favourite lines

lordsippa

I am the eggman!
I am the eggman!
I am the walrus!

:D mags :D

Originally posted by Barry Aldwell
Nobody at the first disco in S1 knew the words. Damn you all.

I knew all the words. Lots of people knew all the words.
And isn't it 'any way the wind blows', not hit me where the wind blows?

theymademedoit

another from that micheal collins film -
"whats this??" *picks up sod of turf*
"its a sod of turf"
"no its not, its a weapon!"

Peterfing

And isn't it 'any way the wind blows', not hit me where the wind blows?

NOW who doesn't know the words, Barry?

Plasticman

Since we're doing song lyrics...

News Flash: Vacuum Cleaner Sucks Up Budgie
Oooohh...bub-bye - Magnificent Seven by The Clash

twirly sponge

Originally posted by mags
I knew all the words. Lots of people knew all the words.

Yep, I knew all the words too.

purplepolkadot

glen hansard at the beginning of 'what happens when the heart just stops':
Eh, this next song is called ‘What happens when the Heart just stops’. Em, I was telling this story last night, em, about, just very quickly, I’ll summarise it tonight. There was a dog in our neighborhood when we were kids. This young dog, who, who used to sit on the corner, y’know… beside our school, y’know he would just sit on the corner, and he never moved, whenever we went to school, whenever we came home from school, weeks on end, summer holidays, the dog was always just sitting there, in the corner. And eh, he eh, he was very dutiful, he would just sit there like…y’know…and we’d kinda when we’d be coming home from school, we’d rub him, we’d be like ‘howaya’.
We called him Deefer, we didn’t know what his real name was, we called him Deefer, which was Deefer Dog. And he was the most polite thing, he just, he wouldn’t give us any trouble at all he’d just be like, y’know like ‘yeah, yeah, aw thanks, been out, now I’m back to business’. And the only time the dog ever got in any way riled up or excited was when a white estate car, it was like a, this Ford Escort Estate, if it was white, he would tear after it, losing the head. *Barks* This was his big moment, he’d get really excited and eh, chase the car. And we were thinking maybe, y’know, me and me mates, we were thinking, cos we’d sit on the grass and watch him, y’know, we’d kinda be thinking; *takes a drag* “I wonder wha’ he’s thinkin’ man”. Y’know, just, “Thanks man, it’s bleedin’ man, he just sits there all the time, doesn’t do anything, jus’ watching the traffic, and then look at the car, the white car, here, watch watch watch watch watch” *Barks*.
So, after years of observation we sort of sussed out that he had a thing with this white car; we theorized, because we were in that kinda mood. Em, we theorized that maybe his owner was knocked down by a white car, and he sits on the corner where it happened. Or maybe he was, his owner had him in the white car and just turfed him out when, y’know. “Here this’ll do. Here ya go lassie, off ya go, good boy.” Well, whatever the dog would just sit there and wait, so we never knew what he was waiting for, but we all ****in’ respected him so much. Cos this dog had a mission, y’know.
So this song is kinda written from his point of view.
We built him a kennel on the corner, me and my mates. It was really exciting; bits of wood and nails and hammers and we got all sort of riled up and we made him a kennel. And when he died we buried him on the corner aswell, so, he’s still there man. I dunno, don’t know what his deal was but he’s waiting for something...


I just think that's so darn cool, cos it's so sweet an cute

Squeee

I can't help but notice that there is a severe lack of family guy or zim qoutes on this!!!!
Father Ted:
"I took your keys, and I drove your car into a big wall....and if you don't like it...TOUGH! Coz I've had my fun, and that's all that matters.
Family Guy:
"Hey baby, what age are you?
'16'
"18? You're first!"
'Mom!'
"Ooh, I like where this is going!"

"Piss off ya grotty little wanker!"
"Mealy mouthed crotch-pheasent.....slack-bellied strumpet"

Zim:
"I go home! Now mind your business, bus slave!
"Quiet or I'll eat your head!"
"More organs means more human...it WILL work! <Bleurgh>"
"I put the fires out....."
'You made them worse!'
"Worse?......or BETTER?"
"I've never seen such a healthy young boy! And such plentiful organs!"

Winnie the Pooh:
Eeyore: "Nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that's what it is"

" 'Eeyore,' said owl, 'Christopher Robin is throwing a party'
'Very interesting,' said Eeyore. 'I suppose they will be sending me down the odd bits which got trodden on. Kind and thoughtful. Not at all, don't mention it.'
'There is an invitation for you'..
'Ah!', said Eeyore. 'A mistake no doubt, but still, I shall come. Only don't blame me if it rains.'"

