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modern office terminology

  • 22-12-2003 8:55pm
    #1
    swalsh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 536 ✭✭✭


    Latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the early 00s office environment:

    Blamestorming
    Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

    Seagull Manager
    A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

    Salmon Day
    The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

    Chainsaw Consultant
    An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

    CLM
    Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. (Also known as CLB - Career Limiting Behaviour)

    Adminisphere
    The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

    Dilberted
    To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

    Ohnosecond
    That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.

    Percussive Maintenance
    The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

    Prairie Dogging
    When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office floor full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.


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