economics

Shaque attack

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.

However, if you're...
An American Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A Japanese Corporation
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.
A German Corporation
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
An English Corporation
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
An Italian Corporation
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A Russian Corporation
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A Swiss Corporation
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A Hindu Corporation
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A Chinese Corporation
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A Welsh Corporation
You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive ...
An Australian Corporation
You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows.
You die the first time you try to milk them.
An Irish Corporation
Who cares, The EU really owns them now and the pub is still serving.
A New Zealand Corporation
You have two cows.
You don't know what they are used for as they aren't sheep.
You shag them anyway.

BlitzKrieg

are u in my history course??? cause we used that as a definition of the different forms of ideologies...(weel its a bit different..i'll dig it up gimme a sec...)



FORMS OF RULE EXPLAINED A tale of two cows!

ANARCHY

You have two cows. Either your sell the milk at a fair price of your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows

COMMUNISM

You have two cows. You and your neighbours take care of them and share the milk

STALINISM

You have two cows. You take care of them, the Party takes the milk

DEMOCRACY

You have two cows. You and your neighbours vote to decide how the milk is distributed

SOCIALISM

You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. Everyone (to the best of their ability) takes care of all the cows. The government gives everyone as much milk as they need.

FASCISM

You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk

NAZISM

You have two cows. The government (NSDAP) takes both and shoots you

CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull

TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they every existed. Milk is banned



More democratic cows


American Democracy

The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press refer to the scandal as 'Cowgate'

British Democracy

You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Representative Democracy

You have two cows. Your neighbours vote for someone who will tell you who gets the milk

Singaporean Democracy

You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment - and investigates whether the cows have been chewing gum

Pugsley

old list but some true classics

A New Zealand Corporation
You have two cows.
You don't know what they are used for as they aren't sheep.
You shag them anyway.

brilliance.

Ameirgin

Fantastic!! I've heard it before, but it's still bloody brilliant!!

Diddy Kong

very funny

The_Goose

loved the irish one and the japanese! lol

LoneGunM@n

Excellent, especially:

Originally posted by BlitzKrieg
Singaporean Democracy
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment - and investigates whether the cows have been chewing gum

p.s. BlitzKrieg ... your sig cracks me up every time I see it

Agent7249

Jaysus, I didnt know about that sig until you mentioned it lonegunman. , lol.

As for the joke, yep tis class, Its in our colleges journal (LIT)

quank

excellento:)