Eeyore"And I said to myself: the others will be sorry if I'm getting myself all cold. They haven't got Brains, any of them, only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think, but if it goes on snowing for another six weeks or so, one of them will begin to say to himself: 'Eeyore can't be so very much too Hot about 3 o'clock in the morning.' And then it will Get about. And they'll be sorry"

There are some really good ones but I think Neil would kill me if I put them up. I think I put up too many long ones anyway. Still, they weren't obscene.

Zukustious

On the mention of Zim quotes:

Gir: Greetings children of earth. This is you new school anouncer. A special surprise manditory field trip is happening for the following lucky children; Morla, Flen, Regwarki, everyone one in Ms. Bitters's class... except for Zim, and especially Dib. All these children get to go to a special place made entirely of food... I like food, NOW CHECK THIS OUT! <gir makes beat box noises>.

Poop dogg: Sell 100 bars and you'll win a <chhhhzzz> adhesive medical strips.

Zim: You'll man the tractor beam, I'll pump the cows full of human sewage.
Gir: Cows are my frieeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnndssssss
Zim: ... I don't like you

The almighty Tallest: You have been assigned to the planet Blorch home of the slaughtering rat people. <Displays picture of Lark cowering aroung slaughtering rat people>
Lark: Why would you draw that?
Tallest: However, because of your increased height, we have decided to give you the planet Vort, home of the universes most comfortable couch.

mentalimplosion

susan came to new york from la
hitch-hiked her way across the usa
plucked her eyeborws on the way
shaved her legs
and then he was a she
i said hey honey, take a walk on the wild side

candy came from up on the island
in the backroom she was everybody's darlin'
never ever lost her head
even when she was givin' it
i said hey baby, take a walk on the wild side
-lou reed


oh, and i really love the *takes a drag*-iw onder what he's tinkin' man.... sheer class. gotta love that man. we wrote a eulogy for him in english today.


oh and
what is this? a centre for ants? it needs to be at least....... 3 times as big!

Barry Aldwell

Various quotes from my school, just to change the pace a bit

"You really should have page 5 up on your bedroom walls by now lads, alongside the picture of Jennifer Lopez. She'll age, lads, but maths won't."
- My applied maths teacher, today, during one of his more lucid moments.

"See you on Monday, if you haven't killed yourself by then."
- One of my classmates, today. In quite a serious voice. Oh dear.

"Do you think you're running some kind of banana republic here?"
- My Physics teacher, sometime last week, to a student that didn't have his book.

"I've got my own little fortress here, and it'll take some force to take me out of here"
- Physics teacher again

"I'm not gay, I swear"
- Substitute English teacher. It's supposedly a joke. He prances too much for that

"John has a red ball. What colour is John's red ball?"
- Not sure if the teacher in question even said this, but it's the kind of thing he'd say.

"No, he's not playing with himself"
- What playing dots in Geography class nets you

Teacher: "Is it (drawing he just confiscated) a self portrait?"
Student: "It's a kite"
Teacher: "Like I said, is it a self portrait?"
- What drawing in Geography class nets you

*to train* "Gracie"
- Teacher + Trip to Italy + 2 glasses of red wine = Much hilarity

*to parked car, after bumping into it* "Will ya get outta the way!"
- Teacher + Trip to Italy + 2 glasses of red wine + Bunch of students to record every moment = Even more hilarity

"Who's flashin'?"
- Teacher + Trip to Italy + 2 glasses of red wine + Bunch of students to record every moment + Camera flashes at night = So much hilarity we still mention it. Unfotunately the videotape of the trip melted when played. There was so much blackmail material on that tape

Spenguin

Not a bad idea Barry.

* Various commenting on someone in my classes singing
Student: He sings like mozart.

*French teacher asking student question
Student coughs
teacher: Going a bit heavy on the cigarrettes lately eh (name)?

* two students argue over which form their teacher likes best.
Teacher: I hate you all the bloody same.

*in assembly principal talking about peace
Principal: in the sixties people would often say the word peace as a greeting. Usually followed by the word man.

Peterfing

“These are the most sophisticated orgasms.”
-Woodwork teachers, meaning organisms

“What are you, queer?”
-PE teacher to boy who couldn’t throw basketball properly

“This is a big orgasm in Ireland...”
-Woodwork teacher again, talking about Coillte, meaning
organisation

“Move on to the sex one.”
-My Irish teacher (why are all my teacher’s talking about sex by
accident?)

“Erm… Miss … Jesus wasn’t in the Old Testament…”
-Student setting our Religion teacher straight

“Look who SLEPT IN THEIR CLOTHES!”
-Me, unfortunately, talking about my Irish teacher in an accidentally loud voice as she walked past me... I hate it when that happens

Student: “Oh the new religion teacher is so fine.”
Teacher walks by as he speaks
Student: “Seriously, I’ve got like a boner during class just looking at her.”
Another teacher walks past while he is speaking.

