Uncontrollable erection

LegacyUser · 03-10-2003 10:47pm #1

Ill be walking around town sometimes and i get a huge hard-on
I have a tendency to wear loose clothes so its visible alright
It becomes a problem in queues when it hits the person in front or behind me

Swimming is another separate problem altogether
~Also I have real trouble getting into nightclubs especially shooters and spirit because the bouncer sees my hard-on and refuses me~
One time I was at an airport and they were frisking me it was very embarassing

Sarky · 03-10-2003 10:49pm

How old are you?

azezil · 03-10-2003 10:54pm

Ah i remember my teen years when if the wind blew on my pants the right way i'd get a hard on *sniffle* the good aul days :')

MojoMaker · 03-10-2003 10:58pm

What is it about Friday night that brings the pricks out? Trolling because you're too young to head out for a pint or too sad to have any mates? Honest to goodness...

Paddy20 · 03-10-2003 11:01pm

He is boasting. Read his comments again. A fantasist, "Large" "Loose clothes" "Still shows" "It hits the person in front of me or behind me" Raymondo, Go get yourself laid.

P.:ninja:

LegacyUser · 03-10-2003 11:08pm

Originally posted by Paddy20
He is boasting. Read his comments again. A fantasist, "Large" "Loose clothes" "Still shows"

Cheers for the reply Paddy20 but did I mention the word "'Large'"
once?

ST · 03-10-2003 11:30pm

You did use the word Huge

How about wearing Tight Trousers with a loose fitting top?

Sarky · 03-10-2003 11:32pm

You could always castrate yourself if it really is that much of a problem.

Crash · 03-10-2003 11:40pm

Originally posted by azezil
Ah i remember my teen years when if the wind blew on my pants the right way i'd get a hard on *sniffle* the good aul days :')

Az, isnt that you on a friday night?

oh no wait, forgot you hit the big two three and cant get it up anymore :horned:

Winters · 03-10-2003 11:46pm

Originally posted by azezil
Ah i remember my teen years when if the wind blew on my pants the right way i'd get a hard on *sniffle* the good aul days :')

It wasent cos the wind blew Az but because some guy infront of you took off his shirt.

Raymondo, I think you should just not go out. You are the like 14 year old in the que for the night club who always gets refused soz your under age and talk like a girl [no offence].

Now, listen good, or read good, whatever. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts

Dont be at yourself · 03-10-2003 11:53pm

Margaret Tatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Tatcher naked on a cold day!

red_ice · 03-10-2003 11:54pm

ohhhh maggie!

Sarky · 03-10-2003 11:54pm

She's dead, isn't she?

Oh dear...

Winters · 04-10-2003 12:05am

Originally posted by Sarky
She's dead, isn't she?

No, but thinking of her dead and sexy really would knock that statue out of your pants.

Creature · 04-10-2003 12:28am

You could always try sello-taping your knob to your leg or something, or even better wear a codpiece.

Winters · 04-10-2003 12:54am

Originally posted by Creature
You could always try sello-taping your knob to your leg or something, or even better wear a codpiece.

If you were to sello-tape your knob to your leg id say that could be quite uncomfortable, and to some arousing. It may also to a lesser extent hurt [and also arouse] the person/leg. Your only answer may be:

tight pants.

Tight pants would keep it tucked away, possibly. Depending on your knobs power you could break the sello-tape then it whould really shoot-up but in an outward motion making it very obvious to anyone that you have the statue of liberty down your pants. If anything you would need to tie it up so that if it gets up nobody is gonna notice.

Sarky · 04-10-2003 12:56am

Google a few christian websites. They have the most ingenius anti-erection devices ever concieved (if that's a pun, then I'm sorry...).

tman · 04-10-2003 1:05am

masturbation, and lots of it!

make sure you knock off at least 3 rounds before you leave the house & you should be sorted

Winters · 04-10-2003 1:10am

Originally posted by tman
make sure you knock off at least 3 rounds before you leave the house & you should be sorted

3 times before going out can be painful if done in quick succession. Also, its a waste of energy if our rogue poster is only like 14 and being constantly refused into our prechious 'adult only' clubs and pubs.

If your going out do one before you go out, of course. As it was done in Theres Somethign About Mary, dont go out with a full load. Always have some porn closeby and handy [no pun intended].

3 times in random succession can be painfil and very energy comsuming. Though will make you keep up with the woman later in the night

Gordon · 04-10-2003 9:39am

Surely there must be a woman out there that would benefit from a perpetual motion machine.

If you are serious about this then I seriously suggest that you cut a hole in your pocket and hold your penis while you walk. That way it looks like you just have your hands in your pocket. Although you may get your jollies from it...

Try that, get a girlfriend and bobs your uncle, fannies your aunt.

ferdi · 04-10-2003 12:26pm

Originally posted by Raymondo
Ill be walking around town sometimes and i get a huge hard-on

stop bitching you lucky fook, it takes my 45minutes with a foot pump, a warm bath,lotion and barry whites greatest hits (god rest his soul) to get any kind of erection.

spooiirt!! · 04-10-2003 1:29pm

why did you post this? do you want advice on how to hide your "huge" erection?

