attracted to a friend

j0e9o

I'm pretty sure this post has prob been done b4 but i need help I have recently become attracted to a friend of mine, Its not like shes one of my best friends but i still talk to her and enjoy her company,she also shares simliar interests as me such as music etc. But im in 2 minds of what to do should i go for it and create tension, be happy with what i got or bide my time until she get drunk{joke btw}. Its my last year of school and im afraid ill lose all contact at all if i try something, but ill have to think of what could have been if i don't. the question is "is it better to have a relationship that goes so far or none at all??"

Red Alert

has she a b/f?

j0e9o

no, althought i dont know why?

ButcherOfNog

go for it, live life, u never know, u could get hit by a bus tomorrow

j0e9o

true enuff but i have a total lack of confidience i ve tried laying downsome moves but end up in a dead silence, which was really uncomfortable

quank

when she walks past you when you're sitting
trip her up and then catch her, ask if she is okay, and then make out
................ perfect playa style;)

only j/k:)

Seriously though
Lay some hints, SUBTLE hints, not wierd ones, they would make you like a bit psycho
Just smile at her or talk about stuff that you wouldnt normally talk about with her, reasonable things though
is it your 6th year in secondary school?

j0e9o

Originally posted by quank
Lay some hints, SUBTLE hints, not wierd ones, they would make you like a bit psycho
Just smile at her or talk about stuff that you wouldnt normally talk about with her, reasonable things though
is it your 6th year in secondary school?

the werid hints been there done that and yes 6th year so its not long till uni

angelofdeath

go for it man, or you'll always wonder what could've been

Oriel

Is she attracted to you?
If you don't know find out.

Otherwise I'd stay well away, personally.
Friendships aren't something to be messed with over something like this. You're a friend, leave it at that. No matter how hard it is, almost certainly, it'll be for the best in the long run.

j0e9o

Originally posted by Sinecure
Is she attracted to you?
If you don't know find out.

Otherwise I'd stay well away, personally.
Friendships aren't something to be messed with over something like this. You're a friend, leave it at that. No matter how hard it is, almost certainly, it'll be for the best in the long run.

yeah man but that doesn't = sex
lol only jokin ta for the comments but im still in the dilema i was b4? Its seriously hard to turn away from this but i keep pulling back... tbh i just have no idea what to do

tman

GOE GOE GOE!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?

Oriel

Originally posted by thomasmckinless
yeah man but that doesn't = sex
lol only jokin ta for the comments but im still in the dilema i was b4? Its seriously hard to turn away from this but i keep pulling back... tbh i just have no idea what to do

You didn't answer though:
"Is she attracted to you?
If you don't know find out."

I know it's hard to turn away from, but answer that first.
If she isn't attracted to you, well then.
If she is attracted to you, then come back to us with your dilemma.

DeadBankClerk

TELL HER THAT YOU LIKE HER.

Éomer of Rohan

And risk ruining a friendship?

Sorry, been there done that - it doesn't work. The girls I date tend to be as far out of my normal social circle as possible. Lost my best friend that way and very nearly came close to losing another

Taught me my lesson! :rolleyes:

The_Goose

look you have to say something to her or you ll be goin round for ages askin yourself "wha if"!
you ll prob see her loads at the weekend anyway during college!
just go up and tell her(privatly)
just tell her you liked her for ages but never had the guts to tell,
then say that you understand if she doesnt feel the same way just didnt want her to go without knowning!

she will either:
1:tell you that she likes you to!
your response:wwwoooooooooooohhhhhhhooooooooo!

2:say she only see s you as a friend!
your response: no harm in tryin sur see ya later!

JessieG

hello all

Ive been the girl where my BEST MATE!!!!!!!! ....turned around and told me they liked . TWICE actually and one told me that they loved me.

(BTW im in college five years so this isnt some ickle teenage thing)

anyway my point being i fancied neither of them!!!!! Wasnt even attracted to them! And i still went to the cinema the next day with the one who "loved" me....(apparantly) ( and yes were still best mates)

now dont get me wrong you will get the bitch who will scream and shout and ask what the F88k you playing at.... this has ruined our friendship bla bla bla but any friend worth her soxs SHOULD realise that this is the biggest compliment a friend of the oppiste sex can bestow. And if she doenst feel the same she should say so nicely!!!!!

cutting the long story short its a catch 22.
YES you will be always left wondering if ye head off to differnt colleges!
NO-no friendhship is worth ruining over messing around.

BUT if this whole thing does backfire......as you said ye're both heading to college and will proably lose contact.
Go for it if it backfires .......then thats life id your friendship is strong enough then it will move past it. If not .....well then circumstances quite conviently means that ye dont have to maintain contact if you dont want to.

Swampy

I liked a friend of mine. She would have been my best (girl)friend for the last 5 or 6 years apart from girlfriends. I have known her for 9 years. I became single early this year and after taking a while to think about it, I wondered what it would be like to kiss her. So I invited her out for a drink (easy to do coz we were mates) and went back to hers after to watch telly. It killed me to do it, but I told her how I felt about her, that we got on so well, I found her attractive and that I just wanted to kiss her to see how it would feel. It came a little out of no-where for her and she was a little take aback. I left a little while after and organised to meet again as friends with the rest of them the next day. She understood it was a no pressure kiss and we remained frends. Was a tiny bit wierd for a short time.

