Nice guys & how the saying goes

eirebhoy

Before I start I have to tell you that I am a very shy bloke and would find it hard to go up to a girl without a loa of pints on me.

Anyway, I was out with a few mates on Saturday and my mates girlfriends brought one of her mates who I never met. To cut a long story short, My mate came over to me and told me that the girl who was there was really into me and I he asked me did I like her. I told him I thought she was good looking and that was that for a while.

Then about an hour later he said that she is going home and told me to go over to her and he made it out like she was expecting me over. I went over when she stood up and I asked her will I walk her home (which wasn't far) and she just said "what". She then looked at my mates and asked me did they tell me to come over and I turned around to see them all breaking out in laughter. I thought she was afraid to ask me out and she asked my mate to ask me but boy I was wrong.

I have mates that would keep talking to the girl after that but I just walked over to my mates like a tomato. It will be a long time before I ask someone out again after that.

Originally posted by eireboy
Before I start I have to tell you that I am a very shy bloke and would find it hard to go up to a girl without a loa of pints on me.

Anyway, I was out with a few mates on Saturday and my mates girlfriends brought one of her mates who I never met. To cut a long story short, My mate came over to me and told me that the girl who was there was really into me and I he asked me did I like her. I told him I thought she was good looking and that was that for a while.

Then about an hour later he said that she is going home and told me to go over to her and he made it out like she was expecting me over. I went over when she stood up and I asked her will I walk her home (which wasn't far) and she just said "what". She then looked at my mates and asked me did they tell me to come over and I turned around to see them all breaking out in laughter. I thought she was afraid to ask me out and she asked my mate to ask me but boy I was wrong.

I have mates that would keep talking to the girl after that but I just walked over to my mates like a tomato. It will be a long time before I ask someone out again after that.

HAHA that actually sounds like such a laugh! Ofc the whole "walk you home" bit was so very gay (unless you're 12), however you seem to be forgetting the most important bit and thats that you actually had the balls to approach a girl you didn't know. So what if you got rejected(quite embarrassingly i might add)...no use in saying "It will be a long time before I ask someone out again after that" - just use it as experience for the next time

eirebhoy

Originally posted by utility_
HAHA that actually sounds like such a laugh! Ofc the whole "walk you home" bit was so very gay (unless you're 12)

I didn't know what else to say as she was stood up and ready to go and I also thought she was expecting me over. Although, when I think of it now she might have thought I was a bloody pervert. If I didn't think she was expecting me over there was know way I would have said what I did.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by utility_
HAHA that actually sounds like such a laugh! Ofc the whole "walk you home" bit was so very gay (unless you're 12)

Seems like a perfectly valid way of inviting yourself back to a woman’s place in a non-threatening fashion, so that you can pop in for a nightcap/coffee, and subsequently bury the baldy lad...

however you seem to be forgetting the most important bit and thats that you actually had the balls to approach a girl you didn't know. So what if you got rejected(quite embarrassingly i might add)...no use in saying "It will be a long time before I ask someone out again after that" - just use it as experience for the next time

That’s good advice. Of course, how someone can begin a post talking horseshit and then manage to impart good advice is beyond me. Must be a Jekyll & Hyde thing.

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Seems like a perfectly valid way of inviting yourself back to a woman’s place in a non-threatening fashion, so that you can pop in for a nightcap/coffee, and subsequently bury the baldy lad...

That’s good advice. Of course, how someone can begin a post talking horseshit and then manage to impart good advice is beyond me. Must be a Jekyll & Hyde thing.

WTF how was "the first part" of what I said "horseshít"?

If I was a girl and some guy who i hadn't even talked to all night came up to me and said "Will I walk you home" I'd think he was a fricken rapist! It's a different story if you've been getting stuck in all night or whatever...but otherwise only the ugliest and least respectable women would take you up on that offer(and the stupidest too...with the whole rape thing).

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by utility_
HAHA that actually sounds like such a laugh!

Obviously it sounds like a laugh to an idiot like you.

:rolleyes:

eireboy... your mates are cúnts. I would've been beating the shít out of them after that. If you're a very shy bloke and your mates know that, then they are supreme arséholes.

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
Obviously it sounds like a laugh to an idiot like you.

