normal??

LegacyUser

Can someone please tell me if this was normal behaviour when you were younger? I had a friend who was a few years older than me, four or so(not sure on this). I was seven or so at the time, she would want me to touch her in places that I did not think was right. I am female also. She would then ask me to do the same to her. I was not allowed tell anyone about it and we always had to do this in secret. I have told two to three people in my life about this. Is that kind of behaviour ok for kids. Am I just over reacting about something that everybody did. I feel completely confused about the whole thing.

dudara

In my opinion you were both innocent and curious. That's all. Only in this day and age, people are very wary of such things happening to their child. I can't see any reason to be confused. It happened a long time ago, and in an innocent fashion.

bug

kids tend to explore their sexuality at this age and younger..from an adults perpective, because we are so sinical and our innocence is gone we look at it in a different way. Which may be why your questioning it now.

I mean doctors and nurses for example was purely a physical exploration game. You probably felt guilty at the time because you were becoming "aware" perhaps and losing your innocence.

A thing in some kids is where they mimic acts or behaviour that they have seen adults do, obviously not understanding their actions.

Im not a parent and I think It really depends on the actual event you speak of and what/how exactly it happened and how "aware" the older child was at the time.

Victor

Is it possible she was acting out abuse she was going through? Are you still in contact with her? While yes children are curious, the "secret" bit makes me wonder.

DeadBankClerk

That was just curiousity. Don't mind it.

(I was *so* temped to post 'Maybe she's gay', but somehow managed not to).

Beruthiel

good lad DBC
maybe next time you'll not even mention it at all....

normal??
it’s probably nothing more than curiosity, you should have seen some of the things my niece got up to when she was younger!

hedgetrimmer

It's a perfectly natural, document, researched and widely accepted stage of development of the child and a child's interaction with those around him/her, their sexual selves, and their own sense of physical identity.

Just chalk it down to that, as that is all it is. On the other hand, if you are beginning to question your sexuality now, then allow that to happen as a separate issue - it has nothing necessarily to do with this childhood encounter

Busy Hands

I would agree with the responses of the other posters on here in suggesting it was a harmless & innocent act. The only part which would concern me is :
Quote "I was not allowed tell anyone about it and we always had to do this in secret. " It may suggest that something similar was being said to her by a far less innocent and more calculating individual, as I see Victor has also said.

catspring

seems fairly normal to me.
i imagine the secret bit could be coz at 11, your friend probably was beginning to lose her innocence. sex and stuff has often been put across as being something you don't talk about by many parents, so your friend might've just felt that she should be embarassed about it.
dunno if i explained that as i meant to....

Big Chief

Originally posted by Beruthiel

it’s probably nothing more than curiosity, you should have seen some of the things my niece got up to when she was younger!

so where is this aforementioned niece nowadays then?*










*probably best not to answer that

seamus

I'd imagine even the secret thing is no big deal either. At a very young age, we are taught to cover ourselves up, not flash our bits in public, so regardless of whether it's said or not, we're conditioned to believe that they're somehow 'dirty'. Looking at our own bits is fine, but showing them to others is no-no. :rolleyes:

I had a mate who was a few years older than us, and used to play pocket billiards all the time, we didn't know what he was doing. It's only now we slag him about it.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Big Chief
so where is this aforementioned niece nowadays then?*

she's nine BC, so get your dirty little mind outta the sewer!

yossarin

I'd chalk the whole thing up to childhood. Children are not aware of themselves sexually, whatever padeophiles may think.

I've heard worse thats still been above board and innocent.
I'd agree with catspring and seamus about the 'secret' thing - at 11 kids are beginning to be aware that boys and girls are different.

anyway, thats my "man in the pub" opinion.

LegacyUser

hello.

i think an important question is how did you actually feel about it? how did you feel about it at the time to you? how do you feel about it now? is it something you think about often...i am just wondering because they are important questions. it could very well have been innocent childhood stuff. it could also have been the other child acting out adult behaviours. i dont think labelling it is as important as you dealing with your feelings on it...

Billy Turdhed

Sexual curiosity is perfectly normal in children, you should treat it all as part of growing up..

When I was a young Master Turdhed a young lady suggested that "If you show me yours I will show you mine"

I said "Certainly not Betty.... this is for my use only and my blushing bride will be the first to view her"

She wasn't too happy but Im sure I did the right thing.......and kept my promise

Relax



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