Broken home

LegacyUser

I have a bit of a problem..
Nearlly all of the time that I am in the same room as my mother(39) and my brother(10) we are argueing, and this isn't your average argueing for e.g. if my brother wanted food at 11.00 PM and my mother said it's to late he would say things like "Your a fking alcoholic" or "I hope you fking die" and I think this is unacceptible from a 10 year old child, but that's not half the problem as my mother is usually drunk and drinks 7 nights a week, her excuse for this is that she works hard and is entitled to it. I have almost no friendship with my father and we only talk when necessary and this is really eating me apart. I'm a 16 year old lad and think having a friendship with your father is a big thing at this age. Sometimes I get so angry that I really feel like killing one of them, although I have more common sense to carry out these toughts. The thing is I have tried everything, I have tried talking, I have tried shouting, I have tried threatening them everything. I know threatening isn't going to help but it's hard not to when your so angry. And I'm starting to give up trying, I have a good life outside the house and have lots of friends and am a generally happy person but as soon as I enter the door of my house I feel like shouting at them automatically because they are proberly screaming at each other saying extremely stupid things that have no sense behind them. I have been meaning to post this for a while but didn't in hope tomorrow would be better somehow.

If anyone has any experience with this kind of thing I would appreciate it if you gave me some feedback.. Thanks in advance.

Havelock

Lived in a similar situation.
At one stage, when one of my sisters still lived at home, she and my father where always at each others throats.
I'd be fighting with both my sisters.
My mother was suffering a nervous break-down adn would only talk to me about her problems adn how bad a mother she was.
My father and I ignored each other, I'd leave the living room if he entered.

What I did.

Spoke to my father, told him how happy I was to have him as my father, promised to talk more with him. And kept the promise.

My Mother and One sister moved out, but still there is tension when ever she comes back up. Spoke to her about it, alone. Told her I couldn't be her crutch, that she needed to be easier on herself, she'd helped make me and my sisters (Though we are far from perfect, my parents did a great job, in my opinion)

Other sister moved out, lived with boyfriend and moved back in. Things are going ok, she just needs space.

The only thing, I did was talk. It may not have worked so far for you, but don't give up on it. Otherwise, do what i did in the top part, and avoid coming home as much as possible (not really recommending that)

It is really hard not having a "safe" environment to come home to, try to make it more so for your self.

DriftingRain

Maybe you should try some therapy. Then maybe the therapist can get your family involved and help your home issues out? I would think the best thing to do if fix yourself before tring to fix anyone else.

I'm sorry you've to feel that way at home.

~DR~

Peter_b_2003

U have described the classic alcoholic problem. It is an evil cynacial family disease and U have my deepest sympathy. I am a parent of 2 young kids 11 and 15 and their mom is alcoholic.
What can U do....detach from it as best U can with compassion for all concerned. There is group called alatten that cna help u with this. It will help U identify with what is happening by listening to the experience of other teenagers in ur situation and it will help u focus on yourself and giv U tools and mechanisms to help U achiev this.
Looka after urself and , if I was U I would not try to 'fix' anything but looak after urself.


Best wishes .