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Blonde Jokes

  • 19-11-2003 10:47pm
    #1
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 1,413 ✭✭✭


    Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
    A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

    Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
    A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

    Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
    A. Nothing, they haven't met!

    Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
    A. Humpme Dumpme

    Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
    A. More leg-room!

    Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
    A. They chip their teeth.

    Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
    A. More headroom

    Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
    A. Because everyone gets a turn.

    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
    A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

    Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
    A. An airbag.

    Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
    A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.

    Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
    A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
    A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

    Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
    A. Brain tumor.

    Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
    A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

    Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
    A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

    Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
    A. Because they both drip when they're ****ed!

    Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
    A. So she could lip read.

    Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
    A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

    Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
    A. Pregnant

    Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
    A. Butter is difficult to spread.

    Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
    A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

    Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
    A. Artificial intelligence.

    Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
    A. A brunette with bad breath.

    Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
    A. She opens the car door.

    Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
    A. Cause it said concentrate.

    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
    A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

    Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
    A. The joystick is wet.

    Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
    A. To keep their ankles warm.

    Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
    A. An interpreter.

    Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
    A. She sold her car for it...

    Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
    A. Their both empty from the neck up

    Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
    A. A blow job with handlebars

    Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
    A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

    Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
    A. It has a stamp on it.

    Q. How do you drown a blonde?
    A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

    Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
    A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

    Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
    A. Because there is cheese beside the mouse.

    Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?
    A. Practice.

    Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
    A. It takes too long to retrain them.

    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
    A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.


Comments

  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 1,413 ✭✭✭Lady


    sorry its so long but they are very good

    and sorry to any blondes


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 390 ✭✭Zer0^


    lol ,
    Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
    A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

    blonde jokes are posted every mouth :P

    but funnier every time


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,190 ✭✭✭UnrealQueen


    Originally posted by The Goddess
    Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
    A. Humpme Dumpme


    Luv this one, lol


    :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,441 ✭✭✭The_Goose


    good good!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 398 ✭✭pyramid man


    heard them all before.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    hahahha
    very good, alot of those i havent seen before


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 290 ✭✭CareBear


    Originally posted by The Goddess
    Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
    A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

    Ok didnt get that one! :confused:

    Q. What this?

    *twirls around*

    A. A blonde in a microwave! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭BoB_BoT


    Originally posted by CareBear
    Ok didnt get that one! :confused:

    Q. What this?

    *twirls around*

    A. A blonde in a microwave! :D

    vegetable = not so bright person :)
    had a good laugh at those


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    Mossy takes it The Goddess isn't blonde

    mostly very good :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 921 ✭✭✭Shaque attack


    some good ones that i hadn't heard before:)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,543 ✭✭✭sionnach


    roflmao, some are absoolute gems :) n1 goddess


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