“I think she’s after getting fatter.”
-My friend talking to me about our Irish teacher who hears
exactly what he says. Eeep.


PS. :f33r: What the heck is that? The Odlums symbol or something?

Bazookatone

Okay, here goes:

"Jesus! It's like she had a whole other person inside her skin who's gotten out"
my friend, after seeing my school's vice principal who'd lost about half her weight

"So bishop, what's your opinion on spankathons?"
a guy on a pilgimage to Lourdes, speaking to the bishop of my diocese, I kid you not, I was a witness.

"You DO realise what is in this bag, don't you miss"
me, after being handed a shopping bag FULL of used fivers that had not yet been counted, by my social studies teacher.

"Are you taking the piss?"
me, again, after being asked by my parents if I had considered the priesthood as a career.

"HAhahahahahahahahaha!"
my mother, father, english teacher, best friends and tae kwon do insrtuctor on being informed that I had won a trip to lourdes.

"What time's the 08.30 bus at?"
my lovable but slightly ditzy friend

Bazookatone

okay, film quotes
"I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle" T2
"My brain! It's my second favourite organ!" Sleeper
"Naked force has resolved more issues throughout history than any other factor!" Starship Troopers
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that" 2001
"No, I am your father" The Empire Strikes Back
"Klaatu Barada Nikto" The day the earth stood still
"Come quietly or there will be.....trouble" Robocop
"Damn you, damn you all to Hell!!!!!" Planet of the Apes
"Uhhh.....They're flocking this way!" Jurassic Park
"Be afraid. Be very Afraid" The Fly

one TV quote
"If reavers take the ship, those who survive will be raped to death, cannabilised and skinned to make their clothes, and if thet're really lucky, it'll happen in that order. Firefly

revelate

continuing the theme of teacher quotes:

"The pill is only 99.9% effective girls and i still have to get a prescription for it"
English teacher

"You'll only get one eye, ever"
Home Ec teacher

and my personal favourites from our hyperactive geography teacher

"hang on, hang on..i've only got one set of ears..they haven't invented cloning yet..i'm not brilliant yet"

"there may be words missing from those photocopies girls but don't worry, they're only letters"

"there are water-testing stations on many rivers in ireland..go tell it to the shannon..go tell it to the blackwater!"

"scotland is still experiencing titanic activity"

"if you stand on the corner of your house you'll only get one idea girls"

mentalimplosion

teacher quotes:
*we could put sausages in pairs of tights, and hang them off the roof-german teacher

*in german class- half the people were asleep, the other half had their head on the desk in boredom.
german teacher-right girls, i know there's boys outside and you're all distracted by them. just stand up at stare at them. boys like that sort of thing.
next thing, all the girls in the class are standin g at the window staring at the guys.

*ana, get out of the class-english teacher
*ana, that's a terrible idea-art teacher
*ana, i don't believe that you could become the CEO of nestle. i'm giving you detention-geography teacher
*ana, shut up, nobody cares about the world trade talks-teacher

Squeee

"You're NOT stripping me on the hike!!!!"
My friend Ciara to our PE teacher.
Dick(formerly known as richard):
"I can't get it up"
"I can't get it to stay up"
Neil
"I have a small penis"
Person who shall not be named(I'd be killed)
"We were both thinking about little girls having sex....what-do-ya know?" (Believe it or not there WAS actually some previous conversation that made this statement acceptable)
"We are creatures of the underworld......we can't afford to laugh"-Moulin Rouge

Crash

SO OUT OF CONTEXT DAMN YOU!

Liquorice

Liam from Psychology 1 e-mailed everyone else in the class these, I thought I'd post them...

Quotes from our TA Elaine in study:
"No laughing"
"No talking"
"No messing"
"No listening to music"
"No debating whether Hitler went to Heaven or Hell"
"No cursing in German"
"No communicating telepathically"
"No climbing over desks"
"No standing on desks either"
"There shall be no contact with the desks"
"Okay, you can do your writing on the desks"
"No talking obviously un-literal statements literally"
"No passing judgement"
"No tempting Satan"
"No revoking of article 3 of the 22nd US amendment"
"No lying on one another"
"No poking one another"
"No catchphrases"
"No attempting a revolution"
"No flirting loudly"

Sarah(instructor):Teletubbies have been banned for diminishing children's speech capabilities and have been replaced by Bloopers-Flying Fart Machines.

Neil(some little guy from our class):Is this some sort of toll bridge or something? Smiley: No, it's a library.

Sarah: An apple? For me? Really? I always wanted an apple.

