she gets stuck in her dreams!

Yo momma's so fat,
she got her baby pictures taken by satellite.

Yo momma's so fat,
she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma's so fat,
she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

Yo momma's so fat,
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has a part-time job as a trampoline!

Yo momma's so fat,
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has her own gravity.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has shocks on her toilet seat.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has to buy two airline tickets!

Yo momma's so fat,
she has to go outside to put on deodorant.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has to lay down to tie her shoe.

Yo momma's so fat,
she has to use hoola-hoops to hold her socks up.

Yo momma's so fat,
she hides her goiter with her chin.

Yo momma's so fat,
she influences the tides.

Yo momma's so fat,
she irons her clothes in the driveway!

Yo momma's so fat,
she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo momma's so fat,
she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.

Yo momma's so fat,
she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo momma's so fat,
she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.

Yo momma's so fat,
she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo momma's so fat,
she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Yo momma's so fat,
she shows up on radar.

Yo momma's so fat,
she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma's so fat,
she takes baths in swimming pools.

Yo momma's so fat,
she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand.

Yo momma's so fat,
she uses a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat,
she uses a mattress as a tampon.

Yo momma's so fat,
she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma's so fat,
she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.

Yo momma's so fat,
she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma's so fat,
she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma's so fat,
she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma's so fat,
she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma's so fat,
she wears a microwave for a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat,
she wears two watches because she's in two time zones!

Yo momma's so fat,
she went to the beach and sold shade!

Yo momma's so fat,
she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

Yo momma's so fat,
she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.

Yo momma's so fat,
she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma's so fat,
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma's so fat,
she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma's so fat,
she's sits on coal and farts out a diamond.

Yo momma's so fat,
she's works in the movies -- as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat,
the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.

Yo momma's so fat,
the airline charges her round trip for each flight.

Yo momma's so fat,
the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma's so fat,
the highway patrol made her wear Caution! Wide Turn.

Yo momma's so fat,
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma's so fat,
they invented super extra strength ultra SlimFast.

Yo momma's so fat,
they mistake her for a country.

Yo momma's so fat,
to her light food means under 4 Tons.

Yo momma's so fat,
to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.

Yo momma's so fat,
when I got on top of her my ears popped.

Yo momma's so fat,
when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up!


Yo momma's so fat,
when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she bungee jumps she goes straight down to hell.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she falls it measures on the Richter scale!

Yo momma's so fat,
when she has sex she has to give directions!

Yo momma's so fat,
when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she sings, it's over!

Yo momma's so fat,
when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats!

Yo momma's so fat,
when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she turns around its her birthday.

Yo momma's so fat,
when she turns around they throw her a welcome-back party.

Yo momma's so fat,
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma's so fat,
you can slap her thighs and ride the waves in!

Yo momma's so fat,
you can't tell if she is coming or going...

Yo momma's so fat,
you couldn't tell where her boobs end and her arms begin.

Oswald Osbourne

Yo momma's so fat,
you should really get her to go see a doctor about it.