McDonalds Jokes

Walter Ego

I don't know if this has been done before. Let this be the repository of all McDonald jokes.

Yes before you ask Burger King etc are acceptable as sub genres.


A scotsman name Ronald McDonald has sucessfull sued the fast food chain for the mis-use of his name. Spurred on by his sucess his friend, Duncan Donut, is about to do the same.


McDonalds in Limerick are doing "A happy to be alive meal"

L4

Ha good jokes.
No but really, there not

I find it amusing that all these Limerick jokes never get a reaction. Because there are never any scobies here (or anywhere) to see them. They must'nt have th'internet down there. Horrible people they really are.

babyhack

one i made up myself a few weeks ago

MacDonalds USA have just told the public about there new meal sizes

Small
Medium
Large
Extra Large
Super Size
and





FAT BASTARD

MarkR

Originally posted by L4
Ha good jokes.
No but really, there not

I find it amusing that all these Limerick jokes never get a reaction. Because there are never any scobies here (or anywhere) to see them. They must'nt have th'internet down there. Horrible people they really are.

What a nice, sweeping generalisation...

BioHazRd

L4 has been asked to stop trolling via pm - lets not feed the trolls, it makes me grumpy

Bio

Töpher

Gotta love the family guy piss-take...

Ronald McDonald's sitting in a chair, complete with makeup, reading a paper.
Daughter comes downstairs, has a little blush and lipstick (makeup anyways!) on.
- "Bye dad, dont wait up"
- "Wait a minute, where do you think you're going with all that makeup on? You're a McDonald, not a whore!"

AL][EN

Everyone's seen this one but its funny none the less:

_____________________

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's
fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! (editor's note: I would
have hired him too!!)

______________________


NAME: Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If
I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first
place.


DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can
haggle.


EDUCATION: Yes.


LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.


SALARY: Less than I'm worth.


MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.


REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.


HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.


PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.


DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.


MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do you have a car that runs?"


HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.


DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.


WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.


DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.


SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

quank

lol
they're class

kmart6

Originally posted by AL][EN
Everyone's seen this one but its funny none the less:

_____________________

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's
fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! (editor's note: I would
have hired him too!!)

______________________


NAME: Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If
I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first
place.


DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can
haggle.


EDUCATION: Yes.


LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.


SALARY: Less than I'm worth.


MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.


REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.


HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.


PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.


DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.


MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do you have a car that runs?"


HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.


DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.


WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.


DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.


SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

That's just pure ingenious no doubt about it

JackKelly

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

haha, that is the funniest thing i've seen all week

The Beer Baron

I find it amusing that all these Limerick jokes never get a reaction. Because there are never any scobies here (or anywhere) to see them. They must'nt have th'internet down there. Horrible people they really are

C'meer'n seay dat tu moi feace!

/me stabs L4 repeatedly and sells his rotting carcass to the Chicken Hut.

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by Einstürzende
Ronald McDonald's sitting in a chair, complete with makeup, reading a paper.
Daughter comes downstairs, has a little blush and lipstick (makeup anyways!) on.
- "Bye dad, dont wait up"
- "Wait a minute, where do you think you're going with all that makeup on? You're a McDonald, not a whore!"

cracks me up everytime i see that

Spawn

lol