Really not sure whether to go after a girl

LegacyUser

Ok so this is probobly gonna seem like a really minor thing to all of you experienced folk out there, but its a major thing to me so we see what happens.

Firstly, the inevitable bit of embarassing background info. /me is 20, male and has never had a girlfriend. Strange as that may seem, I'm aware its ridiculous and needs to stop. Trouble is, that doing a Maths degree and being a bit of a loner really doesnt help. I want a girlfriend more than ANYTHING at the moment.

Anyway. Theres this new girl which I'll call Miriam (not her real name) appeared at work. She's lovely to look at and is the first girl in ages thats I've actually clicked with. We'll talk and actually laugh, poke fun at each other, smile at each other and be able to talk about rubbish for ages. Also, shes the only girl I've ever met with a sense of humour as insane as mine.

So I was ready to go after her and ask her out when I heard about her from the other lads. Apparently she's the worlds biggest flirt and at the staff nights out, which I didnt go to (college work ), she was after all the lads blatently, so much so it annoyed them. She also told me a story yesterday about how she went up, on a dare, and gave the huge bouncer of a nightclub a big hug and a kiss.

According to one of the lads at work, she also tried to chat up one of the other lads whos currently going out with someone else at work, which resulted in a fight between Miriam and this other girl.

So I asked one of the lads about her, and lots of people refuse to talk to her and dont like her - why, I dont know.

Now I would never have gathered this from talking to her. Which worries me.

I'm not really sure what to do. Should I go after her and ask her out, or would I be putting my foot firmly in the **** on this???

Trouble is its very very rare to meet a girl that I can actually get on with, that might actually like me a bit.

HELP.

ferdi

go for it, the only thing you can loose is your self respect which you seem to have very little of anyways.

girldef

Firstly, she might not be as bad as people make out... it could just be a small thing blown out of proportion
Secondly, its what you think of her that matters, surely if you've spent alot of time with her you would know her more than her accusers and if you like her go for it!

If your still not sure bear in mind that you are doin your degree and it might be a distraction... (bad thing)

She sounds like what I call a "sunshine" girl. She'll flirt with anything and everything just to get attention. It's actually pretty common. That's why you're clicking so well with her, because people like this are always extremely easy to get along with due to their flirty, outgoing personalities.

It wouldn't surpirse me that she went after a few people at a party, however I'd bet money that a lot of the lads are just like "She was all over me, boyz" when in fact she probably just talked to them for a minute. I can also understand why she went after a guy with a girlfriend - because he's unnatainable in her eyes making him irresistable. Sunshine girls don't want guys like you that will fall for her. She uses people like you as confirmation of her beauty.

I see this a lot actually with people like you. Inexperienced with women, when one girl suddenly seems to take a mad interest in you by flirting etc then you can't believe it and fall head over heals for her. This girl isn't girlfriend material. She's the type of girl you score and then forget about it. If you actually went out with this girl she would still flirt with anyone and everyone and have you going crazy.


OF COURSE, this is all hypothetical, depending on if this girl is truely genuine - HOWEVER just think about what I've said and see how much of it fits this girls' description. I think you'll be surpirsed...




BTW in future you should be a man about it. A boy goes on a internet forum and asks 'should I ask this girl out!!??'...while a man sees what he wants and goes for it. So what if she was to say no, it's only a girl...be a man(of action)

Doodee

Right, just remember, just cause you go out on a date doesn't mean u have to take it any further.

Ask her out, if she declines, then boo hoo, the lads may say stuff about for a week or teo but that will be it, you just move on, its how life and the dating scene go.

If yee do go out and click then there is no reason not to continue it.
The girl may like attention, but like alot of people i know who are similar, they still know where home is and although u may find it tough to start out with (With all the attention she gets) you'll get used to it.

But theres no harm in trying. So go for it.

Kali

I fully agree with utility.. you will get burnt by this girl if your in anyway insecure, which you probably are... but go ahead sure, it'll give you a bit of confidence if nothing else and might be a bit of fun... just don't expect anything serious from a person like that... your call.

DMT

Just ask her out. At worst, you'll have learned something....

NeMiSiS

K honestly didnt read half yer original post man..
But agreed with DMT do it,do it now , what the **** is the worst than can happen "No" who gives a ****? Ya gotta take a chance. Do it. Dont look back. See sig.

Tom

tinkerbell

I reckon you should jus go for it and ask her out! You'll never know until you ask, and besides - tiz better off askin her now rather than wondering "will she, won't she" and drivin yourself mad!

malico

Veer on the charming side of aggressive... Attention seekers love that!

Ie asking her out like.

"I'm heading to the pub for a drink. You're coming....No you are...."


But that said all i seem to pick up are psychos..

Typedef

Good christ man.

Less with the thinking about it... more with the asking her out... drink some calming tea, before you do

AL][EN

I agree with utility on this one, from the way your describing this she sounds like an attention seeker, dont get me wrong if you like this woman and you genually do click then why not go ahead and ask her out whats the worst that can happen but just beware of what utility has said BUT as i says it shouldnt stop you from asking her out at the very least if you ask her out it will bring you out of your shell somewhat.

What you need is courage next time there's a staff party on go to it no matter how much you dread it, with a bit of dutch courage go and chat to her if you still click outside of work then for god sakes ask her out.

G'luck hope it works out for you