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Real men answer C!

  • 01-12-2003 10:32am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭


    1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire earth. You decide
    to:
    A. Present it to the President of the United States.
    B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
    C. Take it apart.





    2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
    A. Innocence
    B. Idealism
    C. Lego.





    3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
    A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions B. When he is the Pope (but not on the lips)!
    C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.





    4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
    A. A cat.
    B. A dog.
    C. A dog that eats cats.





    5 You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sundayafternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
    A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
    B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
    C. That you cannot believe that Liverpool took Owen off when they only had a one goal lead.





    6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
    A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
    B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
    C. Tell her what?





    7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her i
    is:
    A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
    B. "They're in school already?"
    C. "We have three of them?"





    8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
    A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
    B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
    C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear.


    9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
    A. Democracy.
    B. Religion.
    C. Remote control.





    10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
    A. He was being tested.
    B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
    C. He refused to ask for directions.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 452 ✭✭xern


    Thats Feckin class!!!!:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 345 ✭✭Agent7249


    Yep C for all but the veteran underwear one, Dont have any lol, clean clean clean :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    the sweeping generalisations

    but still good


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Diddy Kong


    C. "We have three of them?"

    pure class...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Some real good ones there :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,117 ✭✭✭✭MrJoeSoap


    C. That you cannot believe that Liverpool took Owen off when they only had a one goal lead.

    Thats quality stuff.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,004 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    football?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,236 ✭✭✭AL][EN


    LMFAO!! :D:D pure class

    yep C all the way for me


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,013 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Originally posted by malico
    A. Present it to the President of the United States.
    B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
    C. Take it apart *

    Scores:
    C. Aware yourself 5 Bonus points if you have the Swiss Army Knife on you


  • Registered Users Posts: 354 ✭✭Commissar


    Brilliant. Cracked me up:D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 ✭✭✭quank


    LOL
    that school one is excellent....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 921 ✭✭✭Shaque attack


    Originally posted by malico


    3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
    A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions B. When he is the Pope (but not on the lips)!
    C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

    Class:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,979 ✭✭✭Big Ears


    nice one !!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,147 ✭✭✭oneweb


    lmfao! esp @ C. Take it apart :D

    It is what it's.



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