Id like to improve my erection! Need advice

LegacyUser · 06-10-2003 12:00am #1

Hi,
Lately i dont feel im performing well enough,id like to improve my erection,but without haing to get viagra, anyone have an suggestions or advice thanks!!

GuanYin · 06-10-2003 12:22am

Next time you have an errection, get an elastic band and wrap it really really tightly around the base.

The get deap heat and rub it all over and allow to absorb for 2 minutes.

Then get some liquid Nitrogen and allow stick your still erect penis into the vapour for 30 seconds. [Important: make sure your erection does not come into contact with the actual liquid nitrogen]

You will now have a permanent erection.

LegacyUser · 06-10-2003 9:12am

Originally posted by BillyTheBadGuy
Hi,
Lately i dont feel im performing well enough,id like to improve my erection,but without haing to get viagra, anyone have an suggestions or advice thanks!!

Get some zinc and take it for a few weeks to increase the zinc levels in your body. Don't take it for more than a month or so, or your copper levels might become depleted. Zinc and copper are always fighting each other.

Zinc tablets are generally a poor source because by the time you get to consume them the zinc has become depleted. The best way to consume zinc (and copper) is when it is packaged in a vial of distilled water. You can also increase your Zn levels by eating oysters!

ZnCu

smiaras · 06-10-2003 9:13am

This post has been deleted.

Robbo · 06-10-2003 9:59am

Sign up for a Hotmail account. Within weeks you should have an inbox full of handy suggestions for Viagra alternatives, all at low low prices. You may even have won a prize in a draw you don't remember entering...

Kali · 06-10-2003 11:11am

Improve it eh? perhaps draw a little smiley face on it... or buy it a new hat or sunglasses.

Walls · 06-10-2003 1:48pm

Get a bigger strap on. :rolleyes:

Yavvy · 06-10-2003 1:53pm

tape some ice pop sticks onto the side of it (use masking tape and not gery duct tape)

does that zinc thing really work...hrmmm

Crash · 06-10-2003 3:27pm

I heard fire helps. try some fire.

Runfree · 06-10-2003 3:28pm

Originally posted by sykeirl
Next time you have an errection, get an elastic band and wrap it really really tightly around the base.

The get deap heat and rub it all over and allow to absorb for 2 minutes.

Then get some liquid Nitrogen and allow stick your still erect penis into the vapour for 30 seconds. [Important: make sure your erection does not come into contact with the actual liquid nitrogen]

You will now have a permanent erection.

Ok it is permanent. I followed your suggestion. had an operation yesterday to get it removed.

KoNiT · 06-10-2003 3:29pm

Sign up for a Hotmail account. Within weeks you should have an inbox full of handy suggestions for Viagra alternatives, all at low low prices. You may even have won a prize in a draw you don't remember entering...

funny!!

This is the humour board right?!!

Beruthiel · 06-10-2003 4:00pm

Originally posted by KoNiT
This is the humour board right?!!

not that I'm aware of....

Runfree · 06-10-2003 4:08pm

Nope.

But ok for a more serious answer you could try some more foreplay. this might work but then again it might not. see how it goes anyway.

Paddy20 · 06-10-2003 4:23pm

More nooky, more nooky.

The more nooky your willy gets!, the more nooky it wants, its like a drug. So, give it more, as the more it gets the more it wants, and the "harder" it becomes!, and the longer it lasts as well.

Sounds to me as if you have been starving the poor thing, as a result, it has become weak and lost its appetite.

You know what they say:- " Use it or Lose it".

P.:ninja:

Sarky · 06-10-2003 4:32pm

Tie a brick to it.

Pepe LeFrits · 06-10-2003 5:58pm

Been watching Old School recently eh?

po0k · 06-10-2003 6:01pm

Foreplay. Gentle Carressing of the neck and other body parts that don't usually get much contact from people. Go downtown.

AngelofFire · 06-10-2003 9:23pm

If you`re still only young you will find that your tommy ticker goes through phases where it doesnt like to stay hard for a very long time. Dont worry about it. In a few weeks time you`ll be posting stuff about how to deflate your winky. let it enjoy its break while it still has one.

Billy Turdhed · 06-10-2003 11:33pm

Heres the plan Captain

The first thing is not to be too anxious.... take things slowly
Secondly ...no guilt...let her go ..feel no restraint.
Thirdly..clear the mind of all pressing probs and concentrate on the job in hand.
She should whack up against yr belly button if you follow my advice and you are under 30!
Dont rush things even then... carress yr mott.. ..they love that.
and promise her undying love.. with the big fella still active.
If that fails ... yr in trouble... shoot yoursell

WOT

Deadwing · 07-10-2003 12:23am

Remember:
Theres no such thing as premature ejaculation. Its always right on time

Maybe not for her tho but hey...thats what dildos were invented for.

passive · 07-10-2003 12:45am

as long as i have my fun thats all that matters...

Caesar_Bojangle · 08-10-2003 8:59pm

Tis gettin qwere cald lately. Anyone else’s equipment notice it?

I'd say viagra is your best bet, unless you want to do the towel squat technique every morning?

LegacyUser · 09-10-2003 12:21am

I was doing the towel lifting exercise in the bathroom one morning when a flatmate walked in (and yes I was sure the effing door was locked!).She looked at the old man, looked at me and said " look to your right and you'll find a much handier towel rail!".

passive · 09-10-2003 12:43am

you then proceeded to ask her if she needed a towel...right?

anyway, to original poster: search for threads on this before, people posted links about pc muscle and the towel exercise that guy mentioned, or buy a good porno mag and look at the ads

eg:massivegrow will give you a guaranteed 16" growth!***

"oh wow! its so big!"

...but i'm sure the exercises are more likely to work than the pills for bigger harder cocks.....i still heartily recommend porn though

***growth may not be on or near penis

Mac daddy · 11-10-2003 4:48pm

Talk to him before you go on the job.

ai ing · 11-10-2003 5:25pm

Talk to him before you go on the job.

Yeah ok , but the problem is that this might put her off. The idea of "doin it" with some nutter who talks to himself might not be the most attractive thing inthe world

Paddy20 · 12-10-2003 12:07am

I think Mac daddy, Is correct, you might be surprised what women will listen to, and utter themselves, before, during, and after, especially if the experience, has been truly satisfying.

Yeah, Oh, the memories, the memories. Quite shocking really. Must stop thinking about those things at my age.

Now, listen here Willy. This is your last warning. Stand up for your Country or I will blow your damned head off. That should do the trick.

P.:ninja:

Mac daddy · 12-10-2003 1:12am

Originally posted by Paddy20
I think Mac daddy, Is correct, you might be surprised what women will listen to, and utter themselves, before, during, and after, especially if the experience, has been truly satisfying.

Yeah, Oh, the memories, the memories. Quite shocking really. Must stop thinking about those things at my age.

Now, listen here Willy. This is your last warning. Stand up for your Country or I will blow your damned head off. That should do the trick.

P.:ninja:

LOL

And ai ing it don't mean do it in front of her can if you want :eek:

Id like to improve my erection! Need advice

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