Hand Fasting

The_Conductor

Am looking into a hand fasting cermony.
Are there any steps or observations I would have to complete?
My significant other has officially left the Catholic church, (Beat- if you're reading this- its not the little troll you're familiar with- she is gone- I saw sense!)
Have been recommended a little reading material- but I suppose face to face discussions are best. Have copies of Natural Magic and a Witch Alone, which make a lot of sense, unfortunately my two friends are a little far afield to meet up.
Any ideas

Another little query- how do you handle parents (including gaurdians and adoptive parents) who are very very Christian when you tell them that you are planning on attending a fasting cermony. Of course you could just not mention it, and pretend or something- but I'm not a big one for lying- but at the same time I do not delibertly try to thread on other peoples beliefs- regardless of my own thoughts on them.

Any of ye had similar?

Shane

silja

Hi there,
you may want to have a look at this thread about handfastings , which will give you a broad overview of the topic. One thing to keep in mind is that a handfasting is not legal, so you will need to get married in the registry office too if you want your marriage to be legal (not everyone is bothered about that of course...).

In regards to family, if you are just planning on attending someone elses handfasting, I would be honest- you are an open person who is honouring your friend's belief by attending their ceremony. If it is your own, you have several options- what many couples do is have a handfasting that is not "in-your-face" Pagan; the circle is cast by the celebrant before the guests arrive, and instead of God and Goddess, a higher power is mentioned, or just nature. You can even involve family by having them do non-reliigious readings (such as a Shakespeare sonnet)- there is some nice stuff about love in the bible too, especialy in Song of Songs. Two other options is have a full-on Pagan handfasting- if so, make sure everyone knows what it is and that they are free to come to the afters only if they do not wish to be present, and provide a type of "mass-booklet" which includes the ceremony and explains what it means. Or, invite friends to the handfasting, and family to the civil ceremony, not letting family know at all about the spiritual wedding.

The_Conductor

Thanks for the description and the background- the cermony sounds lovely, and just like something that both of us would appreciate. If you have read some of my other recent postings on boards (not on this forum- the personal issues etc) you'll get a better idea of where both of us would be coming from -both have left Christianity, my girlfriend has an official statement from the archbishop recanting her catholicism, and has had both her baptismal certificates and other documentation ammended. We are both adopted people and believe in among other things the sanctity of life and nature, and living in a balance of good. It was a friend of ours who suggested a hand fasting cermony, knowing our distinct lack of enthusiasm (read total rejection) for having anything to do with christianity.
Reason for the query on parents- both sets of adoptive parents are devout catholics (not that we talk to them all that much anymore). Curiously both sets of natural parents would be more akin to our own beliefs- but for other reasons will not be able to attend anyway :-( Probable timeline- about 6 months time.

Shane