:rolleyes:

eireboy... your mates are cúnts. I would've been beating the shít out of them after that. If you're a very shy bloke and your mates know that, then they are supreme arséholes.

haha lighten up man...

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
Obviously it sounds like a laugh to an idiot like you.

:rolleyes:

eireboy... your mates are cúnts. I would've been beating the shít out of them after that. If you're a very shy bloke and your mates know that, then they are supreme arséholes.

I think you are overreacting a lot. The girl wasn't a stanger she was a friend of one of my mates and he was just having a laugh. I'd love to get him back but unfortunately he's spoken for.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by utility_
If I was a girl and some guy who i hadn't even talked to all night came up to me and said "Will I walk you home" I'd think he was a fricken rapist!

Oh, now he's a rapist rather than gay?

I would agree that procrastinating the entire night then asking a girl if you can walk her home is fairly cretinous. However you didn’t chastise him for making his move too late, only because he had asked to walk her home. And he was gay (or is the ghey?) for doing so.

Now you’ve either qualified what you said, or effectively backtracked and changed it. I’d go for the latter.

In fairness, the latter half of your post was good, so take the compliment with the criticism, go forth and sin no more.

BrianD3

he was just having a laugh.

Doesn't sound so funny to me. I'd get some new mates if I were you. These people are not your mates if they'd do something like that to you. What they did to you was a form of bullying. They picked on your weakness i.e. your shyness when it comes to girls. You may say it's no big deal but you also said that this incident will stop you from asking a girl out for a long time - so it obviously HAS had an effect on you. As Dr. Loon said your mates are just cúnts who deserve to get the sh1t kicked out of them. Get rid of them asap.

BrianD3

eirebhoy

Originally posted by BrianD3
Doesn't sound so funny to me. I'd get some new mates if I were you. These people are not your mates if they'd do something like that to you. What they did to you was a form of bullying. They picked on your weakness i.e. your shyness when it comes to girls. You may say it's no big deal but you also said that this incident will stop you from asking a girl out for a long time - so it obviously HAS had an effect on you. As Dr. Loon said your mates are just cúnts who deserve to get the sh1t kicked out of them. Get rid of them asap.

BrianD3

I am obviously not going to get rid of the mates I know half of my life but I was just wondering am I the only one who thinks BrianD3 and Dr.Loon are overreacting?

Caesar_Bojangle

Yeah, overreacting just a tad. My friends have done a lot worse to me, and vice versa.

If I was a girl and some guy who i hadn't even talked to all night came up to me and said "Will I walk you home" I'd think he was a fricken rapist!

That is a rather valid point, from a girls perspective not a horny gents.

Sangre

They are completly over reacting like most people do on this forum.

To the casual readers, they seem like ****s, but we have no idea what eireboy is like, or if he does similar. I myself know I have done much worse cráp to mates, and again like Caesar, vice versa.
This might sound odd, but my friends are the people I can take the piss out of when they do something stupid etc..

jeez on this forums its always fecking
'Get new friends!'
'Dump the bastard/bitch'
'Kill the slob'

Relax you freaks...

Dr. Loon

Alright lads, maybe a slight over reaction. However, I'd consider myself quite shy. My friends wouldn't do that to me. My friends I've known since I was four years of age... that's 21 years. So I stand by my point in saying that your friends are cúnts.

I'm not overreacting. I take the píss out of my friends and vice versa, but not on someones weakest point. That's just mean.

Anyway each to their own, obviously I wouldn't like your friends eireboy, nor yours sangre... and if you two find hurting people to be funny I'd consider you cúnts as well. Sorry!

Eireboy, are you too macho to admit what your mates did was extremely embarrassing and also hurt deeply, and damaged your confidence!?

eirebhoy

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
Alright lads, maybe a slight over reaction. However, I'd consider myself quite shy. My friends wouldn't do that to me. My friends I've known since I was four years of age... that's 21 years. So I stand by my point in saying that your friends are cúnts.

I'm not overreacting. I take the píss out of my friends and vice versa, but not on someones weakest point. That's just mean.

Anyway each to their own, obviously I wouldn't like your friends eireboy, nor yours sangre... and if you two find hurting people to be funny I'd consider you cúnts as well. Sorry!

