A Thurles Guide - For outsiders looking in

Rabies

I'm from Thurles and i got this in a email today. Its all true. Just had to post it.

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Certain Preliminaries need to be observed in order to gain maximum
enjoyment
out of your stay.

1. Thurles people like to regard their home as unique indeed for
the
greater
Thurles hinterland it is the centre of the universe, this can be
hard to
accept on first glance, however if you throw in quips like " Moi
Jaysus,
It'
s bleedin' grate to be in the hoem of hurlin'" you'll get on
fine.
Acceptance of Thurles's status as the capital of the GAA is an
essential
part of acceptance as an equal.

2. Michael Lowry can do no wrong in these peoples eyes, he is the
messiah
who parted the Red Sea, he is The Prophet Elijah, The Liberator
of
Palestine
and Good King Solomon all rolled into one. Never question this
eternal
truth. Taking the name of the Great One in vain will cause you an
awful
lot
of hassle from the locals.

3. Everything in Thurles happens around Liberty Square
(d'squaarur),
you'll
never be able to drive round it, unless you're the long lost
cousin of Bo
and Luke Duke so forget it. When walking up d'squaaur you will be
accosted

by a local with the salutation "Well ?" In Dublin this is usually
followed

with the greeting " are youse startin' somethin'" In Thurles
"Well" is the

common greeting, In fact a whole conversation can be built around
the word

"Well" ?

John Ryan: Well
Wille Ryan: Well
John Ryan: ( leaving Willie) Well
Willie Ryan: ( waving good bye to John) Well

4. The local newspaper is the Tipperary Star ( d'staarr) It's
probably
best
described as a Blue and Gold Edition of An Phoblacht. When
D'Staar comes
out, Thurles people huddle around in corners of the d'squaarur
trying to
find out what Culbaire says this week. Culbaire is a bon vivant
and GAA
critic, the Thurles equivalent of Eamon Dunphy, what he says
goes, he will

pass a judgement in all likeliness on the Dublin v. Kerry game,
if you
don't
like his prediction you'll have to lump it.

5. On the Social Front Thurles boasts three niteclubs. D'Ragg is
about two

miles at of town heading for Borris-Illeigh. D'Ragg is basically
a large
function room and Bar laid down in the middle of a sheep-field.
The common

phrase that best describes the place would be " are you going to
the
D'Ragg
for a shag", you'll have to get a minibus out to it. Gerry " The
Yank"
Ryan
provides the most comprehensive of public transport systems with
his fleet

of Ford Transits. In Thurles they don't speak of the Dart, but
basically
of
"Getting Gerry D'Yank"

6. The Munster Hotel is where you'll find your jail-bait, unless
you want
to
be paying child-support on foot of a Mid-Western Health Board
Order, I'd
avoid the place. The other option is the controversial Hayes's
Hotel .

7. If someone offers to drive you to a party in Littleton, do not
under
any
circumstances accept.

8. Wearing a Clare Jersey around Thurles is a serious fashion
no-no.

9. Supermacs in d'squaarur could be a bridge too far for your
digestive
system, During one of the final Feile's I saw a Hell's Angels
dude eating
a
Snack-Box in there, he spat most of the contents out, and left
the rest, a

Crusty with hawkish eyes and the style of a vulture swooped down
at ate
the
remainder of the Snackbox, I've never eaten a snack-box in there
since.
Bon
Appetit

10. Finally be enjoy the game, Semple Stadium is a marvellous
venue, the
fact that it's a Big Ball encounter will mean a certain Je ne
Sais Quoi
will
be lost, but fear not, you'll have had a memorable weekend win,
lose or
draw.

BlitzKrieg

Dude i'm from thurles...your so right hence why i got out very very quickly.


My mom is prob your doctor HAHAHA gonna get her to feed u laxitives muhahahahahaha

Rabies

Originally posted by BlitzKrieg
My mom is prob your doctor HAHAHA gonna get her to feed u laxitives muhahahahahaha

Well if your mom is a bloke then maybe she could be my doctor
I think number 5 is brilliant. The Yank should be happy with the free advertising he is getting.

Agent7249

I got kinda sick of it after 1. But the doctor thing between you and blitz was funny

Dempsey

Originally posted by Rabies

7. If someone offers to drive you to a party in Littleton, do not
under
any
circumstances accept.

8. Wearing a Clare Jersey around Thurles is a serious fashion
no-no.

Them two points are the best.

Littleton is great. Good 'ole benny's

Wearing a Clare jersey WILL get you to the top of the Hospital Waiting list alright:D

Rabies

Originally posted by Dempsey
Littleton is great. Good 'ole benny's

Wearing a Clare jersey WILL get you to the top of the Hospital Waiting list alright:D

Going to Littleton will also get you to the top of the hospital waiting list.

Dempsey

Not if your one of em like me