Sarah: Okay, we're going to do an experiment, but the Americans won't be able to do it.

Sarah: I picked typically Irish acronyms because I was purposely trying to trip up the Americans.

Neil: Didn't John Nash have a memory problem? Sarah: No, he had schizophrenia. Neil: But didn't he have a memory problem? Sarah: No, he didn't. (The conversation continued like this for a few minutes.)

And some more:
Steven: One child, slightly used.
Abstinence boy: Why can't everyone just abstain? Is it that hard?
MacDara: Áine, can we borrow your clitoris?
MacDara: They're going to give me a counciller!
(On some mini-skangers)They seem to have a fascination with vowels. Probably because they've been raised by their mopeds.(Possible slight misquotation) <--I can't remember who said that, it was either the Computational Linguistics TA or instructor.

Aliminator

TA of electronic eng. sesh2 '03

"there's only one person in this room drunk enough to be TA and that's ME!"

he also did that funny leer with one finger. and had wayne's world and bill n' ted quotes.


T2: " i need a vacation"

s0l

Aine, that was Fio our instructor.

hmmm, lets see

New teacher: Stop being such an idiot!
1st Student: Miss! that is an insult! For all you know I could be very intelligent! Just for that, if I discover a cure for cancer, you're not getting it!

*Student #2 Tapes the lunch of the person sitting in front of him together with her pencil case in one big bundle with just the top of the bottle sticking out*

Student #2 who just duct taped himself to his chair: Miss! I'm duct taped to the chair!

*Student #2 duct taped to chair is pushed and falls on the ground*
*gets up and runs out the door with a chair taped to his ass*
New Teacher: Get back in there!
Another teacher who showed up: What are you doing?!
*Student #2 is burning his way free of the duct tape with his lighter*
2nd Another Teacher to Student #3: GET INTO CLASS!
Student #3: No way! I'm not missing this!
Vice Principle to Student #2: You can't let yourself be bullied like this. You have my full permission to fight back.
Student #2: Fair enough



My god I love study classes with new teachers

Zukustious

Originally posted by Squeee
Grabby Dick(formerly known as richard):
"I can't get it to stay up"

I never said that!!! Why do you spout such lies and.... MADNESS

nosmo

Originally posted by Scarlett
Steven: One child, slightly used.

MY ****ING LINE BIZNATCH

Aliminator

Well, I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND PISS IN YOUR DEAD SKULL - thank you jack nicholson.
If i had a dick, i'd go get laid. We'll do the next best thing: kill people. -Dogma

John1188

Lines from School:

Teacher: "Now Mr. Surlis, we've been getting constant reports about you on your bike!"
Student: "eh, sir i don't have a bike"

Teacher: "where's your homework?"
Student1: "eh, i don't have it"
Teacher: "YOUR NOT WORKING BOY!, WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING? *launches into tirade*"
Student2: "sir your tie is on backwards"
Teacher: "watch it boy"
teacher then sits down and spends the rest of the class pretending not to be trying to fix his tie.

i would post more but right now i have to not be on the internet....

*******

twirly sponge

Originally posted by John1188
Lines from School:

Teacher: "Now Mr. Surlis, we've been getting constant reports about you on your bike!"
Student: "eh, sir i don't have a bike"

Marc doesn't have a bike?! I'm guessing it's Marc. Aw, poor Marc, we'll have to get him a bike. He can have my bike, I never use it. You'd like a nice purple bike (I think it's purple. I haven't seen it in a while) wouldnt ya Marc?

Barry Aldwell

"Now if you want to start a little banana republic here, and do everything different to everyone else then go ahead"
- My physics teacher trying to explain the importance of SI units

Teacher "Did you like Mr Morris (sub teacher), boys?"
Everyone: "Yes"
Student: "Can he teach us?"
*laughter*
Student: "No, seriously"
- We really liked that teacher. We're plotting the death of our normal teacher, in the hope we'll get him back

Dave Brennan: "I beat you, I beat you, I beat you in a test"
Me: "By 2%"
Dave: "I still beat you"
Me: "Dave, how many tests have I beaten you in over the years?"
Dave: "Erm.............I beat you."

John1188

Barry everyone who is unfortunate enough to be in her class plots the death of Ms. Burke, though i don't think Mr Morris would accept my class fulltime, alot of our class time was devoted to questioning his sexual orientation

twirly sponge

My brother Peter (while drunk): Kate, I only owe you €6.20, right.
Me: Actually, its €7.20
*Peter slaps me across head*
Peter: No it's only €7.20, ok? i'm no ****ing fool.

Erm, yeah.

Then he put on my glasses, looked at himself in the mirror and fell over laughing.