Eireboy, are you too macho to admit what your mates did was extremely embarrassing and also hurt deeply, and damaged your confidence!?

Maybe I was overreacting myself when I said that I won't go up to a girl for a long time. If I have a few drinks on me I'm sure I will but thats the way I always was.

Of course it was embarrassing and I admitted that but my friends never done it because it was one of my "weakest points", they are not bloody bullies. I'd say only one or two of my friends wouldn't find it embarrassing but the rest of them would and I'm sure 90% of people would aswell. I am not known to be afraid to go up to girls it just happened to be me that got the the piss taken out of. I don't hold a grudge over it and I'm sure I'll be seeing the girl again sometime and we'll all have a laugh talking about it.

I can obviously see the funny side and anyone who would want to lose their friends over having a laugh is a bit mad. There are programs like the Jamie Kennedy experiment or Scare tactics that people get the piss taken out of their friends and it is fun to watch. Scare Tactics is a hidden camera series in which unsuspecting people, set up by their friends, are subjected to frightening situations that are usually phobia's or their weakest points. Its the same thing that happened to me except it wasn't exaclty my weakest points. Its all just a laugh.

Kell

Nice guys (the genuine ones) don't finish last. Nice guys who complain about lack of attention from females or not getting anywhere to begin with, simply lack confidence and its written right across their forehead like a beacon. Anyone with a lack of confidence in themselves is a turn off whether you're male or female.

Ref the thread ages and ages ago about things we find attractive in men/women. Number 1 about men was:

drum roll here

CONFIDENCE.

So, thats it. All you "I am so nice but get nowhere moaners, have a think about why and ask yourself if you have entirely different issues altogether.

K-

AL][EN

Originally posted by Kell
Nice guys (the genuine ones) don't finish last. Nice guys who complain about lack of attention from females or not getting anywhere to begin with, simply lack confidence and its written right across their forehead like a beacon. Anyone with a lack of confidence in themselves is a turn off whether you're male or female.

Ref the thread ages and ages ago about things we find attractive in men/women. Number 1 about men was:

drum roll here

CONFIDENCE.

So, thats it. All you "I am so nice but get nowhere moaners, have a think about why and ask yourself if you have entirely different issues altogether.

K-

Kell pretty much has it nailed on the head.

i "used" to be one of those nice guys finish last moaners, However i met a woman recently that im very much attracted to were are head over heels about each other and she has taugh me that....as Kell has said what it really boils down to is CONFIDENCE. Nice guys DONT finish last they can get the girl you just have to have beileve it deep down show a bit of self confidence and good things will happen

well thats my 2 cents anyway

Gummy Panda

I use to be a 'nice guy' fool. Was with a girl for nearly 4 years until recently.

Now i have changed myself from being afraid and weak, to just confident.

Sure, i know i get the push off from a few but does it matter if that happens. Just laugh and take it in ya stride.

Last night i was out and just made a confident move outta the blue and i was surprised with my success.

The best motto for 'nice guys' is "He who dares wins"!!

Kai

Just read "How to be a bastrd" by typedef. That'll sort ya out.

ColinM

Corinthian, I'm going to quit my habit of agreeing with you (temporarily at least) and go with Utility on this. I'm too lazy to pick apart where you were right and where he was, but for the most part he's more right than you are!

Utility, I'm really impressed with you. For a young lad, you've obviously picked up alot from your observations through life so far.

eireboy, you need to quit being such a fricking doormat, but of course that's easier said than done. Whatever chance you have of achieving this is minimised by continuing to accept the derision of your great mates. They are dicks because they use you to make themselves look better and also because you are an easy target and they know it. What you said must have sounded pretty lame, but please don't mull over this. We all make eejits of ourselves all the time, and no one ever cares about it as much as we do. So try to forget about it. If you do, everyone else will.

Here are a few universal truths that you may have heard in one form or another before, but once you realise these things for yourself, you cannot fail but be at least a little more confident:

1. Girls and Boys don't think differently. We all have much more in common by simply being human than we do along the lines of being the same gender. We all share the same basic thought processes. We are all driven by the same basic desires and fears.

