helpful man

Diddy Kong

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.”

“But I'm not pregnant,” she says.

“Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says.

rocco

not great

Diddy Kong

sorry, here is one to make up for it


Tom, Dick and Harry, three explorers, were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo.

The cannibal chief says to them, "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit.

"So the three guys scamper into the woods, and Tom comes back first with 10 apples. The Chief explains the trial to him, "You must shove the fruits up your butt without any statement on your face or you will be eaten."

The first apple was okay but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed and went to heaven (he was a good explorer).

Dick comes back with 10 berries and the chief explains the trial to him as well. Dick doesn't think it should be too tough and begins. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. But on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and is killed.

Tom and Dick meet in heaven where Tom asks, "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples."

Tyrrial

good, it's all good

Commissar

All is forgiven;)

Excellent.

Töpher

angelofdeath

way to redeem yourself...:)

quank

LOL
anyone ever see little nicky?:p