Bad engineering joke

gobby

ok this one is for the engineers. its really bad but one of our lecturers just loves it.

there was a plane flying from poland to russia.
during the flight the plane flew into some turbulance.
the captain came onto the intercom and says,
"ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some instabilitly,
could all the poles please move to the left side of the plane."

bad, isnt it...

Capt'n Midnight

No - a bad engineering joke looks like this

The designer of the human body was an engineer.
- who else would run a toxic waste pipe through a recreational area ?

angelofdeath

shoot him, im an engineer and thats just so cringe inducingly awful, damn:mad:

AL][EN

Actually i like Capt'n Midnight's joke LOL

as for the other joke i assume it has something to do with magnetic fields or the noth and south poles or something like that but speaking as an IT head i can simply say WTF!!!???

Havelock

I like those

gobby

capt'n midnight -> now thats a good engineering joke. at least non engineers can understand it!

Dont be at yourself

*grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

What's that?

An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

*grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

What's that?

A civil engineer.

ykt0di9url7bc3

/me cries

Yavvy

Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
*grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

What's that?

An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

*grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

What's that?

A civil engineer.

oh fu`ck thats funny

Capt'n Midnight

To an engineer an glass is neither half empty or half full, it's twice as big as it needs to be.

When were camping at the international scout jamboree in Switzerland the weather, thunder storm and all that, was so bad that the tents became saturated and to cap it all lightening hit one of the poles - so they all went back home the next day.

quank

Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
*grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

What's that?

An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

*grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

What's that?

A civil engineer.

hahaha, excellent


im so sad....

kmart6

Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
*grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

What's that?

An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

*grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

What's that?

A civil engineer.

I like alot very funneh

Why so sad Quank?

Deacon Blues

A guy walking through the Olympic Village with a huge pole.

An sprinter asks him "Are you a pole vaulter ??"

And he replies ... "No, I'm German, und my name is Hans".

DArcy

*shakes wrist and makes "grrr-grrr" noise*

What's that?

A Terrorist.



What's green and invisible?

*holds out empty hand, palm facing up*

This cabbage.

:rolleyes:

Pugsley

You all deserve to go to hell for those jokes, bullies

Lady

Those jokes are just so bad that they make you laugh....

OfflerCrocGod

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
No - a bad engineering joke looks like this

The designer of the human body was an engineer.
- who else would run a toxic waste pipe through a recreational area ?

I *think* you mean a civil engineer, not just an engineer.

Capt'n Midnight

"I say would you mind awfully if we put this pipe, you'll hardly notice it sir. "

Is that civil enough ?

4 Engineers in a car. It chuggs a bit and the engine stops running and they pull in to the side of the road.
The chemical engineer blames the petrol.
The electrical engineer blames the electrics.
The mechanical engineer blames the fuel pump.
The software engineer suggests they just get out of the car and then get back in again....

Tivoli

Q: whats the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?

A: a mechanical engineer builds weapons while a civil engineer builds targets

MarkR

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight

The software engineer suggests they just get out of the car and then get back in again.... [/B]

I thought he closed the windows and opened them again?

davros

Originally posted by gobby
ok this one is for the engineers. its really bad but one of our lecturers just loves it.

there was a plane flying from poland to russia.
during the flight the plane flew into some turbulance.
the captain came onto the intercom and says,
"ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some instabilitly,
could all the poles please move to the left side of the plane."

OK, here goes:

What's the contour integral of Western Europe?

Zero - there are no poles in Western Europe. (Actually, there are poles in Western Europe but they are removable.)

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by MarkR
I thought he closed the windows and opened them again?

Ok it was a driver problem..

Havelock

Arghhhhhhhhhh!
Sorry had to get it out of my system. These are so bad! But so damn funny.

rymus

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Ok it was a driver problem..

*ba-doom, tish*

blondie83

Another one for the eng heads

Two functions, f(x) and f(y) walk into a bar one day. They see all the other functions dancing and having a great time, but then they see poor old e^x sitting on his own at the bar. So they go up to hime and say " Ah whats wrong e^x, why don't you go integrate with the other functions?" and e^x says, "why bother, sure it wouldn't make a difference"!

(Okay I'm really, really sorry, I promise never to tell another joke again!)

Capt'n Midnight

Expert noun. from X meaning the unknown quantity and spurt - a drip under pressure.

the raven

what???!!!?? what the hell are you saying??? what the hell is a contour integral??
(am i simple or normal??)

gobby

Originally posted by blondie83

Two functions, f(x) and f(y) walk into a bar one day. They see all the other functions dancing and having a great time, but then they see poor old e^x sitting on his own at the bar. So they go up to hime and say " Ah whats wrong e^x, why don't you go integrate with the other functions?" and e^x says, "why bother, sure it wouldn't make a difference"!

hehe... thats kinda good.

damn! im an egghead...

gobby

Originally posted by the raven

what the hell is a contour integral??

its an integral taken around a countour such as a circle. dont worry if ye dont get it. its only crappy calculus... (probably better off not knowing bout it)

Commissar

Originally posted by the raven
what???!!!??
(am i simple or normal??)

Brilliant:D