2. No matter how good looking someone is, there will always be at least one thing that they think is ugly about themselves. What this is may not be apparent at all to you, but will seem very apparent to them.

3. Everybody, no matter how confident they appear, will always have moments of insecurity. Even while they appear to be at their most confident they may actually be a trembling bag of nerves inside. Usually, it is surprisingly easy to figure out what it is that scares them most.

When you know these things for yourself, you'll know that there's no point in being scared of anybody else, because they're all too busy being scared about how they appear to you and others.

Sarky

Is this still going?

Go enjoy life.

Relationships are NOT the be-all and end-all of everything. Neither is sex.

There are plenty more things to distract you.

Things eventually work out.

Pink Bunny

Maybe it has to do with the type of girl you are going for. There are plenty of nice girls out there that would love to meet a nice guy as well, however get overlooked because they are a bit plain or shy themselves.
Confident men are more attractive, but overly arrogant men are a turn off.

LegacyUser

Originally posted by utility_

I also hate the term "nice guys finish last", because its a loser term. "I'm so nice why can't i get any women" waaah...keep on crying - your sure to get a woman that way! I'm a nice enough guy and I have my fair share of women. I know a lot of "nice guys" who also have a good level of success with women.
The term you're looking for is "whiny ásshole". "I can't get any women cause I'm a whiny asshole" is more like it.

That's interesting. I'm a woman who fell head over heels for a gut who was constantly giving that spiel about women falling for a**holes and "gorillas" and confiding in him, the "nice guy", about their troubles...

...he turned out to be the biggest bastard. most arrogant jerk, of them all and wrecked my head and my life for two years...

so I'm very suspicious when men go on "women like bastards and not nice guys" too much because they fool you into thinking you're the exception to these awful women, then treat you like sh** and hanker after the very b****es they were complaining about in the first place.

LegacyUser

I meant "guy", not "gut"

LegacyUser

and thankfully, I hasten to add, I believe he is in the minority. Most men are not so messed up, but I did get burned!!

LegacyUser

but I also should say in interests of fairness I was no angel either and perhaps it's not beyond possibility that people can change... I don't wish him any ill.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by justbrowsing
sorry for quadruple posting

justbrowsing
it is possible to edit your message by clicking on the 'edit' icon at the bottom right of your post
perhaps a visit to the newbie f.a.q forum would be useful
B

IgnatiusJRiley

Nice guys only THINK they are nice guys because they've never really had a gf. So when they see some bloke treating a woman like crap, they think to themselves "If I was lucky enough to be with her, I'd never do that". But then when they actually get into a relationship, they realise how hard it is and they end up being the same as all the male ba$t@rd$ before them.

Red Alert

i stumbled upon this thread a few days ago but haven't posted my tuppenceworth so here goes...

In school my Irish teacher would often say 'Lads, It's all about caint, nothing else, caint. You steer the caint the way you want to go.' when referring to the oral. This also holds true for meeting women. Many nice guys seem to talk to women but don't initiate the conversation and act as an 'interviewee' of the girl in question. So what all the nice guys here, especially shy ones should do is talk normally to girls wherever you are - even if you're just doing your grocery shopping make a funny comment to the girl at the checkout.

Secondly, beware of what I call the "Friend Zone", cos once you enter it, it's a one way trip. When you're tryin to score (or looking for g/f material), move the conversation onto the matter in hand sooner rather than later. Avoiding the friend zone means don't metaphorially 'bare all' when meeting her - hold some things back so she'll want more.

Doctor Spoc

Originally posted by MojoMaker
Psychologically you are all missing the point, kinda explains why none of you would be considered particularly successful...

Women of that age want a sexually aggressive alpha male to mate with. Sounds crude, but that is the genetic driving force behind their selection of a partner. They want a virile, confident partner who will make others envious and be in a position to defend their terrritory when required.

Since in modern society we cannot go around defending our territory with our fists (well not unless you are a knacker) it falls to other signs of dominance and "usefulness" to take it's place - i.e. the supremely confident male.

Women go for the confidence of a bad boy because it is a surrogate for the bare chested alpha male hunter/gatherer that brought home the food to eat round the fire. Genetically this will be written into humans until the end of our race, although the exact manifestations of these traits may change subtely over time as society evolves (or devolves?).

