Good, Bad, Worse

malico

Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.

Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.

quank

Originally posted by malico

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.

LOL, genius...

Big Ears

that teacher 1 is hilarious. lol

Töpher

Is it wrong that I like the first one?!

Capt'n Midnight

Good: Your hubby & you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You're in them

Good: Your wife bought you a porn movie
Bad: It's over five years old
Worse: Your daughter's the star

Good: Your son's interested in school
Bad: He has to do extra credit to pass
Worse: Making a sex ed video

Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Worse: He looks better than you

Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Worse: So are you

Good: You give the "Birds & Bees" talk to your kids
Bad: They keep interrupting
Worse: With corrections !

Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Worse: She's a lawyer (a GOOD one)

Good: Your wife sez you can go hunting all you want
Bad: Because she's leaving you
Worse: For another woman

Good: Your wife is helping bring in income
Bad: She's arrested for soliciting
Worse: She implicates you

Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing camies and has an AK-47
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year

Good: Hot outdoor sex
Bad: You're arrested
Worse: By your spouse

Good: The teacher likes your son
Bad: Sexually
Worse: They're both gay

Good: You came home for a quickie
Bad: The postman had the same idea
Worse: There's a line, waiting

Good: You get a three-day weekend
Bad: You get the flu on Friday
Worse: It's Tuesday morning already

Good: You finally get a nite out
Bad: You're seen going into a strip show by a gossip
Worse: Your daughter's the headliner

Good: Your husband's exercising and dieting
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better

Good: Your child's waiting for "Mr Right"
Bad: Your son, that is
Worse: He's received answers to his personals ad

Good: Your neighbors exercise in the nude
Bad: They weigh 375 pounds
Worse: They catch you looking, and smile

Good: Your wife loves outdoor sex
Bad: You live downtown
Worse: Neither of you drive

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude
Bad: She's coming home
Worse: From her weekly Woman's Club meeting

Good: Your wife's kinky
Bad: With the neighbors
Worse: ALL of them

Good: You're having regular sex in the Office
Bad: The Big Boss catches you
Worse: It's his daughter

Good: You finally hit the lottery for $15 million
Bad: You can't find your ticket
Worse: Your wife has it

Good: Your son finally has a hobby
Bad: It's Body Piercing
Worse: The dog has rings in his tail

Good: Your computer is finally running quiet
Bad: All three hard drives crashed
Worse: You have no back-ups at all

Good: You get a prescription for Viagra
Bad: You got a loan to buy a year's supply on the Net
Worse: No one wants to sleep with you

Good: You finally meet Ms teen hotpants from ICQ after 6 months of Cyber
Bad: "She's" a man
Worse: He's with the FBI

Good: You get the afternoon off
Bad: You catch your wife cheating
Worse: With your mistress

Good: Your wife sez your daughter is learning to cook
Bad: You smell burnt fish
Worse: All of your aquariums are empty

Good: Your wife's learning to use the computer
Bad: She found all your porn pics
Worse: She replaced them with male stipper & lesbian pics

Good: You get an all expense trip overseas
Bad: You have to leave at once
Worse: Your Army reserve unit's been activated

Good: Your wife informs you she's hired a "reliable" pool boy
Bad: He's a member of the Chippendale's
Worse: You don't even have a pool

Good: You're invited to appear on TV
Bad: It's the Jenny Jones Show
Worse: She sez she has several "surprises" for ya

Good: You decide to have laser eye surgery
Bad: The Doctor just got out of med school
Worse: He sets the laser to vaporize

Good: You get a three-day military pass
Bad: None of the locals speak English
Worse: They hate all Americans

Good: You buy a fancy sports car at an auction
Bad: The Police keep stopping you
Worse: The former owner was a drug dealer

Good: Your daughter got a modeling job
Bad: With Victoria's Secret
Worse: She poses in the store window

Good: You won a First Prize at the county fair
Bad: In the Pet/Owner Look-Alike contest
Worse: Your pet is a pot-belly pig

Good: Your noisy neighbors are moving
Bad: The County bought the property
Worse: For a sex-offender rehab house

Good: Your wife wants to do things together
Bad: She's a Sky-Diver
Worse: She's packing your parachute

Good: Your son gives you a present he bought himself
Bad: It's a case of beer
Worse: He's a 12-year-old

Good: Maryland's hot/dry summer is over
Bad: Forecasters predict a wet winter
Worse: In the form of weekly blizzards

Diddy Kong

thats good stuff