Women being the strange creatures that they are, take time to anlyise things. Anyhoo a couple of weeks later, she made a move on me. Then a quiet period blah blah blah, basically at this stage we are going out 2 months and it feels feckin amazing. Very much worth the risk. To be able to go out with someone who is already a close friend that you can trust i feckin brilliant.

Even knowing her for that long already, we still have that deadly honeymoon period feeling. Just go for it!!!! Be brave and go for it!!!

dub45

Is there no mutual friend that you could ask to see if the subject of her being attracted to you has ever come up? or even to get the friends opionion on the situation?

Lucutus

Originally posted by ButcherOfNog
go for it, live life, u never know, u could get hit by a bus tomorrow

Listen to this man, he speaks from experience.

Kell

Go for it- its never failed for me but if you get knocked back, just handle it well.

God I am in a terrific humour today. Tra la la.....

K-

Bottle_of_Smoke

just think of a girl you're really good friends with and if she decided she liked you, but you didn't like her back in that way. Youd prob be grand bout it, she may not but men are less bitchy so it should be grand whatever you do

seamus

Every single male friend my gf has had in college, has turned around drunk and told her they love her. And I love being there to say "TOLD YA SO!".

Seriously, if she's not attached, go for it. The fact that you like her means the friendship will always be distorted from your side at least, and if you don't do something about it now, you'll wake up one morning and regret it. It actually sounds about the right time now. Familiar enough that she's comfortable in your prescence, yet not such great mates that this 'revelation' will ruin a good friendship. Go for it.

DeadBankClerk

Originally posted by Éomer of Rohan
And risk ruining a friendship?

Can you have a serious friendship with someone that you really fancy?

Lump

Yea, cause at the moment, I'm trying to do it......



John

Dancing_Priest

Yeah , its hard aint it?

Éomer of Rohan

DeadbankClerk, it's hard to manage if you feel very strongly about them but you just constantly have to remind yourself what you can lose.

smiles

Originally posted by Éomer of Rohan
And risk ruining a friendship?

Sorry, been there done that - it doesn't work. The girls I date tend to be as far out of my normal social circle as possible. Lost my best friend that way and very nearly came close to losing another

Taught me my lesson! :rolleyes:

Jesus. This is one of the reasons why I'm losing faith in guys.

Being friends with someone is a good idea before you go out with them, rather than having them as part of a seperate group who you just date.

<< Fio >>

Number6

I'm in the same predicament. I'm thinking about asking this girl out on a date. She's dead sound and a friend of mine, she even went to the debs with me at the weekend.... hmm, why didnt i ask her then ?

I've had bad luck in relationships, my previous g/f was sleeping around on me... and i had to find that out by myself as non of my "friends" would tell me, some friends eh.

thomasmckinless, go for it tbh. Why not?



Anyway, anyone have any advice for meh?

Éomer of Rohan

Number 6, I think that it depends on how much you value the friendship you have with the girl you want to ask out; if she is a really good friend and you have a friendship that surpasses most of your other friendship, then I'd hold back unless you are 100% sure she'll say yes - but if the friendship is not as I described, I'd ask her.

sceptre

Originally posted by smiles
Being friends with someone is a good idea before you go out with them, rather than having them as part of a seperate group who you just date.

Of course it is. I'm picturing a gang of chaps moving silently around the country:

"Hmmm, possible relationship in the offing, don't make friends, it might happen"

"Uggggh, don't fancy her at all, I'll just put her in the 'sound friend' category and feel safe asking her if she wants me to get sugar for her tea"

"Wow she's fit. Has personality, check. Nice smile, check. I'll just waggle my pert ass, ignore her and see if she feels horny when she gets drunk"

Éomer of Rohan

Hmmm, yes I can see I'm taking flak for that earlier statement about preferring to date people outside of my social circle;

it isn't quite the rather predatory way sceptre has envisioned; I rather mean that they may be on the edge of people I know well (for example the girl I was previously talking about and had been friends with before asking her out, I have known for 19 years and been friends for as long as I could realistically be expected to have friends) - so rather than advocating finding random girls, I'd rather be saying that I like to date girls I know but whom I don't know quite so well since there isn't as much to lose - ie on the outside of my social circle.

logic

You said she's not one of your best friends, so you
will probably lose contact when you finish school.
Trust me, its better to know than not know.

j0e9o

Originally posted by logic
You said she's not one of your best friends, so you
will probably lose contact when you finish school.
Trust me, its better to know than not know.

very true

ur mentor

why does every one assume if the physical sexual relationship fails then the mental personal friendship dies also?
You need to go out with this friend as an adult in a sexual way if she is interested. if not dont get drunk or do anything stupid to mean you can never talk to her again and share your friendhip.
i just finished arranging to meet a lady friend i went out with years ago.we both went our separate ways and didnt even speak for ten years. (but this was a distance thing). now we are nearby again and are having fun remembering old stuff and discovering new stuff. old bonds get us through some of the differences our lives have developed within us. And we both know we cant have old bonds and memories with new friends and colleagues.
so u cant lose if you behave like an gentleman and be clear and listen to her response.;)