Confident bucks pull chicks.
Good looking and confident bucks pull lots of chicks.
Ugly but confident bucks pull some chicks.
Good looking bucks with no confidence pull less chicks.
Ugly bucks with no confidence never pull any chicks.


It's a natural order.

That is sooo not f***ing true! I'm a gal (in other words girl, for those of you to thick to work that one out...) and i'm completely repelled by confidente, muscle man, "me man, you woman, we screw now!" (said in slow, duhh voice[this was actually said to me!]) guys. My exboyfriend (only guy i've ever gone out with, kissed, loved [and still do love], etc.) i won't say his name, lets just call him Flemel Tinkerworth (his old nickname) was a goth with no confidence, not at all womanizing, in my opinion goodlooking and detested steroid pumping, shrunken tests gits who believe the only reason why "god" created women was so they could screw our "fragile, little" brains out (Puhhlease!!!). Flemel at the beginning of our relationship admitted the only reason why he had actually spoken to me when i sat beside him was because of my hair colour (it was bright red, now it's bright purple) instantly we connected. Just to tell you Flemel was skinny, pale, taller than me (i'm 5"4), had dyed his hair black (naturally blonde, oh and if any a**holes are jeering at this, well you can go suck a dead donkey, you deceased degrates!) Like he was completely different than overconfidente, arselicking, chisilled chin, perky pecks guys usually found in this "god"forsaken country (Ireland) we people "adore". So just shut up!!!

Sangre

And was there a point in all that?

PHB

So what you're saying was he was good looking with no confidence.

Good looking bucks with no confidence pull less chicks.

Originally posted by Doctor Spoc
the only reason why "god" created women was so they could screw our "fragile, little" brains out

Don't forget cooking meals

Originally posted by PHB
So what you're saying was he was good looking with no confidence.

Nooo..she THOUGHT he was goodlooking. I.e. he was an ugly goth and so was she...you know the type :rolleyes:

Busy Hands

Originally posted by IgnatiusJRiley
Nice guys only THINK they are nice guys because they've never really had a gf. So when they see some bloke treating a woman like crap, they think to themselves "If I was lucky enough to be with her, I'd never do that". But then when they actually get into a relationship, they realise how hard it is and they end up being the same as all the male ba$t@rd$ before them.

He's spot on here you know. Not only do I know a few of these nice guy bastards, I have been a nice guy bast*rd (unintentionally). The only guys incapable of being a bastard to some degree are (i) the guys who never even get the odd snog in a poorly lit club or (ii) the guys who actually meet someone that they know they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Inevitably you take the piss when you are seeing someone that you know you're not in love with nor will ever be in love with. You only realise it retrospectively though.
Mojomaker's genetic theories (beneath) are also sound I'm afraid, his conclusions are accurate in 99% of cases I'd wager.

MojoMaker

Doctor Spoc, I'll attribute your missing the point to your immaturity. You took it up all wrong baby. You would be what one might call a little lacking in confidence yourself would you not? You are also pretty young, are you not? Your taste in men has not progressed beyond those that find you attractive and pay you some modicum of attention, has it not?

The alpha male theory is not physically based, thankfully for the Irish. The alpha male among other things is a good provider, is emotionally strong, is a carer, is successful, and is well liked, he does not have to be a muscle man, and indeed is rarely one. I'm curious where you draw the parallel between fit able-bodied men and arselickers? All that comment does is project your own insecurities regarding good looking men onto the wider group here.

You do not want an alpha male because you are scared of alpha males. The content and style of your post tells us that you are very much in a minority. Your outlook will almost certainly change over time as you mature.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Doctor Spoc
oh and if any a**holes are jeering at this, well you can go suck a dead donkey, you deceased degrates!) Like he was completely different than overconfidente, arselicking, chisilled chin, perky pecks guys usually found in this "god"forsaken country (Ireland) we people "adore". So just shut up!!!

keep it clean/calm DS
B

LegacyUser

---

Originally posted by Doctor Spoc
Like he was completely different than overconfidente, arselicking, chisilled chin, perky pecks guys usually found in this "god"forsaken country (Ireland) we people "adore". So just shut up!!!

