more proposal stuff

LegacyUser

just been reading the thread on popping the question and looking for a bit of opinion from any ladies on the board

should the guy buy the ring in advance?
I know its traditional, but i'm wary of spending a huge amount of cash on a ring she may not like (what the f*** do I know about rings?) and I'm sure she'd enjoy the opportunity to choose a ring.

also can anyone recommend a good place to buy one?

patch

Buy a decent dress ring for popping the question, then a let her pick a decent one.

Beruthiel

you must know her well enough to have an idea on her taste

look at the stuff she wears - if it's silver than white gold is the way to go
subtly and not too garish, I believe* women like to be surprised on this particular subject and the ring can always be changed afterwards if she doesn’t like it

*just cos I'm a women doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about on this particular subject

Shilo

I would honestly say that buying a ring in advance is a bad idea. Go looking for it together but before the two of you go out, sit down and honestly tell her how much you can afford. That way you both have the fun of going out and choosing together. She doesn't feel she has to keep something she may not be entirely happy with to avoid hurting your feelings and you don't have to get stressed out trying to second guess her.

Sure, rings CAN be taken back but that's likely to mean that you have to choose another ring from that same store - she may have her heart set on something else entirely and then no one's happy. And the other thing that I found when I got engaged was this: you may think you want a certain type of design or setting, only to find out that it really doesn't suit your finger shape. She needs to be able to try rings on to see what they look like before making a decision.

It's wonderful that you're asking her to marry you but remember, she has to wear the ring - and hopefully, for life so make sure it's something she likes. And face it, most of us girls would be a little pissed off at missing the opportunity of wandering round looking at diamonds! (Or maybe that's just me and my never ending jewellery obsession? )


P.S. I had a friend who wore nothing but silver for all the years I knew her but decided she did want a yellow gold engagement ring...so really, there's just no telling!

LegacyUser

I was in your very position recently, to buy the ring or not ?

I decided not to buy it and take her out shopping for one (thankfully she said YES !!).

She was delighted that I hadn't bought one so she could choose her own and its just as well as the ring we finally choose wasn't what I would have bought. I must admit it was nice to be able to do the shopping with her for once !

I'd agree that you should have a chat about a bugdet for the ring before you go shopping, no point in her picking a ring you can't afford.

Best of luck, I hope she says yes. If she does it'll be the best feeling in the world for both of you.