Victor · 04-10-2003 6:14pm

Tight jeans, long jacket. Sorted. And Maggie Thatcher is single again ...

Capt'n Midnight · 04-10-2003 6:58pm

Visit Pelican House.

Sangre · 04-10-2003 7:01pm

You think you've got problems? Mine goes inside me when I stand up.

Anyway, have a glance through 'know your nerds', it'll terrify you, and remove any libido you have.

*shudder*

Pay particular attention to the one they call Gordon.

Shad0r · 04-10-2003 7:33pm

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Visit Pelican House.

Isnt Pelican House the place with the heroin addicts?

Victor · 04-10-2003 8:18pm

Originally posted by Shad0r
Isnt Pelican House the place with the heroin addicts?

No Pelican House is / was the Irish Blood Transfusion Board.

Billy Turdhed · 05-10-2003 2:22pm

Raymondo...you lucky beast... Bill Turdhed has the answer to your prob. old son as he usually does..

Get a good strong rubber band... run up the flag ..then wind the rubber band tightly around the root of the flagpole...she'll sag like a brassers arse...

Warning she cud drop off due lack of circo... But shure then your problems solved! Y'all come back now1

WOT

Typedef · 05-10-2003 2:28pm

Speaking of which.

I had a gym teacher.. who I'd delibrately think about, when I was with a girl... and was trying not to come.

Highly effective... and much better then thinking of baseball or Star Trek.

Sometimes... Star Trek is the worst thing a fella could think of.

Warp Speed... Plasma relays.....

oh dear.........

LegacyUser · 05-10-2003 2:52pm

Originally posted by Raymondo
Ill be walking around town sometimes and i get a huge hard-on
I have a tendency to wear loose clothes so its visible alright
It becomes a problem in queues when it hits the person in front or behind me
Swimming is another separate problem altogether
~Also I have real trouble getting into nightclubs especially shooters and spirit because the bouncer sees my hard-on and refuses me~
One time I was at an airport and they were frisking me it was very embarassing

Worry not Raymondo. Michael McDowell has issued no press releases about monitoring and restricting the activities of horny males so far. It's only a matter of time. In the meantime enjoy and avoid the queer airports on the neighbouring island where the fairies don't have wands.

Jake

Creature · 05-10-2003 7:45pm

Originally posted by Typedef
Speaking of which.

I had a gym teacher.. who I'd delibrately think about, when I was with a girl... and was trying not to come.

Highly effective... and much better then thinking of baseball or Star Trek.

Sometimes... Star Trek is the worst thing a fella could think of.

Warp Speed... Plasma relays.....

oh dear.........

Lol, thats classic. That PE teacher must've been a right gargoyle.

Catsmokinpot · 06-10-2003 10:09am

Maybe you should give billy the badguy some advice:horned:

whosurpaddy · 06-10-2003 12:25pm

Originally posted by Raymondo
It becomes a problem in queues when it hits the person in front or behind me

how in the hell does it hit the person behind you? maybe you just queue backwards??????

its kinda approproate that there's now a smiley called "horned" :horned:

Paddy20 · 06-10-2003 4:30pm

Raymondo,

I hope you carry a Donor Card. As, should anything untoward happen. I am sure "medical science" would love to study your problem.

P.:ninja:

Walls · 06-10-2003 4:41pm

Originally posted by Typedef
Sometimes... Star Trek is the worst thing a fella could think of.

Warp Speed... Plasma relays.....

oh dear.........

Lol! Don't you go waving that phaser in my direction!

Sarky · 06-10-2003 4:42pm

And not one "seven of nine" counter arguement.

Wow.

po0k · 06-10-2003 6:12pm

Was just about to mention Ms. Jeri Ryan.
But you did instead.

Bastard

/me feels a stiffy coming on

Shad0r · 06-10-2003 7:39pm

Originally posted by Victor
No Pelican House is / was the Irish Blood Transfusion Board.

Ah yeah knew it had something to do with needles....

Deadwing · 07-10-2003 12:51am

Put a book over it.

Havelock · 07-10-2003 2:12pm

Hit it with a book, or hammer.
*winch*
The only answer (even when one has a g/f) is frequent mastubation. Aim for 4-5 times a day. Its also great exercise. Failing that...um...do what I did, really tight trousers and loose tops or suits (jackets are really handy), always carry a bag.

Help stamp our virility! kick a guy in crotch!

Stark · 07-10-2003 2:17pm

Originally posted by Shad0r
Isnt Pelican House the place with the heroin addicts?

No Pelican House is / was the Irish Blood Transfusion Board.

Jasus I hope it's not the place with the heroin addicts, otherwise I'm rejecting all transfusions

smiles · 08-10-2003 12:36pm

2nd set of "anon" threads started by the same person.

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Uncontrollable erection

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