---

I believe the alpha male theory is perfectly valid, I'm a Woman..and I've had one of those..(big burly types...productive bwetween the sheets, and closely related to early homosapien)...but then you realise sex actually gets better.Tadaahhh!!

Btw..
*hums national anthem..
as for Irish men




quote:

---

Originally posted by MojoMaker

The alpha male theory is not physically based, thankfully for the Irish. The alpha male among other things is a good provider, is emotionally strong, is a carer, is successful, and is well liked, he does not have to be a muscle man, and indeed is rarely one. I'm curious where you draw the parallel between fit able-bodied men and arselickers? All that comment does is project your own insecurities regarding good looking men onto the wider group here.

---

...love em,

(and just leave "god"out of this..he didn't start this whole love thing)


now..go have a nice cup of tea

Typedef

I'll rubber stamp the alpha male theory.

Also, the above post shows why mixing magic mushrooms and internet posting can have sometimes quirkey and sometimes highly disjoined results.

*sigh* : Back to the trenches.

LegacyUser

Also, the above post shows why mixing magic mushrooms and internet posting can have sometimes quirkey and sometimes highly disjoined results.

*sigh* : Back to the trenches. [/B]

..isn't it a bit late for the mushrooms?

Beruthiel

Originally posted by diddy doylee
..isn't it a bit late for the mushrooms?

diddy could you please post under your registered nickname
B

LegacyUser

.

j0e9o

I wouldn't say that nice guys finish last but a lot of them are the ones that end up being the friend that she bitches about her boyfriend to

patch

If nice guys finish last, and you're aware of this, it would seem apparent that not being quite so nice to the ladies may well achieve a result.
Ergo (thank you architect!), you're TOO FECKIN' NICE! -cut it out!

Simple maths really.

Doctor Spoc

this is a personal message to mojomaker, although i'd like to make it public. i am not scared of over confident ego maniatic males, i just can't tolarate idiots who think that their "God's" gift.
i'm guessing also that you (mojomaker) are a guy, am i right? (if i'm wrong feel free to say so) and i guess i accidently offended some people (sowy! i don't mean to be a b***h.) sooo i apologize (happy?) also i have to admit that Felmel did that thing of becoming a git who treated me like poop, which is one reason we broke up (i'm guessing i shouldn't discuss that stuff...ahh well...) but we're still friends. also mojomaker; just a word of advice, don't inturpertate things, they may not be always right (although i now realize that i say "i guess you are a guy?" and "i guess i accidently offended some people" so i also should work on that)

ONCE YOU LOOK AWAY, YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT.

NOTICE
IF YOU NOTICE THIS NOTICE
YOU WILL NOTICE
THAT THIS NOTICE IS NOT WORTH NOTICING.

Originally posted by Doctor Spoc
just a word of advice, don't inturpertate things

LMFAO!!!

Beruthiel

Originally posted by utility_
LMFAO!!!

utility, if you could just try and refrain from posting stuff like this

I should have inturpertated that you'd say that!


sorry..

MojoMaker

Take it or leave it spoc, the advice was sound and on the money, your interpretation is of course your own business.

logic1

Originally posted by Doctor Spoc
this is a personal message to mojomaker, although i'd like to make it public. i am not scared of over confident ego maniatic males, i just can't tolarate idiots who think that their "God's" gift.
i'm guessing also that you (mojomaker) are a guy, am i right? (if i'm wrong feel free to say so) and i guess i accidently offended some people (sowy! i don't mean to be a b***h.) sooo i apologize (happy?) also i have to admit that Felmel did that thing of becoming a git who treated me like poop, which is one reason we broke up (i'm guessing i shouldn't discuss that stuff...ahh well...) but we're still friends. also mojomaker; just a word of advice, don't inturpertate things, they may not be always right (although i now realize that i say "i guess you are a guy?" and "i guess i accidently offended some people" so i also should work on that)

ONCE YOU LOOK AWAY, YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT.

NOTICE
IF YOU NOTICE THIS NOTICE
YOU WILL NOTICE
THAT THIS NOTICE IS NOT WORTH NOTICING.

Sooooo... wanna ****?

.logic.