enjoy your lunch....

Monty - the one and only

Things you don't need to know
1. Every year, parks in London alone are doused in one million
gallons of dog
urine.
2. The germs present in human faeces can pass through up to ten
layers of toilet
paper.
3. The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet.
4. Contrary to popular belief, if you swallow chewing gum it does
not stay in
the gut. Usually it will pass-through the system and is excreted
without
incident. However, several cases have been reported where the gum
has stuck in
the rectum, causing the unfortunate sufferer to excrete long sticky
trails of
gum, like a pink spider's web.
5. Several well-documented instances have been reported of extremely
obese
people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The
vacuum action
of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out.
6. It is possible
to cough your guts up.
7. If your body's natural defenses failed, the bacteria in your gut
would
consume you within 48 hours, literally eating you from the inside
out.
8. What is one of the most difficult items for sewage works to
handle, as it is
insoluble, yet fine enough to pass through most filtration systems?
(Every month
Thames Water removes over a ton of this substance from its water >
treatment
plants, whereupon it is taken away to a landfill site and buried)
You guessed it
- pubic hair.
9. Parasites count for 0.01% of your body weight.
10. Henry II was murdered by his homosexual lover, who pushed a
red-hot poker
0.5 metres up his rectum.
11. The longest recorded tapeworm found in the human body was 33
*metres* in
length.
12. A woman who had recently visited South America, where she had
safaried in
local rainforest, began to experience severe pains in her left ear,
accompanied
by headaches, dizziness and constant rustling sounds, at first put
down to
tinnitis. It became so serious that exploratory surgery was
required, which
revealed that a spider which had become trapped in her ear.
Eventually it had
eaten through her eardrum and was living within the aural cavity.
The rustling
sounds were from the spider crawling around inside her skull. An egg
sac was
also removed...
13. Enjoy your lunch!!!



[This message has been edited by Monty - the one and only (edited 02-09-99).]